I went through a solid year in ministry where I experienced abuse as a pastor from a congregation. My hurt was completely dealt with by going to God, since I had no one else in the world to go to. Wow. Did God ever move. People talk about pastors abusing saints, but never stop to think sometimes pastors are abused by saints, too. I prayed about situations and saw prayers answered the VERY NEXT DAY, over and over again! People would come and make it right. What a time we had that year. I hope I never go through that kind of ordeal again.
Praise God, sometimes out of great hurt comes greater healing and victory.
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If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8 KJV
Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2 KJV
Your post reminded me of something that I experienced. Sometimes well meaning Christians can unwittingly be unwise. There was a young woman who I was teaching bible studies to who had, in the past tried to commit suicide and had a drinking problem.
One night I was at her apartment and was going to give her a ride to church. She told me that she needed to go to an AA meeting. I told her she didnt need AA, just needed to come to church, she had the HG and that was all she needed. She followed my advice and fell off the wagon.
The next time I came to pick her up for church she was dead drunk. I took her to church and we went to the altar and prayed. Never saw her after that. I know that God can fix people "right now." But it doesnt always work that way. Maybe I should have encouraged her to stay in AA. Maybe I didn't give her the right advice. I meant to help her, but somehow it didn't work the way I wanted it to.
It's good that you forgave your former Pastor, I'm betting he meant well, but even Pastors are only human and can fail us.
Sometimes, depending only on Jesus for things like this actually does work. Sometimes not. Same goes for AA. Their respective "batting average" is up for speculation.
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Hebrews 13:23 Know ye that our brother Timothy is set at liberty
When we look at the NT during the time of Jesus' ministry, what is the greatest hurt that was experienced by those who followed and/or knew him? My answer would be the death of Lazarus. Jesus wept. The only time mentioned he wept. So, I believe that the death of a loved one would be at the top of the list for just about anybody. The answer that immediately popped in my head was the death of my father when I was 12 years old. I was fatherless and no one, and I mean no one, that was a Christian in my extended family came to my aid. I'm over that now, but I will always remember that.
Being rejected by a loved one is at the top of my list. I have yet learned to overcome it.
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This world is not my home, I'm just a passing through.
When my husband hurt me, I had an affair to get back at him. I am still paying for that hurt today.
When my pastor and wife and his mother hurt me over and over, I became a fighter. With words, deeds, and actions. I have since forgiven them and I pray EVERY day that God restore an Agape love for them. I want me and them to make it to heaven. For without forgiveness and love, I can't make it in.
When my husband hurt me this last time, I left. I have been separated just past three years and currently have divorce papers in the works.
I totally rely on God. Trust is a very hard thing for me right now. I get physically sick it trust is even an issue. I have a hard time talking with people now. I used to be so open and trusting. Not any longer. Hurts too much to trust too deeply.
But all in all, I have become a stronger more confident person who KNOWS beyond a shadow of a doubt that God love me regardless of what I have done and said. He is my all in all!
Those who know me know Ive walked a difficult path at times. Ive written about some of it. But what I have always found is there is someone close, whos path has been such that I happily walk my own without complaint. They walk a road more difficult and do so with grace.
Some have posted in this thread things that shake me. I am blessed by your strength and heartbroken for your suffering.
This past weekend, I preached and touched on the Egyptian plague of darkness. The scripture says it was a darkness that could be felt and the people of God only had small light in their own homes.
Ive been in places like that. Darkness that was palpable. Darkness that could be felt… with only the slightest tiny bit of light… at times I am not even sure there was that much. But God is a lamp to our feet. He has carried me in the past… and that is my little light when I face the darkness.
__________________ If I do something stupid blame the Lortab!
After reading all the posts I know one thing, nobody is immune from hurt and each of us deal with hurt the best way we know at the time. We all feel alone during our time of pain and we all reach out for God.
Some of the hurts I've seen written are things I have been through myself and some of the hurts are hurts I pray I never experience.
No matter which account of hurt I've read, it brought a few tears to my eyes because I empathize with each and every one of you.
The hurts I've been through ... well no need in rehashing and some I'd rather forget, and yet other hurts still hurt. Yet there's nothing I can do about it. I used to cry because there was nobody there to help me with my hurts; nobody who understood how I felt. But now that God brought me through the past hurts, I see that there was not much that anybody could have helped me with...at least not in the way God has helped me. Most of the time God is the ONLY one who can help and heal the bad things that happen in our lives. Nobody knows you, the real you inside like our Savior does and He knows how to comfort in ways that will astound you.
When there were no arms to hold me, the Holy Ghost did.
Ive been in places like that. Darkness that was palpable. Darkness that could be felt… with only the slightest tiny bit of light… at times I am not even sure there was that much. But God is a lamp to our feet. He has carried me in the past… and that is my little light when I face the darkness.
Yes, and unless one has that experience of darkness trying to envelope you, to overtake you, they will never know how hard it is to break out of that. And yes, God always shines a light at some point in time into the darkness so that you can find your way out.
I totally rely on God. Trust is a very hard thing for me right now. I get physically sick it trust is even an issue. I have a hard time talking with people now. I used to be so open and trusting. Not any longer. Hurts too much to trust too deeply.
But all in all, I have become a stronger more confident person who KNOWS beyond a shadow of a doubt that God love me regardless of what I have done and said. He is my all in all!
Bella, the one person that I've learned I can rely on IS God. People betray another's trust for various reasons. Most are weak. I speak for myself here in that learning to forgive is hard because I see those who have betrayed or rejected me laughing and seem to be popular and beloved in their crowd, while treating me as if I am scum of the earth because my point of view differs from theirs. Then there are the times I thought I have forgiven, then I see those who hurt me and those feelings come right back. It is a battle for many of us.
Right now tackling your emotions probably seems as big as an elephant, as well as the trust issue. I was once asked "How do you eat an elephant?" Answer: One bite at a time.
If the Lord is the only one you can trust right now, then trust the Lord Jesus only. When you are ready, Jesus will help you to reach out and trust others...one at a time. He knows your heart.
Amanah, Sarah, Falla, Cindy and all the saint's who have lost a child(ren). I am so sorry for your loss. That pain is hard to bear. I am trying to understand the empty feeling that must be there because I have a sister who lost her only child in a truck wreck 16 years ago. She has distanced herself from me and there is nothing I can do to help her. She says she doesn't need help. The little she did have to do with me, she would criticize me and pick fights to the point that now we don't see each other at all. I miss my sister. I miss the one who used to be happy. Now all she cares about is her animals, including the rats that take up residence in her home.
Bella, the one person that I've learned I can rely on IS God. People betray another's trust for various reasons. Most are weak. I speak for myself here in that learning to forgive is hard because I see those who have betrayed or rejected me laughing and seem to be popular and beloved in their crowd, while treating me as if I am scum of the earth because my point of view differs from theirs. Then there are the times I thought I have forgiven, then I see those who hurt me and those feelings come right back. It is a battle for many of us.
Right now tackling your emotions probably seems as big as an elephant, as well as the trust issue. I was once asked "How do you eat an elephant?" Answer: One bite at a time.
If the Lord is the only one you can trust right now, then trust the Lord Jesus only. When you are ready, Jesus will help you to reach out and trust others...one at a time. He knows your heart.
May God bless you.
Thank you for your kind words. They mean the world right now!
People talk about pastors abusing saints, but never stop to think sometimes pastors are abused by saints, too. I prayed about situations and saw prayers answered the VERY NEXT DAY, over and over again! People would come and make it right. What a time we had that year. I hope I never go through that kind of ordeal again.
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