Educated Less Likely to Divorce than Evangelicals

[A_PoMo]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

That's what I assumed, but you and I have discussed some of these things before.

True dat.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by A_PoMo

it was a little too revealing in terms of my personal situation so i deleted it.

Now we wanna know. You can kill Renda later. (j/k)

[ILG]

Originally Posted by A_PoMo

There's something to be said for the sexual pressure. I agree with that to a large degree. Imo, the constant focus on sexual issues in holiness churches serves more to exacerbate the sexual pressure than to abate it, and thus produces many unintended and undesirable results in the behavior of the people. The attention to sexual issues is fuel instead of water on the flames of passion, imo.

It's kind of like TV, when the preacher preaches against it every week you tend to want to get one. Then when you do you go hog wild for awhile and then after awhile most people I know tend to not watch it much.

I have two young people in my house. What is the answer do you think?

[A_PoMo]

Originally Posted by ILG

Now we wanna know. You can kill Renda later.

It's not Renda I'm worried about.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by A_PoMo

It's not Renda I'm worried about.

Yes, I understand. I was just kidding. But seriously, how should this be dealt with because as you say the "no" adds fuel to the fire.

[A_PoMo]

Originally Posted by ILG

I have two young people in my house. What is the answer do you think?

Well, I'm no James Dobson...but with my boys I've tried to be very open about sexual issues from the start and not shy away from them. I figure if I'm open and frank and put it in its proper perspective then it won't be the mysterious unknown when the hormones kick in. I had the birds and bees and adam and steve talk w/my oldest son when he was 7(?) as soon as I found out he'd seen some questionable pictures at a neighbors kid's. I answer any questions he has from time to time w/out getting nervous or act like it's a taboo subject. I don't oversexualize them, I just don't avoid it and treat the subject as if it's something that's all that sensitive. Hopefully when the hormones kick in and he's faced with sexuality in his peer group he'll have a more well rounded, more informed and balanced understanding of sex and sexuality. I kinda wonder if we try to be hush hush about it and/or focus on it too much that we give it too much power and influence in our thinking. Kinda like talking about the devil too much instills fear in people. So far I think his view of sex is pretty mature and well balanced.

[Michael Phelps]

Originally Posted by A_PoMo

Well, I'm no James Dobson...but with my boys I've tried to be very open about sexual issues from the start and not shy away from them. I figure if I'm open and frank and put it in its proper perspective then it won't be the mysterious unknown when the hormones kick in. I had the birds and bees and adam and steve talk w/my oldest son when he was 7(?) as soon as I found out he'd seen some questionable pictures at a neighbors kid's. I answer any questions he has from time to time w/out getting nervous or act like it's a taboo subject. I don't oversexualize them, I just don't avoid it and treat the subject as if it's something that's all that sensitive. Hopefully when the hormones kick in and he's faced with sexuality in his peer group he'll have a more well rounded, more informed and balanced understanding of sex and sexuality. I kinda wonder if we try to be hush hush about it and/or focus on it too much that we give it too much power and influence in our thinking. Kinda like talking about the devil too much instills fear in people. So far I think his view of sex is pretty mature and well balanced.

I commend you, PoMo, I've done the same thing with my three sons.

I could never even mention sex to my parents without being rushed to the altar to repent!

[A_PoMo]

Originally Posted by Michael Phelps

I commend you, PoMo, I've done the same thing with my three sons.

I could never even mention sex to my parents without being rushed to the altar to repent!

Have you seen good results in your boys by taking this approach? It's a new approach for me, my parents pretty much a 'don't ask, don't tell' approach to it.

Ironically, in my experience, the holiness churches I grew up in were much more sexually charged than my 'worldly' and evangelical experience as an adult. And if you're a man reading this then you know it's not merely a stage of life or hormonal thing. Know what I mean?

[Michael Phelps]

Originally Posted by A_PoMo

Have you seen good results in your boys by taking this approach? It's a new approach for me, my parents pretty much a 'don't ask, don't tell' approach to it.

Ironically, in my experience, the holiness churches I grew up in were much more sexually charged than my 'worldly' and evangelical experience as an adult. And if you're a man reading this then you know it's not merely a stage of life or hormonal thing. Know what I mean?

I think I've had very good success. Of course, I have no way of knowing what my teenagers do every moment of the day, so far I've found no evidence of their involvement with pornography, no hint that they are involved in premarital sex, or any of the other things our parents worried so much about with us.

[A_PoMo]

Originally Posted by Michael Phelps

I think I've had very good success. Of course, I have no way of knowing what my teenagers do every moment of the day, so far I've found no evidence of their involvement with pornography, no hint that they are involved in premarital sex, or any of the other things our parents worried so much about with us.

That's encouraging. When my boys are old enough to go out w/friends I'll prob tell them "Don't do anything I did when I was your age!". HAHA!