Irreconcilable Differences

[revrandy]

In any relationship there are two sides to every story and a person dealing with a couple will not have a full picture of what's going on until both sides are communicated...

1. Abuse in any situation is grounds for seperation in my opininon... leading to Divorce if necessary.. there is no reason a person should be told to stay in a abusive situation..

2. Adultery is not immediate grounds for a divorce.. Relationships can be worked out even when adultery is involved...

3. Not all pregant unwed mothers should marry the Father of their child... this can lead to major problems..

I think if any two people are willing to do what it takes to make a relationship work any problem can be worked out and the relationship saved...

if only one trys... the relationship is doomed..

[Nahum]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Yes.



It would depend on whether or not I could fulfill the expectations, and/or whether or not I would be compensated accordingly and fairly.



It would depend on the specific issues in question, but if certain doctrinal lines were crossed (according to the things my husband and I have agreed upon), we would leave immediately. We consider those lines to be drawn in what is taught and preached over the pulpit and in classrooms. Private and personal viewpoints don't really count...because they can change over the years.

"Immediately" is mainly because we have children who are more impressionable than we are.

Impressive! This was the input I was looking for.

I mean, surely we all have our "jumping off the bandwagon" point.

[Nahum]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

I think talking about divorce with undivorced people can be unproductive at times.

You're right. "Been there" people have a great deal more compassion than those who haven't been there.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by revrandy

In any relationship there are two sides to every story and a person dealing with a couple will not have a full picture of what's going on until both sides are communicated...

1. Abuse in any situation is grounds for seperation in my opininon... leading to Divorce if necessary.. there is no reason a person should be told to stay in a abusive situation..

2. Adultery is not immediate grounds for a divorce.. Relationships can be worked out even when adultery is involved...

3. Not all pregant unwed mothers should marry the Father of their child... this can lead to major problems..

I think if any two people are willing to do what it takes to make a relationship work any problem can be worked out and the relationship saved...

if only one trys... the relationship is doomed..

Key point.

[crakjak]

Originally Posted by Pastor Poster

This is so hard. It's hard to reconcile the truth you've just posted with what the Word says. I would have a hard time telling someone to stay in an abusive relationship.

If a person is in extreme danger, how can we not intervene? One of my own sisters almost died after fifteen years of an abusive husband, before her pastor and our father realized intervention was required. Their action saved her life, and most likely the spiritual lives of five children, God has restored her and her children's lives. It took the action of those around her in "authority" to literally give her permission to leave. Pastors and fathers you have awesome responsibility.

She was not the person in my previous post.

[SDG]

Originally Posted by Pastor Poster

Can a person change so drastically that you would choose to break fellowship with them? If your job changed it's expectations of you, how long would it take for you to quit? If your church slipped into liberality, how long before you leave?

Texas does not use the term irreconcilable differences in a no-fault divorce ... it simply uses the term INSUPPORTABILITY ...

These were the grounds by which our divorce was filed.

I've been taught this not the grounds for a divorce .... a couple should do whatever is humanly possible to repair a marriage ..... w/ self-denial being key .... while of course, allowing the power of God to intervene.

However, as someone stated ... it takes two to tango ... if one party for whatever reason files for divorce under these terms what can the other party do .....?????

There are many serious consequence for not responding to it ... custody of children, property, etc.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

I think talking about divorce with undivorced people can be unproductive at times.

It can also be very productive when someone you know has been through divorce and you are forced to recognize it is a complex issue without simple, trite answers.

Discussion is good.

[revrandy]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

It can also be very productive when someone you know has been through divorce and you are forced to recognize it is a complex issue without simple, trite answers.

Discussion is good.

Group Therapy Works!!!!.. It really does when folks can communicate their situations and realize there are other who go thru the same things.. it helps..

[crakjak]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

So, if you believe it takes two to tango do you really believe that in all situations? What did this relative do that "caused" her drunken husband to do this?

Sometimes, it really doesn't take two.

I know there are two sides to every story, but I know this situation well. What did she do? She begged him not to drink in front of their children. She cleaned up after him, she covered for him. She enabled him. If she had been better equipped she could have handled better I'm sure, however her life was in danger at that moment.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

It can also be very productive when someone you know has been through divorce and you are forced to recognize it is a complex issue without simple, trite answers.

Discussion is good.

That is very true and I completely agree.

What you are talking about requires open listening and understanding and not just opinions of the nondivorced that only have the simple, trite answers.

I believe we are on the same page here.