Pastor's Kids

[triumphant1]

Originally Posted by Whole Hearted

Well my kids are very active in the church, my daughter is a praise singer and our main special singer, my son plays the drums and works in outreach. Anyone on the platform should be en example.

Preachers and their families do live in a glass house, especially in a small community.

I am thankful that your kids are involved and active...praise God!

I have discovered that the glass house syndrom is only as big as you allow it to be. I do not allow intrusions into my personal life...but I do not pastor in such a way as to intrude into the personal lives of the people either...

I am not afraid to say, "That is a private family matter."

But I also don't make unexpected house calls and it is pretty much known that I do not appreciate them either. I also do not share every thing about my family while I preach. Nor do I use them as "examples" in a "look at my kids" kind of way.

[IAintMovin]

Originally Posted by revrandy

True.. But I don't have the relationship for whatever reasons with them I think we could have had..

and I'm fairly more liberal than my dad....

[MrsMcD]

Originally Posted by triumphant1

I used to remind the church that my kids were not their kids example (still do every so often but it is not as necessary now). I have refused to have the "live in a glass house" syndrom and such. I had someone come up to me one time (back in our uPC days) and went on about how my kid needed to do this or that because they needed to set an example for the other kids. My reply, "You can forget that. You are your kids example and if they turn out rotten then you have yourself to blame first, but you will never blame my kids for your kids behavior."

I do not face it like that now that we have left the UPC.

I refuse to let the "saints" place such expectations on my family period. I do not live every day worrying about it like that. We are people, working in the kingdom of God.

I think the main problem with this is when a pastor preaches so hard, and places so many rules on the congregation, that there is a lot of pressure on his family to tow the line. How can he whip the people into the submission of treading water when his own kids don't walk on water.

[IAintMovin]

Originally Posted by triumphant1

I am thankful that your kids are involved and active...praise God!

I have discovered that the glass house syndrom is only as big as you allow it to be. I do not allow intrusions into my personal life...but I do not pastor in such a way as to intrude into the personal lives of the people either...

I am not afraid to say, "That is a private family matter."

But I also don't make unexpected house calls and it is pretty much known that I do not appreciate them either. I also do not share every thing about my family while I preach. Nor do I use them as "examples" in a "look at my kids" kind of way.

I remember when I first went up north of you that there was a family who came by for a "visit".....guess that they did that with AK before me.......I grabbed Shelly, ran outside stood in the driveway for about 10 minutes.......made the small talk......thanked them for coming by.....told them we needed to go in now.....BYE!!!!.......I was impressed... they caught on.........

I am like you in that I dont drop by without reason.... .and dont you either......

[Whole Hearted]

Originally Posted by triumphant1

I am thankful that your kids are involved and active...praise God!

I have discovered that the glass house syndrom is only as big as you allow it to be. I do not allow intrusions into my personal life...but I do not pastor in such a way as to intrude into the personal lives of the people either...

I am not afraid to say, "That is a private family matter."

But I also don't make unexpected house calls and it is pretty much known that I do not appreciate them either. I also do not share every thing about my family while I preach. Nor do I use them as "examples" in a "look at my kids" kind of way.

I pastor country people and they like to drop by for coffee, we live nest door to the church right now. We are trying to find property though. I want them to feel welcome anytime.

I drop by their house anytime I want to and they enjoy the visits.

[Whole Hearted]

Originally Posted by IAintMovin

I remember when I first went up north of you that there was a family who came by for a "visit".....guess that they did that with AK before me.......I grabbed Shelly, ran outside stood in the driveway for about 10 minutes.......made the small talk......thanked them for coming by.....told them we needed to go in now.....BYE!!!!.......I was impressed... they caught on.........

I am like you in that I dont drop by without reason.... .and dont you either......

You mean I can't drop by for coffee and a slice of pie?

[triumphant1]

Originally Posted by Whole Hearted

I pastor country people and they like to drop by for coffee, we live nest door to the church right now. We are trying to find property though. I want them to feel welcome anytime.

I drop by their house anytime I want to and they enjoy the visits.

I am not condemning you in this...I simply do not want to do it like that...and I have less problems with the glass house syndrom as a result.

[IAintMovin]

Originally Posted by Whole Hearted

You mean I can't drop by for coffee and a slice of pie?

That would be a NO.....but I will meet in the driveway.......you have 10 minutes.. and the watch is ticking......

[Whole Hearted]

Originally Posted by triumphant1

I am not condemning you in this...I simply do not want to do it like that...and I have less problems with the glass house syndrom as a result.

Well that would never work out here with country folks.

It wouldn't work with me either, if the pastor is off limits to me and I'm not good enough to come in his house, then he's not good enough to get my hard earned tithes.

[Jodiah91]

Originally Posted by IAintMovin

Like it or not, the children of the pastor are NOT the same as others. Yes I agree that they should be treated the same and I make every effort to see that happen in our five childrens lives, but that aside, it is not the same.

As a pastors Child, you live in a glass house. Things that are all right for others to do, you are not allowed. A pastors childs mistakes are magnified many times over and their achievements are what they should do.

I have explained to my children over and over again, that life is not always fair, but they do have certain privileges that others do not have and therefore there are certain negatives to being a pastors child.

I know this because I am one and I am attempting to raise 5 (well one is married now.... to a preacher) of our own.

I agree with this. Fair or not, it is the way it is. I was a pastor's daughter for many of my pre-teen/teen years and I, along with my sisters, was constantly under the microscope. We represented my father. I don't think it has anything to do with not representing God as someone mentioned before. We all must represent God, but children are often considered a representation of their parents as well (i.e. how they were raised, etc). To this day, if myself or one of my sisters do something contrary to the word of God, I am grieved not only because of the disappointment I/they have caused God, but also because of the disrespect it shows to my father, who taught us the truth we know and love. No we didn't choose the life of ministry, but then neither did my parents. GOD chose THEM. They really had no choice if they wanted to be in His will. I don't think a life of a minister is anything someone who has been in that capacity would ever look back and say they would have willingly volunteered for simply because of the scrutiny it puts you under. One of my best friends is our pastor's daughter and she is always held to a higher standard. . .unfair though it may be. I do believe there is a higher expectation of those in the ministry, and this includes their families as well. Just my two cents. . . .