Youth Ministry Ethics Question - Page 4

LifeGuide · #31 06-14-2011, 08:51 PM

It is the law in our state. There is a 28 yr. old asst. soccer coach who was having a relationship with a 19 yr. old graduate of his program currently serving a 3 yr. sentence for sexual battery. The language of the law includes non-profits and states that payed or volunteer makes no difference. I agree that the 19 yr. old is not innocent. He was "benched" for a time of counseling and even attended another church for 6 months by his choosing. But he was NOT in a position of leadership. The 30 yr. old taught Bible Studies and chaperoned youth events. Grave difference between the 19 yr. old and the 30 yr. old.

RandyWayne · #32 06-15-2011, 12:59 AM

When I think of a 30 year old woman having "relations" with an 18 or 19 year old guy, my first thought is "were where these women when I was 19??", but all joking aside it also points to the huge double standard where men are considered sexual predators but women are given a free pass.

Praxeas · #33 06-15-2011, 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pragmatist

I don't doubt that it is against the law. If the person is in a position of leadership and the other is considered a youth then it is abuse of authority.

If both were leaders despite the age difference that is different.

I don't know the state (or really care for that matter) but I am familiar with similar laws.

I doubt it. This is a church, not a public or government entity. Store managers can legally date a bagger or check out person as far as I know

As far as I know a pastor can date a lay person,legally.

I've never heard of any law that forbids youth leaders from dating one of the youth members that is over 18

Praxeas · #34 06-15-2011, 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LifeGuide

It is the law in our state. There is a 28 yr. old asst. soccer coach who was having a relationship with a 19 yr. old graduate of his program currently serving a 3 yr. sentence for sexual battery. The language of the law includes non-profits and states that payed or volunteer makes no difference. I agree that the 19 yr. old is not innocent. He was "benched" for a time of counseling and even attended another church for 6 months by his choosing. But he was NOT in a position of leadership. The 30 yr. old taught Bible Studies and chaperoned youth events. Grave difference between the 19 yr. old and the 30 yr. old.

Sexual battery for an adult? What state?

Here is Missouri
SEC. 97-3-95. Sexual battery.
(1) A person is guilty of sexual battery if he or she engages in sexual penetration with:

(a) Another person without his or her consent;

(b) A mentally defective, mentally incapacitated or physically helpless person; or

(c) A child under the age of fourteen (14) years.

(2) A person is guilty of sexual battery if he or she engages in sexual penetration with a child of fourteen (14) but less than eighteen (18) years if the person is in a position of trust or authority over the child including without limitation the child's teacher, counselor, physician, psychiatrist, psychologist, minister, priest, physical therapist, chiropractor, legal guardian, parent, stepparent, aunt, uncle, scout leader or coach.

That is why Im dubious. Usually it involves a person under 18 not over 18

In those cases, such as a college, the college might dismiss the teacher for ethics violation but legally they did not thing wrong

houston · #35 06-15-2011, 01:12 AM

Not sure if it's illegal in this case. If he was a teacher and she was his pupil at one point, it would be illegal (in Texas). I was certified as a substitute teacher in March and heard a horror story.

A man and his wife were going through a divorce. They were married for several yrs. Anyway, he was her h.s. teacher at one point. Through the divorce proceedings the woman claimed that he used his authority to get her to "whatever." It did not matter that they were married for x ammount of yrs or that the age of consent is 17. Apparently there is no statute of limitations for this "law." The man lost his job and was incarcerated.

I'd like to doubt the veracity of this story...

Cindy · #36 06-15-2011, 07:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by houston

Not sure if it's illegal in this case. If he was a teacher and she was his pupil at one point, it would be illegal (in Texas). I was certified as a substitute teacher in March and heard a horror story.

A man and his wife were going through a divorce. They were married for several yrs. Anyway, he was her h.s. teacher at one point. Through the divorce proceedings the woman claimed that he used his authority to get her to "whatever." It did not matter that they were married for x ammount of yrs or that the age of consent is 17. Apparently there is no statute of limitations for this "law." The man lost his job and was incarcerated.

I'd like to doubt the veracity of this story...

It goes to intent. You have to look at the statutes carefully. A lot of them are worded in ways to make it easy to manipulate, from both sides. Especially older laws.
Now, I don't know if the person in the opening post did anything illegal. But, they did something immoral while in a leadership role. They may be restored to the body, but have no leadership role for a long while, at least. That's the thing with breaking trust, it's so hard to get it back. And this shows the consequences of a brief time of sinful pleasure vs our relationship with God. And the damage it can do to all involved, and even the body of Christ.

Bishop Cleatus · #37 06-15-2011, 10:29 AM

Had a visiting evangelist a while back who announced over the platform that he met his wife while he was her youth pastor. I'm not sure that it was acted upon while they were in those roles, but it weirded me out anyway. If it was, it feels like a betrayal of trust to both the kid and the parents. All worked out I guess. Still. Left a bad taste in my mouth.

Praxeas · #38 06-15-2011, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by houston

Not sure if it's illegal in this case. If he was a teacher and she was his pupil at one point, it would be illegal (in Texas). I was certified as a substitute teacher in March and heard a horror story.

A man and his wife were going through a divorce. They were married for several yrs. Anyway, he was her h.s. teacher at one point. Through the divorce proceedings the woman claimed that he used his authority to get her to "whatever." It did not matter that they were married for x ammount of yrs or that the age of consent is 17. Apparently there is no statute of limitations for this "law." The man lost his job and was incarcerated.

I'd like to doubt the veracity of this story...

I don't believe it until I see the proof. The whole thing sounds fishy. The laws are made to protect minors

If this was the case store managers can't date clerks. Gas station owners can't date a gas station clerk. Pastors can't date anyone that is not a pastor.

Praxeas · #39 06-15-2011, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bishop Cleatus

Had a visiting evangelist a while back who announced over the platform that he met his wife while he was her youth pastor. I'm not sure that it was acted upon while they were in those roles, but it weirded me out anyway. If it was, it feels like a betrayal of trust to both the kid and the parents. All worked out I guess. Still. Left a bad taste in my mouth.

I don't see the problem if both are over 18, legally. I see ethics issues might be in place if they were having a relationship while he was pastor over the youth

Pragmatist · #40 06-15-2011, 04:04 PM

Well, it's kind of tough for him to prove without giving away his location and he may not want to. Just because you haven't heard of a law, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. He has no reason to be making it up.