For those that left the UPC...

[Godsdrummer]

As I read all of the responses I realize how sad it is that we have lost the true reason of salvation, that is relationship with God and the kingdom of God and not to be part of a “church”. Just before reading this I sent off a email to a friend I have known for years telling him how and why I left UPCI. I was raise UPCI, carried license with them, started a Home Missions Church, held several assistant pastor positions, and finally was an associate minister in the last church for 10 years before leaving UPC. My two cents, submit to your husband, after all he is your head not your pastor. Ask leading questions in your family devotions to get him studying, and pray. Prayer can do in less time what debating would do. God is still on the throne.

Just a testimony, my middle daughter married a great young man that has done great things in his life. But in the first couple of years of their marriage the chose to follow some extreme convictions that brought division between them and the rest of our children. When they would come visit us as they live close to us I would get into discussions with him manly over standards. We would really get vocal to the point that my wife would get upset at me. Finally I quit starting debates with him and prayed a simple prayer, “God if what you have shown me is truth show my son in law”. Two years later God opened both their understanding and they left the performance based church they were attending. Now all my 4 children and their spouses have closer walks with God then they ever did in unconventional groups.

So in wrapping this up support your husband, keep asking him questions to cause him to study things out. And take this as a growing time in God. Just remember this will build your caricature and there will come a time when your husbands ministry will grow to the point that you will be his equal in realms you never dreamed of.

Now some of you will understand why it is so hard to get a Mormon or JW to leave their faith.
Face it we have become a cult.

[POWERUP]

BUMP!!!!!

[Falla39]

Originally Posted by Mirth1981

I don't want to make any huge decisions unless my husband is in agreeance with me. I don't see myself going to a different church without him. But I don't want him to just say "Okay, then we'll just stay where we're at"...without studying for himself, or like you said: waiting me out. By the same token, I don't want to attempt to "lead" my husband spiritually or otherwise either, because that is not Biblical. I'm in a very strange place...only God truly knows and understands.

In the meanwhile...I thank God for his goodness and mercy. I have so much to be thankful for.

Sis. Mirth,
Do you have children?

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Mirth1981

Yep! You guessed right. He shuts me down when I bring up the topic lately. I think he is going to refuse to take a stand, but I'm praying that he will study for himself.
.

I have a friend going through this. But, it's the opposite. She wants to stay in and he wants to leave. She e-mailed me this morning to ask me to pray. He's given her an ultimatum - if she doesn't leave, he will divorce her. Empty threat, he's not going to do that, but it's not a good situation.

Praying for you and your family.

[POWERUP]

I don't know the whole story...............But it sounds like a bad situation!!

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by POWERUP

I don't know the whole story...............But it sounds like a bad situation!!

Yes, it is. She has been raised conservative all of her life. This is who she is and feels she can't live any other way. Knowing her and her family, I don't see how she will be happy otherwise.

[POWERUP]

Pressing-on you sound like a well balanced person!!! I totally agree. You are who
you are. I would never try to change anyone.

My whole family is UPC. I have never tried to change any of them. My dad was
a well-balanced UPC pastor. He never saw standards as a heaven or hell issue.

So is my brother. I respect that. On my part it was me and my wifes decesion. We
have a special relationship. We would never do anything to harm our walk with God.

[*AQuietPlace*]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Yes, it is. She has been raised conservative all of her life. This is who she is and feels she can't live any other way. Knowing her and her family, I don't see how she will be happy otherwise.

What a mess. These things are so difficult sometimes.

[Falla39]

For many years I believe there has been a shaking in the land. It seems to have
intensified. There is a passage in Hebrews that speaks of a shaking of not only the
earth but of heaven also.

Heb. 12:26,27

26 Whose voice then shook the earth: but now he hath promised, saying, Yet once more I shake not the earth only, but also heaven.
27 And this word, Yet once more, signifieth the removing of those things that are shaken, as of things that are made, that those things which cannot be shaken may remain.

28 Wherefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear:

29 For our God is a consuming fire

When there is a storm, hurricane or an earthquake, etc, many things are totally
destroyed. But there usually are some buildings, etc. that remain after the
devastation. Those that a built on a strong foundation.
The shaking in Hebrews was to remove the things that COULD be shaken,
leaving intact, to remain, those things which CANNOT be shaken. The Kingdom
of GOD will never be removed. It will remain FOREVER!

Falla39

[SeekingOne]

Mirth1981 asked:

1)What made you finally decide to leave?

I clearly heard from Jesus to leave.

2) Was it difficult?

YES! I did NOT want to leave at the time, but knew I had to obey.

3) Were you able to find a church that wasn't "easy believism" but yet one that didn't enforce extra-biblical principles where you could go and worship God in your own way?

Yes, but it took me a couple of months to accept the new church. Talk about culture shock!!! ( I will private message you about all this.)

4)Do you have any regrets?

Yes, I regret that I didn't leave years earlier. Just think of all the wasted years and all the harm that came to our family. ( I can't say what harm, because those watching the forum will figure out who I am and make more trouble for our family.)

I regret that my old church is STILL in control of part of my life, because I have to jump through hoops just to have contact with my family. Like I can't tell you publicly who I am, because I would be accused of slandering them. :-/ Funny how the truth is slander.

5) Anything you wish you had done differently?

As said before, I wish I had left years earlier. I also wish that I had not even discussed what God was showing me, so that I would not have been labeled an enemy of the church. Somehow, my sharing what I discovered in the Bible, and what I didn't find that is taught, made me an enemy.

6) How is your walk with God now?

Much better! The church I attend preaches the benefits of living for Jesus and sharing the love of Jesus with others. Interesting how focusing on Jesus and all He did, being grateful, and sharing all this with people who don't know Him causes me to actually focus more time on Jesus!

There is peace, happiness and joy where there used to be frustration and fear of "messing up" all the time. I don't focus on keeping my salvation and "making all the way to the end" now. Funny though, I WILL make it "all the way to the end" now because my focus IS on HIM instead of church.

7) Do you still suffer from self condemnation and feel brainwashed?

NO! That freedom came right away. What I do suffer from, is knowing that all the people I love and cherish are condemning me and think I have been brainwashed.