Serious Question

[ILG]

Here is another serious question. If a woman has a husband who has been looking at porn....does she have biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage?

[Pastor Keith]

A couple of facts:

Porn and it effect upon the ministry is more prevalent than anyone realizes

The power of addiction is secrecy and with some of the logic here, no one struggling with it will be getting help (exposing it to the light) anytime soon

The effect of porn is kin to the same high that a drug will give, it centers on the pleasure center in the brain, it surely is behavioral but at the same time is very addictive

We need to have a comprehensive and sound approach to help recover and restore people with this issue.

Let me say from experience, exposure at an early age and bring a lifetime of warfare. Parents guard you children.

Part of the remedy is something we are implementing called the Life Transformation Group, practical accountability/discipleship

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by ILG

Here is another serious question. If a woman has a husband who has been looking at porn....does she have biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage?

What a person has the right to do or grounds to do is not always the same as what they ought to do.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

What a person has the right to do or grounds to do is not always the same as what they ought to do.

True. It might be best to withhold judgement in such matters. I don't really know the answer but wondered about the (I'm sure many and varied) opinions here.

[crakjak]

Originally Posted by keith4him

A couple of facts:

Porn and it effect upon the ministry is more prevalent than anyone realizes

The power of addiction is secrecy and with some of the logic here, no one struggling with it will be getting help (exposing it to the light) anytime soon

The effect of porn is kin to the same high that a drug will give, it centers on the pleasure center in the brain, it surely is behavioral but at the same time is very addictive

We need to have a comprehensive and sound approach to help recover and restore people with this issue.

Let me say from experience, exposure at an early age and bring a lifetime of warfare. Parents guard you children.

Part of the remedy is something we are implementing called the Life Transformation Group, practical accountability/discipleship

Well said, and may God bless your efforts in this much needed area of ministry, too often things we argue about are simply a smoke screen to avoid the weighter area of needed ministry.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by ILG

True. It might be best to withhold judgement in such matters. I don't really know the answer but wondered about the (I'm sure many and varied) opinions here.

In my opinion, they have the right based on a technicality...that being where Jesus said if you even think about it, you've already done it...however, I don't believe in actuality that He was stating that to be a plausible reason for divorce, but rather that folks need to guard their thoughts, not just their actual behavior.

If you go that far, as to say it gives legal rights for a divorce, then imagining a murder, or maybe even watching one on tv?? would mean a person should go to jail for murder. (Based on that logic)

I don't think that Jesus was saying that at all.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

In my opinion, they have the right based on a technicality...that being where Jesus said if you even think about it, you've already done it...however, I don't believe in actuality that He was stating that to be a plausible reason for divorce, but rather that folks need to guard their thoughts, not just their actual behavior.

If you go that far, as to say it gives legal rights for a divorce, then imagining a murder, or maybe even watching one on tv?? would mean a person should go to jail for murder. (Based on that logic)

I don't think that Jesus was saying that at all.

Well, I think there is a difference between a woman using a man's slip-ups in the area for grounds for divorce after repentance (or maybe even if he still struggles but is trying to overcome)? And a man who blatantly does not care about his wife's opinion in the area. The second case scenario....surely, we cannot expect a woman to live with that.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by ILG

Well, I think there is a difference between a woman using a man's slip-ups in the area for grounds for divorce after repentance (or maybe even if he still struggles but is trying to overcome)? And a man who blatantly does not care about his wife's opinion in the area. The second case scenario....surely, we cannot expect a woman to live with that.

I don't know. If my husband were to persist in such behavior, our computer would be in the trash dumpster. The dsl would be turned off. He'd at least have to do it outside our home, because it certainly isn't going to happen in this house.

I don't know that I would divorce my husband because of such a thing. To me, that would be like saying its alright to divorce your spouse for being a sinner.

[ManOfWord]

Originally Posted by philjones

MOW,

I must ask you this, in what way is pornography different than fornication in a single person or adultery in a married individual? I will almost guarantee you that , at a minimum, fornication (any unclean sexual act) occurs if either a single or married person is addicted to porn. Actually, for the married, adultery in the heart is almost certain to occur when they view porn due to the LUST that is stirred up in them.

I simply cannot see how you can differentiate between these sins and have a different rule to apply.

I don't have time to read all of the previous posts right now, but to respond to this one: I certainly understand that Jesus took the "act" beyond the mere act and referred to the heart. In that respect, there is no difference. However, there is a HUGE difference between pornography and an actual consummated affair. Don't get me wrong. Both are sinful. But I will guarantee you that a wife would much rather have a husband work through and be delivered from a porn addiction than have to work through a relationship with another woman. Both are violations, and technically adultery, but the actual relationship with another woman is far more destructive to the relationship.

I would certainly NEVER condone pornography in ANY situation for ANY reason!

Side Note: Many years ago, while pastoring our first church, I worked a secular job and had an employee working for me who attended another Apostolic church whose "holiness" standards were very strict. This young man confided in me that he was having marital problems. I was not his pastor, but I listened. He was afraid his wife was having an affair. As we talked further, I found out the he and his wife were frequent watchers of porno films......"for their own pleasure and to enhance their marriage." (his words not mine) Truthfully, I have come accross more than one very strict "holiness" couple that have justified pornography for the same reason.

I TOTALLY disagree with that. This leaves a door so wide open that certain destruction of the relationship, I think is inevitable, without deliverance.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

I don't know. If my husband were to persist in such behavior, our computer would be in the trash dumpster. The dsl would be turned off. He'd at least have to do it outside our home, because it certainly isn't going to happen in this house.

I don't know that I would divorce my husband because of such a thing. To me, that would be like saying its alright to divorce your spouse for being a sinner.

Well, I can't fully agree with saying that any sin is the same as sexual sin. I think it might be better to withhold judgement because we have no idea what the woman has had to live with. This isn't to say that people should get divorced and remarried for any reason. Maybe if there has been no live person infidelity that the line should be drawn at divorce for sanity (if need be) but no remarriage.