Needed - A Progressive Apostolic Youth Pastor

[Steve Epley]

Originally Posted by AtlantaBishop

Well............. Praise The Lord Everybody!!!!!!!!!
I said - Praise The Lord Everybody!!!!!!!!!!
I want you to know that I sent my seed off to Reverend Peter Popoff and got me some of that Miracle Healing Water from Chernobyl, Russia that that boy drank after the nuclear disaster and he stayed sane and was not retarded and I drank some of it and rubbed Apostle Don Stewart's Green Prosperity Handkerchief on my head and then got some Blood of Jesus Holy Oil and Wine Oil from Reverend La-Roy (as he likes to pronounce Leroy) Jenkins and I tell you IT HEP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have decided to BAPTIZE BY IMMERSION In the name of Jesus Only and to spend at least ONE HOUR before I baptize anybody - convincing them that Jesus didn't really mean what He said and that the Catholics changed the Bible and Matthew 28:19 might not have even been in the original text and that when you are baptized into the titles - your actually taking on the Mark of the Beast and 666 is stamped into your forehead (mind/brain) and your are doomed for all eternity and you are of the serpent seed if you are not baptized into my pool! I am sure they will be LINED UP to get in my tank!

Glory! Now - I feel better! I am thinking of traveling out to Miracle Valley and standing on AA Allen's grave and trying to get ahold of some of the old ties he wore and pieces of the old tent and some saw dusts and get baptized again out there so I can stop being so MEAN and HATEFUL!
I mean - I stayed up ALL NIGHT - worried about what my web master DID NOT PUT ON MY WEB SITE!!!!!!!!!!!! My web master told me that I have THREE messages on there on WATER BAPTISM and then get accused of baptizing people in the trinity. No offense meant!!!!!!!!!!!!

Y'all Pray Fer me!

WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG???????????????

You forgot a piece of Terrell's shirt and the prayercloth that EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Duncan placed in the footprints of God and the RED string from Faye A. Spenser from loooooooooooooooong Beach California, the white robe from the little flock of Mt. Zion from Palmdale,
and remember the prophet from Baltimore, Md. he would give you are word if not prophet Jimmy Morgan wold certainly have a word for you for a faith offering of $777.77.

[ThePastorsCoach]

Originally Posted by Steve Epley

You forgot a piece of Terrell's shirt and the prayer cloth that EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Duncan placed in the footprints of God and the RED string from Faye A. Spenser from loooooooooooooooong Beach California, the white robe from the little flock of Mt. Zion from Palmdale,
and remember the prophet from Baltimore, Md. he would give you are word if not prophet Jimmy Morgan wold certainly have a word for you for a faith offering of $777.77.

I cannot BELIEVE I forgot that - "That RED STRING is DEATH on that Witchcraft Devil!!!!" - I gotta get one in the window of my new house!
How could I NOT testify about Dr. T. Wayne Parks, Prophet Woody Martin, Thea Jones and what was that guys name with P.O. Box 5022 - Fort LAUDERDALE, FLORIDA??????????? ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just a little Baptist Filled with the Holy Ghost!

I bet I know someone who made a few trips to that Ft. Lauderdale Post Office!!!!!!!!!!!

[BobDylan]

Originally Posted by AtlantaBishop

Well.............. Praise BE!!!!!!!!!!!!! If he comes here - We will make sure we baptize him BY IMMERSION - but I will NOT say - In the name of Jesus Only. I don't baptize using the ONLY part - Is that some OLD tradition to make sure it is not done in the titles???? I don't think the ONLY part is scriptural!!!!!!!!!!!

Have you ever heard of this mode of baptism?

I don't know, but it sure makes it alot easier to tell when your joking around when you use a smiley or two....

Originally Posted by AtlantaBishop

Well.............. Praise BE!!!!!!!!!!!!! If he comes here - We will make sure we baptize him BY IMMERSION - but I will NOT say - In the name of Jesus Only. I don't baptize using the ONLY part - Is that some OLD tradition to make sure it is not done in the titles???? I don't think the ONLY part is scriptural!!!!!!!!!!!

Have you ever heard of this mode of baptism?

Nope. Sorry. I know many Jesus "only," people but I've never heard of using those words in baptism.

Tell Epley to stop picking on my man Terrell. I could listen to that fireball preach 24/7. He can preach more fire down out of heaven in 10 minutes than most can preach down in a year of preaching.

He be m' man.

["GL"]

Wow. What a lack of Christian behavior on this thread...

Unbecoming a minister, IMO..

...and of course there was J Charles and Byron "waiting for your personal prayer request so I can go directly to the throne of grace for your personal miracle and receive your anointed prayer cloth prayed over after 40 days of fasting and prayer on the Isle of Patmost where the Lord appeard to me and transported me to heaven."

Then there was good ol' Rev. Ike promising that you can't lose with the stuff I use.

Let us not forget the guy down in Florida that came on the radio "hoooo ooood the light.... hoooo ooo ooo the the light let it shine for Jesus toooo day. Yessssssss beloved, this is your good radio pastor Daaaaaavid EEEEEEEEEEEEP LLLLLLLLEY. Beloved, been walking the floors all night long with your prayer request in my hand, praying for your need......

Evangelist Gene Ewing with bottles of anointed water from Jordan that are healing thousands....

Hahaha...

But, don't pick on m' man Terrell....

[ThePastorsCoach]

Originally Posted by "GL"

Wow. What a lack of Christian behavior on this thread...
Unbecoming a minister, IMO..

Go away and leave us alone in here - We's habin FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you think THIS is bad - You should meet Juanita Bynum in a hotel parking lot at 5 AM to hash out your differences!

Well... I must say that you ALL are quite a disappointment to me...

I was all gussied up in my Chastizin' for wrong Baptizin' drawers cuz i couldn't believe ya'll was a still hashin' this corned beef!

Lo and Behold, Ya'll ruirnt my day cuz ya'll wuz havin' great delightment an' ejoyin' one another right peaceful!

I guess these heah drawers will hafta save for another whuppin' session!

[ThePastorsCoach]

AWE - I am sorry that I disappointed you! I should have just answered the way he wanted me to and made him happy - but then he would have wanted me to shave and then put on a long sleeve white shirt and then get rid of my TV's then make my wife quit shaving her legs and under her armpits or excuse me - quit cutting her hair, and then get a white wall hair cut and get rid off all my belts with gold or silver look belt buckles and then to make my wife a midwife and have everyone in the church have their babies at home and then get rid of all my RED ties!!!!!!!!

Oh - sorry - I got sidetracked on a RANT - rabbit chasing - Anybody else do that when you PONTIFICATING?????
Oh Well - I am trying to do better - Its these PREACHERS THAT MAKE ME CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jack Shephard]

Originally Posted by AtlantaBishop

AWE - I am sorry that I disappointed you! I should have just answered the way he wanted me to and made him happy - but then he would have wanted me to shave and then put on a long sleeve white shirt and then get rid of my TV's then make my wife quit shaving her legs and under her armpits or excuse me - quit cutting her hair, and then get a white wall hair cut and get rid off all my belts with gold or silver look belt buckles and then to make my wife a midwife and have everyone in the church have their babies at home and then get rid of all my RED ties!!!!!!!!

Oh - sorry - I got sidetracked on a RANT - rabbit chasing - Anybody else do that when you PONTIFICATING?????
Oh Well - I am trying to do better - Its these PREACHERS THAT MAKE ME CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You do not need to apologize. If they don't like what you are saying then they need to GET OVER IT!!!!