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  #291  
Old 05-29-2010, 11:13 AM
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Cindy Cindy is offline
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Re: The Village idioT

Remind me to stay away from y'all. sheesh!!!!!
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If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV

He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8 KJV

Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2 KJV
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  #292  
Old 05-29-2010, 11:50 AM
shag shag is offline
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Re: The Village idioT

Quote:
Originally Posted by *AQuietPlace* View Post
I was once mowing with a riding lawn mower. Forgetting it was there, I ran over an electrical cable. There was a loud *bang* and sparks went flying everywhere when the blade hit the cable.

>>> the brilliant part >>>>>

It startled me and shook me up so much, I jumped off of the mower, grabbed the METAL FRAME and started trying to push the mower off of the cable.Not sure why it didn't occur to me that I could have become a nice crispy critter.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cindy View Post
You ain't right!


QP aint right either!









(of course I can say much ....)
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Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. - Eph. 4:29

Last edited by shag; 05-29-2010 at 11:53 AM.
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  #293  
Old 05-29-2010, 09:32 PM
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Margies3 Margies3 is offline
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Re: The Village idioT

Quote:
Originally Posted by pelathais View Post
I did this wedding once; the bride came in and everybody rose. I completed the whole wedding service and joined them together as man and wife. The recessional started and the newly married couple started to walk down the aisle: That's when it hit me - I had forgotten to invite everyone to sit down again. The entire congregation had stood throughout the entire wedding ceremony.
Pel, when I read this, I burst outloud laughing. That is just too classic!
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  #294  
Old 05-30-2010, 08:56 PM
shag shag is offline
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Re: The Village idioT

This afternoon I was taking my kids for a ride on my sons 125 dirt bike, then I got to playing around on it by myself. I jumped out of the ditch onto the highway about 3x. The third time when I landed, I made the ever so foolish mistake of hitting my FRONT brakes on the pavement. I wiped out and tore a big gash outta my forearm, tore up my left foot and my left side pretty good. Also found out his front brakes grab far better than the brakes on my 250.

I think I need to be holding one of those signs that Jeff Foxworty sings about.




What an idiot!
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If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his heart...
Abraham Lincoln


Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. - Eph. 4:29
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  #295  
Old 05-30-2010, 09:16 PM
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Cindy Cindy is offline
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Re: The Village idioT

Quote:
Originally Posted by shag View Post
This afternoon I was taking my kids for a ride on my sons 125 dirt bike, then I got to playing around on it by myself. I jumped out of the ditch onto the highway about 3x. The third time when I landed, I made the ever so foolish mistake of hitting my FRONT brakes on the pavement. I wiped out and tore a big gash outta my forearm, tore up my left foot and my left side pretty good. Also found out his front brakes grab far better than the brakes on my 250.

I think I need to be holding one of those signs that Jeff Foxworty sings about.




What an idiot!
Ouch!!
__________________
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV

He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8 KJV

Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2 KJV
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  #296  
Old 05-30-2010, 09:50 PM
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Hoovie Hoovie is offline
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Re: The Village idioT

Quote:
Originally Posted by shag View Post
This afternoon I was taking my kids for a ride on my sons 125 dirt bike, then I got to playing around on it by myself. I jumped out of the ditch onto the highway about 3x. The third time when I landed, I made the ever so foolish mistake of hitting my FRONT brakes on the pavement. I wiped out and tore a big gash outta my forearm, tore up my left foot and my left side pretty good. Also found out his front brakes grab far better than the brakes on my 250.

I think I need to be holding one of those signs that Jeff Foxworty sings about.




What an idiot!
Two words...

"Go Here":

http://apostolicfriendsforum.com/sho...ght=motorcycle

That's my not-so-popular motorcycle thread.
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Articles on such subjects as "The New Birth," will be accepted, whether they teach that the new birth takes place before baptism in water and Spirit, or that the new birth consists of baptism of water and Spirit. - THE PENTECOSTAL HERALD Dec. 1945

"It is doubtful if any Trinitarian Pentecostals have ever professed to believe in three gods, and Oneness Pentecostals should not claim that they do." - Daniel Segraves
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  #297  
Old 06-11-2010, 08:55 PM
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Margies3 Margies3 is offline
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Re: The Village idioT

Ok, this is probably not quite as "idiotic" as some of the things posted here, but I sure felt like the village idiot this morning anyway..................

I looked out our kitchen window this morning very early and saw something laying in my neighbor's yard. It was a little bigger than your average large size cat. And had what looked like gray or gray/brown fur. I couldn't tell what it was tho. Or even if it was alive or not.

When one of my daycare families showed up a few minutes later, I asked Wendi if she could tell what that thing was in Jim's yard. She couldn't tell either. So she walked over a little closer. And came back and said to me, "I can't tell what it is, but it has antlers!" What??? Ok, so now Wendi, her son Noah and I all headed out to check it out. We were standing about 5' away from it, still not deciding what it was - or even if was still alive - when a man walking his dog walked over to join us. The dog walked over and sniffed the thing - whatever it was. When it didn't move with the dog checking it out, I decided it must not be living. So I got brave and walked over to it. I bent over to turn it over so we could see what it really was and guess what..........................






































It was somebody's baby deer lawn ornament made out cement, laying on its side!!!!
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  #298  
Old 06-11-2010, 10:15 PM
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Hoovie Hoovie is offline
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Re: The Village idioT

Yep! You are in. What an idioT!?!
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"It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity." Dave Barry 2005

I am a firm believer in the Old Paths

Articles on such subjects as "The New Birth," will be accepted, whether they teach that the new birth takes place before baptism in water and Spirit, or that the new birth consists of baptism of water and Spirit. - THE PENTECOSTAL HERALD Dec. 1945

"It is doubtful if any Trinitarian Pentecostals have ever professed to believe in three gods, and Oneness Pentecostals should not claim that they do." - Daniel Segraves
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  #299  
Old 06-12-2010, 01:34 PM
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Timmy Timmy is offline
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Re: The Village idioT



Reminds me: one day, the dogs were making a big ruckus in the back yard. Went to see what it was, and they had roughed up an opposum! It was sitting there, bleeding, but after a minute or so, it fell over, dead. Poor thing. Well, we didn't want the dogs to keep messing with it, so I scooped it up with a shovel and carried it out the gate. Left it there and called animal control. Well, by the time they came to pick it up, it had disappeared! Well, duh. It was just playing 'possum!

Doh!!
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  #300  
Old 06-13-2010, 04:27 PM
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Fiyahstarter Fiyahstarter is offline
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Re: The Village idioT

Quote:
Originally Posted by Timmy View Post


Reminds me: one day, the dogs were making a big ruckus in the back yard. Went to see what it was, and they had roughed up an opposum! It was sitting there, bleeding, but after a minute or so, it fell over, dead. Poor thing. Well, we didn't want the dogs to keep messing with it, so I scooped it up with a shovel and carried it out the gate. Left it there and called animal control. Well, by the time they came to pick it up, it had disappeared! Well, duh. It was just playing 'possum!

Doh!!
Haha! Good one.

Reminds me of the story my dad used to tell about when he was a kid, he took the family cat and poured gas on its beee-hind. Well that cat took off running, around and around the house it went, about 20 times. Then it just all of a sudden stopped and fell over.

































Was it dead? Nah, it just ran out of gas!!!!!
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