Ron's Cafe!

[Ron]

***Surendering Leadership***

Don’t surrender leadership to:

* outside forces
* faces
* farces
* fences
* frustrations
* fantasies
* fears
* fatigue
* faults
* facts
* frenzies
* fates
* forecasts
* foes
* friends
* fracturing experiences of life
* flattening out experiences of life

Do surrender leadership to faith.

–Robert Schuller-

[berkeley]

[Falla39]

Originally Posted by Ron

Thank you Sis Falla, STS. You both have been a great encouragement to myself.


Rufus and Clarence
==============

There were two old men living in the backwoods of the Ozarks
.... Rufus and Clarence.

They lived on opposite sides of the river, and they hated each
other. Every morning, just after sun-up, Rufus and Clarence
would go down to their respective sides of the river and yell at
each other.

"Rufus!!" Clarence would shout.
"You better thank yor lucky stars I cain't swim .... or I'd swim
this river and whup your behind!!"

"Clarence!!!" Rufus would holler back.
"You better thank YOUR lucky stars that I cain't swim ....
or I'd swim this river and whup your skinny behind!!!"

This happened every morning for twenty years.

One day the Army Corps of Engineers comes along and built a
bridge.

Still, every morning, every day for another five years this
yelling across the river goes on, even with the bridge.

Finally .... Mrs. Rufus had had enough.

"Rufus!" she squallers one day. "I cain't take no more!!
Every day for 25 years you've been threatenin' to whup Clarence.
Well, there's the bridge .... have a go at it."

Rufus thought for a moment.

Chewed his bottom lip for another moment.

"Woman!" he declared, snapping his suspenders into place,
"I'm gonna across that thar bridge and I'm gonna whup Clarence's
behind!!!"

He walked out the door, down to the river, along the riverbank,
came to the bridge, stepped up onto the bridge,
walked about halfway over the bridge, looked up .....

TURNED TAIL AND RAN SCREAMING BACK TO THE HOUSE, SLAMMED THE
DOOR, BOLTED THE WINDOWS, GRABBED THE SHOTGUN AND DOVE, PANTING
AND GASPING, UNDER THE BED!!!!!

"Rufus!" cried the misses.

"I thought you wuz gonna whup Clarence's behind!!!"

"I was, woman, I was!!" he whispered.

"Rufus!" cried the misses. "What in tarnation is the matter?"

"Well," muttered the terror-stricken Rufus, " I went to the
bridge .... I stepped up on the bridge .... walked halfway over
the bridge .... looked up ...."

"And?" asked Mrs. Rufus, breathless with suspense.

"And," continued Rufus, "I saw a sign that said ....
"Clearance, 13 feet, 6 inches" .... he ain't never looked that
big from the other side of the river" !!!

Bro. Ron,

Somehow I missed it but came across it tonight and it struck me

as so funny! Thanks for a good laugh!!

Blessings,

Falla39

[IBCrazier2]

Got any biscuits & gravy?

[Ron]

A Lesson From A Ketchup Bottle
=======================

Isn't it amazing the things God uses to teach us a lesson?
I learned to BE STILL from someone, no something:
a bottle of ketchup.

I banged on the top and the sides. It wasn't plastic so I
couldn't squeeze it or rush it short of poking a knife into the
bottle.

I waited and waited for the slow drip of the red stuff on my
fries. My plate had a lot of fries for that ketchup to cover
and to wait would've taken all day.

I banged on the sides again and the top and shook it for all it
was worth.

I didn't have all day.

Suddenly, it came to me, this is how I
am when I ask God for something.

I have a lot to cover and very little time and even less
patience. God, on the other hand, has all the time in the world
and does things in HIS own time and when HE is ready.

I can shake, squeeze, and bang all I want, but the blessing won't
be poured on in my time but in HIS time.

~ by Jessi Marsiglia, Jenison, MI~

[Ron]

Cough, Hack, Sputter!
I found this in File 13 at the back of the forum.
I think I will dust it off!

Did You Call Me?
=============

God: Hello. Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No... Who is this?

God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers.
So, I thought I will chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good.
I am actually busy now.

God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.
Me: Don't know. But, I can't find free time.
Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.

God: Sure. Activity gets you busy.
Productivity gets you results.
Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand. Yet, I still can't figure out. By the way,
I was not expecting YOU to call me on instant messaging chat

God: I wanted to solve your fight for time, by giving you some
clarity. In this internet era, I wanted to reach you
through the way in which you would understand.

Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis makes it
complicated.

Me: Why are we constantly unhappy?
God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about
yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing.
Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not
happy.

Me: How can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God: Uncertainty is inevitable. Worrying is optional.

Me: There is so much pain due to uncertainty.
God: Pain is inevitable - it will come. Suffering is optional,
you can choose.

Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people also suffer?
God: Diamonds cannot be polished without friction.
Gold cannot be purified without fire.
Good people go through trials, but, don't suffer.
With that experience, their life becomes better,
not bitter.

Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?
God: Yes. Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

Me: Still, why should we go through such tests?
Why can't we be free from problems?
God: Problems are purposeful roadblocks offering beneficial
lessons to develop strength.
Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance,
not when you are free from problems.

Me: Frankly, in the midst of so many problems,
we don't know where we are heading ...
God: If you look outside, you will not know where you are going.
Look inside.
Looking outside, you dream.
Looking inside, you awaken.
Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than
moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God: Success is a measurement decided by others.
Satisfaction is a measurement decided by you.
Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying.
You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.

Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far
you have to go.
Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.

Me: What surprises you about people?
God: When they suffer they ask, "Why me?"
When they prosper, they never ask "Why me?"
Everyone wishes to have truth on their side.
Few want to be on the side of the truth.

Me: Sometimes, I ask, "Who am I? Why am I here?"
I can't get the answer.
God: Seek not to find who you are, but, to determine who you
want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are
here. Create it.
Life is not a process of discovery.
It's a process of creation.

Me: How can I get the best out of life?
God: Face your past without regret.
Handle your present with confidence.
Prepare for the future without fear.

Me: One last question. Sometimes, I feel my prayers are not
answered.
God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times, the answer is
"NO."

Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat.
God: Well, keep the faith and drop the fear.
Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve.

Trust me.

[Ron]

Getting Into Heaven
===============

I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if
they understood the concept of getting to heaven.

I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage
sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me
into Heaven?"

"NO!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept
everything neat and tidy,

would that get me into Heaven?"

Again, the answer was, "NO!"

By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all
the children, and loved my wife, would that get me into
Heaven?"
I asked them again.

Again, they all answered, "NO!"

I was just bursting with pride for them. "Well," I continued,
"then how can I get into Heaven?"

A five-year-old boy shouted out,



"YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!"

[Ron]

Cherokee Legend
=============

Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of
passage?

His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and
leaves him alone.

He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not
remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine
through it.

He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the
night, he is a MAN.

He cannot tell the other boys of this experience because each
lad must come into manhood on his own.

The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of
noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even
some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and
earth and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never
removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could
become a man!

Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he
removed his blindfold. It was then that he discovered his
father sitting on the stump next to him. He had been at watch
the entire night, protecting his son from harm.

We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, our
Heavenly Father is watching over us, sitting on the stump
beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out
to Him.

~Author Unknown~