Ministering To Victims Of Incest.

Originally Posted by Lost

I wonder what Rhoni thinks about that?

I really don't care what she thinks about it (I know what she thinks about it but her thinking is in rebellion against God). But back to the original topic, the Church has surrendered its position as the sole arbiter of truth (under God). Now we allow so-called "science" and wicked worldly philosophies (such as psychology) to dictate truth to us and we accept them as authoritative. This must cease! Since the Church is the sole arbiter of truth (because Jesus is the truth), only the Church has what a victim of incest (or other kinds of abuse) needs in order to experience healing and wholeness.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by TalkLady

Whatever you do, DO NOT personally mention that God is like a Heavenly Father to them. They can't relate to that. You have to be very very gentle to them. It's almost as though they need a Mentor so that they can learn things that others who were not in that type of situation take for granted. They have to learn how to be accepted and they have to learn to trust others. The person who should have been their protector was their violator. The scars from those wounds will always be there for them to see, but the wound itself can be healed. Most of all, be gentle. Gentleness is a fruit of the spirit and should be used often with these people. We have worked with children who were abused by their own fathers, step-fathers, other relatives, mom's boyfriends and even moms themselves. This is a sad, sad situation. Most of all do something in your church to make them feel needed and important. Show them love and never condemn them, for often they blame themselves.

I thought this was good, TL. Sadly, victims are often judged because they are "different" in thinking than others. So, people can reject them and make things worse easily.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Sheltiedad

Licensed counselors are advised to maintain malpractice insurance for liability issues... should preachers who counsel do this as well? And can they get it if they have not actually been formally trained to counsel?

We were always taught to say "This is pastoral advice and not counseling".

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Chan

You mean "formally trained" as in trained to be a practitioner in that wicked worldly philosophy called psychology? There is no place for such abominations in the Church!!!!!! We need to stop trying to conform the Church to this wicked world and stop committing treason against God by acting as if this wicked world was actually our home!

Sigh.

[TalkLady]

You are correct, Malvaro.....I thought of going back to edit my post and take the comment out about not speaking so much personally about the Father. Of course, ministers need to keep mentioning the Father....but I've heard pastors and others who were praying for these type of people make some very inappropriate comments...The intentions were good, but they were totally inappropriate. You are so right about laying hands on others. I had never had hands laid on me for prayer much at all until I was in my 20s and the first time it happened, I did not know what was going on ....For me at times it was a hindrance. I knew the people cared about me, but it kept me from praying as I should. I've had people come to me and shake me, take my hand and ask me to run with them, leap with them, and even dance with them. ......I'm not saying that this type of action is never appropriate, but it can really be confusing to people who were not brought up in this type of church.

Originally Posted by Malvaro

That is assuming that their father was the one who violated them.... it could have as easily been some other family member instead.... I do agree with you though, they could associate the word "Father" with all their hurtful pain and past.... and immediately become soured by their memories against God....

still, one cannot just stop preaching that there is a Heavenly Father that loves us without conditions.... one just has to be careful to successfully rebuild their "father" definition and the associations that come with it.... the same could be said about referencing "the home".... their "home" experience may have been broken by divorce, abuse, addictions, etc and your careless usage of the word "home" may turn them off to what you are saying....

my pastor taught that you should also be careful who you lay hands on to pray for as well.... as you may be praying for an "abused" individual and they may become immediately offended by "touch" due to their past.... when I'm praying for a lady, I will only touch their forehead or the palm of their hand (if their hand is uplifted).... I see some folks touching arms, shoulders, back, etc and just want to smack them right then and there.... some poor soul may be reliving their trauma and never step foot in that church again....

pardon my ramblings....