Divorce and Stress in Children

[BrotherEastman]

BTW Dan, what exactly do you mean by "demonstrative actions" in your first post?

[Rico]

Originally Posted by BrotherEastman

Interesting thread. I am a product of divorce, i really did not get to know my father as much as I wanted to. My mom and step-dad were always moving, so I sure felt the isolation, and did not know what it was like to be stable while growing up. When I was in school, it was hard to make friends, and when I did, it was time to move again. I thought all this was a normal way to live, only to find out that this thinking was wrong. One of my worst fears sometimes is that something may fall apart in my marraige, don't get me wrong I love my wife more than any person in the world, its just that I've been told that statistics don't lie. Based upon these stats, it is said that "I" don't have a chance. I want to be the very best husband and father that God wants me to be. I guess the reason that I went ahead and got married was because, not only did I love my soon to be wife, but I wanted to give faith a chance. Maybe I shared too much, but I thought thats what this thread was about, sorry.

Brother, the statistics on divorce in this country are so misrepresented it isn't even funny. You constantly hear about over 1/2 the marriages failing. Well, that isn't true. It's half of all new marriages. I remember reading somewhere that 1/2 fail within the first two years. This does not mean half of all marriages in this country fail because the stats don't take into account all of the existing marriages.

[tamor]

Originally Posted by Rico

Brother, the statistics on divorce in this country are so misrepresented it isn't even funny. You constantly hear about over 1/2 the marriages failing. Well, that isn't true. It's half of all new marriages. I remember reading somewhere that 1/2 fail within the first two years. This does not mean half of all marriages in this country fail because the stats don't take into account all of the existing marriages.

You are exactly right Rico. We used to have DivorceCare at our church. I can't remember the exact statistics, but with every marriage the stats of divorce rise sharply.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Rico

Brother, the statistics on divorce in this country are so misrepresented it isn't even funny. You constantly hear about over 1/2 the marriages failing. Well, that isn't true. It's half of all new marriages. I remember reading somewhere that 1/2 fail within the first two years. This does not mean half of all marriages in this country fail because the stats don't take into account all of the existing marriages.

I think what you meant to say is first time marriages - not "new" marriages.

New marriages could be a second, third or fourth marriage - just new.

So, divorce isn't 50% of all first times marriages - - divorce is 50% of all marriages- - make sense?

[SDG]

Originally Posted by BrotherEastman

BTW Dan, what exactly do you mean by "demonstrative actions" in your first post?

The first part of my post was from an article ... I've listed the url. I'd imagine the author is saying that we often say we love someone but actions speak louder than words .... Any thoughts ... Easty.... on demonstrations of love???

[Trouvere]

I know of a really nice young man who has made an excellent father.His parents separated and divorced when he was four years old.He and his mom moved in with his grandparents and his grandpa became the man in his life.He loves his dad but realizes that the life he has is better because his dad was not involved.
He is no victim.He is blessed.The life of living with a drug addict and alcoholic father can destroy a person.Thank God for the mothers or fathers who have sense enough to raise their children away from such an enviroment.
The truth is you cannot change someone.If they refuse to change the damage they will do to the children who are subjected to their lifestyle is horrible.
I applaud anyone who stepped out in faith away from such a scene for their
children.You are to be commended.Its not easy to raise children alone but when
its for their best interest its the right thing to do.

[BrotherEastman]

Originally Posted by Daniel Alicea

The first part of my post was from an article ... I've listed the url. I'd imagine the author is saying that we often say we love someone but actions speak louder than words .... Any thoughts ... Easty.... on demonstrations of love???

Well, here are some thoughts. Buy her some flowers when she least expects it. Take her out to dinner on a suprise date. Give her a massage and rub her feet. Do some of the chores that she would normally do. The little foxes that spoil the vine, I see what you were saying now.

[Rico]

Originally Posted by BrotherEastman

Well, here are some thoughts. Buy her some flowers when she least expects it. Take her out to dinner on a suprise date. Give her a massage and rub her feet. Do some of the chores that she would normally do. The little foxes that spoil the vine, I see what you were saying now.

I show Sis Honey Smooches how much I love her by letting her cook me up some good food! (And wash my clothes, and clean up after me)

[GodsBabyGirl]

Originally Posted by Trouvere

I know of a really nice young man who has made an excellent father.His parents separated and divorced when he was four years old.He and his mom moved in with his grandparents and his grandpa became the man in his life.He loves his dad but realizes that the life he has is better because his dad was not involved.
He is no victim.He is blessed.The life of living with a drug addict and alcoholic father can destroy a person.Thank God for the mothers or fathers who have sense enough to raise their children away from such an enviroment.
The truth is you cannot change someone.If they refuse to change the damage they will do to the children who are subjected to their lifestyle is horrible.
I applaud anyone who stepped out in faith away from such a scene for their
children.You are to be commended.Its not easy to raise children alone but when
its for their best interest its the right thing to do.

Amen and amen!

[GodsBabyGirl]

I believe that is why we have so many dysfunctional people around today. The generation before us stayed together, no matter what.

Daddy could be sleeping with the daughter. Or son.

Or mama could have.

Drugs or alcohol could have been involved.

I believe it is more stressful to try and cover up stuff and put on this show that everything is a-okay when it is not.

And domestic violence? You know back in the day, men beat up their women like it was nothing.

What does the scripture say...'If the unbelieving departs, let him. God has called us to peace...'