Youth Ministry Ethics Question - Page 3

kingdomapostle · #21 06-14-2011, 12:27 PM

Well, please forgive me. I read into your post a tone that you did not intend.

I have disagreed when it involved a Pastor too. All should be held to this standard.

Praxeas · #22 06-14-2011, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LifeGuide

Here is the scenario. A 30 year old volunteer on the youth team falls into an inappropriate consensual relationship with a 19 yr. old college student in your student ministry that lasts approx a year and a half. According to state law, even though the relationship was consensual and the youth was of legal age, the 30 yr. old has abused their authority and committed sexual battery. The legal age thing does not apply. No remorse from the 30 yr. old. The first obvious step was to remove this person from their leadership role. But now, they are upset that they are to stay away from all things YM. They left the church somewhat dramatically 6 months ago. Many in the congregation are unaware of the gravity of their departure. And now they have shown back up, wanting to attend YM events. I believe that Grace and forgiveness have been extended. That being said, this is a line you cannot cross. The wound has been re-opened and the best scenario for everyone involved is for this individual to

First of all I'm dubious as to the illegality of this act. I can understand the church having a ethical clause that prevents a worker from dating or having a relationship with a college student.,

Colleges have similar ethics rules. But as far as it being against the law? I find that hard to believe

Was it a sexual relationship?

Did the person show back up to church and demand to be part of the YM? Or did this person attend church for a while then ask to be let back in?

If the former, I'd say this person is not the kind of material you want for a youth worker. Grace has nothing to do with it. It's his personality/character type

If the latter and he has shown he wants to serve the Lord and has shown he is there to be a part of the church for a few months,then I could see allowing that person to be a part of the group again

Praxeas · #23 06-14-2011, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LifeGuide

I appreciate your sincere and honest responses. To answer a couple of your questions; The student ministry is an umbrella that covers jr, sr. and college aged young people. Young people are encouraged to serve in various capacities (media, music, outreach, etc.). "They" most definitely did not get married. And although it shouldn't make a difference. The assumption that the adult is a man and that the 19 yr. old is a female is a wrong one. There is ample evidence that more indiscretions took place such as the use of alcohol. I've been in contact with some youth ministry professionals who have made suggestions such as; inform the authorities, send a letter to every parent informing them of the situation and the way the situation was handled, and it's been suggested to get the adult as far away from the church as possible (ask them to leave). I personally don't like any of these. My hope was that this woman would find a new place to attend where she could find help and move forward.

They are both adults. If they were both volunteer workers then they both were unethical/immoral (Im assuming)

Praxeas · #24 06-14-2011, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cindy

Sounds like this person is a sexual predator. Anyone in an authority position that uses that position to develop a sexual relationship is wrong and in some states criminal.

We are assuming this person used their position to develop a sexual relationship. Both persons are adults. We are assuming the 19 year old was as dumb as rocks and easily manipulated and not rather was a willing partner.

Truthseeker · #25 06-14-2011, 04:20 PM

Let him attend with no involvement with YM, if truely repentant he will understand why. If he causes any more problems publically rebuke him so all in the church will be aware and avoid him.

Praxeas · #26 06-14-2011, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Truthseeker

Let him attend with no involvement with YM, if truely repentant he will understand why. If he causes any more problems publically rebuke him so all in the church will be aware and avoid him.

And if truly repentant, he will submit to his elders instead of run away

OneAccord · #27 06-14-2011, 04:26 PM

I agree. Prax, a 19 year old student should be held accountable for their actions as well.

Truthseeker · #28 06-14-2011, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Praxeas

And if truly repentant, he will submit to his elders instead of run away

exactly.

Truthseeker · #29 06-14-2011, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OneAccord

I agree. Prax, a 19 year old student should be held accountable for their actions as well.

yep.

Pragmatist · #30 06-14-2011, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Praxeas

First of all I'm dubious as to the illegality of this act. I can understand the church having a ethical clause that prevents a worker from dating or having a relationship with a college student.,

Colleges have similar ethics rules. But as far as it being against the law? I find that hard to believe.

I don't doubt that it is against the law. If the person is in a position of leadership and the other is considered a youth then it is abuse of authority.

If both were leaders despite the age difference that is different.

I don't know the state (or really care for that matter) but I am familiar with similar laws.