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Deep Waters 'Deep Calleth Unto Deep ' -The place to go for Ministry discussions. Please keep it civil. Remember to discuss the issues, not each other.


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  #21  
Old 05-10-2007, 09:29 AM
Brother Strange
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Granny_________, in our home church was a wonderful saint of the Lord whom we all loved and considered her just another one of our Moms. Granny was very tall, slinder and had snake hips. I always loved to see her get happy. She would just shuffle her feet across the floor waving her arms in a way that it was so joyous to watch. It always got my attention which blessed me seeing her blessed with the glory of the Lord upon her. Granny never let anything bother her at all.

On one such occasion her panties fell down around her shuffling ankles. No problem. Granny just steped out of them, picked them up, put them in her purse and kept right on shuffling, waving her arms.

Shocked, I pondered that for a few minutes. But then, a little chuckled swelled up in me. Soon, the little churckled turned into a river. I laughed so hard that night until I almost rolled over dead. I've laughed so hard for so many times each time I think of the loving simplicity of this precious saint.
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  #22  
Old 05-10-2007, 09:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Strange View Post
Granny_________, in our home church was a wonderful saint of the Lord whom we all loved and considered her just another one of our Moms. Granny was very tall, slinder and had snake hips. I always loved to see her get happy. She would just shuffle her feet across the floor waving her arms in a way that it was so joyous to watch. It always got my attention which blessed me seeing her blessed with the glory of the Lord upon her. Granny never let anything bother her at all.

On one such occasion her panties fell down around her shuffling ankles. No problem. Granny just steped out of them, picked them up, put them in her purse and kept right on shuffling, waving her arms.

Shocked, I pondered that for a few minutes. But then, a little chuckled swelled up in me. Soon, the little churckled turned into a river. I laughed so hard that night until I almost rolled over dead. I've laughed so hard for so many times each time I think of the loving simplicity of this precious saint.
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  #23  
Old 05-10-2007, 04:18 PM
aquestioninggirl
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We had a preacher that came through out part of the country that preached for us who pulled up his pants with his elbos every few seconds while he preached.

I wuz deep in sin (hack) (pull up pants with elbos) my feet wuz in the deep miry clay (hack) (pull up pants with elbos) but He lifted me up (hack) (pull up pants with elbows) set my feet upon (hack) (pull up pants with elbos) the solid rock to stay (hack) (pull up pants with elbos).

You get the picture.

After he left all of us kids started pulling up our pants with out elbos. Some of the men in the church would get up and testify, "I was lost in this world without God (hack) (pull up pants with elbos)....

'Til this day, when I try to imitate him, I can still do a pretty good job of pulling up my pants with my elbos. Never did get the hack though...

My Choir Director in High School did that so I know exactly what you are talking about!!! LOL!!
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  #24  
Old 05-10-2007, 07:15 PM
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One of the funniest stories I ever heard came from a Pastor friend of mine who called me after it happened.

It seemed a young couple had a small boy who thought he HAD to have not one, but TWO pacifiers at all times. He would put one in his mouth and hold the other in his hand. If he ever lost EITHER of them, he would scream and cry and throw a temper tantrum.

During the service one night, the boy misplaced one of his pacifiers. The pastor was watching from the platform as mom and dad both searched diligently for the missing pacifier. They were having "high church" that night, and the dad finally decided to give up and join in the shockamoo with the rest of the crowd. He jumped up and began dancing around. His wife kept tugging at his sleeve, only to have him keep trying to wave her off. Finally, he looked down to see what she wanted and she pointed up at his backside. It seems he had been setting on the missing pacifier and it was now stuck in a most inappropriate place. It had been dangling around as he jumped and shouted.

This kind of gives new meaning to "pulling the plug."
I can't believe THIS story was ignored. I still think it is one of the funniest I've ever heard.
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  #25  
Old 05-10-2007, 08:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Kansas Preacher View Post
I can't believe THIS story was ignored. I still think it is one of the funniest I've ever heard.
Brother, just because no one took the time to comment, doesn't mean it was ignored. It was funny. I agree. But what to say? I dunno. Don't take it personally.
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  #26  
Old 05-10-2007, 08:50 PM
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Emma Bontrager Emma Bontrager is offline
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We have a woman who always comes to church with her covering strings untied. Shameless.
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  #27  
Old 05-10-2007, 08:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Kansas Preacher View Post
I can't believe THIS story was ignored. I still think it is one of the funniest I've ever heard.
sorry, i read it and laughed out loud but work got in the way today!
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  #28  
Old 05-10-2007, 09:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Kansas Preacher View Post
I can't believe THIS story was ignored. I still think it is one of the funniest I've ever heard.
Actually, I know a chick about 45 or so that would have LOVED to be the girl in that story!

we had an evangelist who sings country really well. He would give a mini conert before preaching (which was really good)

anyway, this chick acted like he was Elvis and she was 14. I thought she was gonna rip off her neer do wells and toss them on the platform!

Mind you she is at least 45. we had a guy come to church who is not quite 30. The pastor introduced him and said he was single. this chick acted like she just won the lottery! LOL!
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  #29  
Old 05-10-2007, 09:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kansas Preacher View Post
One of the funniest stories I ever heard came from a Pastor friend of mine who called me after it happened.

It seemed a young couple had a small boy who thought he HAD to have not one, but TWO pacifiers at all times. He would put one in his mouth and hold the other in his hand. If he ever lost EITHER of them, he would scream and cry and throw a temper tantrum.

During the service one night, the boy misplaced one of his pacifiers. The pastor was watching from the platform as mom and dad both searched diligently for the missing pacifier. They were having "high church" that night, and the dad finally decided to give up and join in the shockamoo with the rest of the crowd. He jumped up and began dancing around. His wife kept tugging at his sleeve, only to have him keep trying to wave her off. Finally, he looked down to see what she wanted and she pointed up at his backside. It seems he had been setting on the missing pacifier and it was now stuck in a most inappropriate place. It had been dangling around as he jumped and shouted.

This kind of gives new meaning to "pulling the plug."
That is priceless. I can't believe after your two great stories you could be against video taping church services. To have these things immortalized for all to enjoy through the ages would be great!
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  #30  
Old 05-11-2007, 10:55 PM
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bump. come one I want stories!
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