Are you a victim or a survivor?

[MrsMcD]

I have never been a victim.

I will not allow anyone to ever hurt my family again, as long as it is in my power to prevent it... whether it be a person alive or dead, an organization, or a culture and I will do anything I deem necessary to keep it from happening to other people as well... if that makes me a victim, then so be it.

[RevDWW]

Here is the proper response to ill treatment:
Joesph speaking to his brothers.
Genesis 50:20 - 21 (KJV) 20 But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.
21 Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them.

It's not enough to just forgive.............

[Michlow]

Originally Posted by Malvaro

With all the "I've been hurt by (fill in the blank)" and "sheep-bashing pastors/preachers" threads that are all so prevalent on AFF.... I thought I'd ask the question that few are bold enough to ask around here....


A victim is never able to get over their anger and bitterness, thus God is never able to bind up their wounds because of their unwillingness to let go, and spend the rest of their days thinking of themselves as a victim and martyr in life....


A survivor gets over their anger and bitterness, seeks God to bind up their wounds and hurts, and looks for any positives that have helped them become a better person through their bad experience(s)....


Face it! Everyone here on AFF has been hurt by someone during their lifetime!

So are you a victim or a survivor????

Sigh....I feel like a broken record here. But we will try this one more time....

Healing takes time. These people, these "victims" as you call them, are in the PROCESS of "gets over their anger and bitterness, seeks God to bind up their wounds and hurts, and looks for any positives that have helped them become a better person through their bad experience(s)...."

If some of you would spend more time trying to help them do that, rather than telling them to "get over it" maybe you would actually accomplish something.

[RevDWW]

Originally Posted by Michlow

Sigh....I feel like a broken record here. But we will try this one more time....

Healing takes time. These people, these "victims" as you call them, are in the PROCESS of "gets over their anger and bitterness, seeks God to bind up their wounds and hurts, and looks for any positives that have helped them become a better person through their bad experience(s)...."

If some of you would spend more time trying to help them do that, rather than telling them to "get over it" maybe you would actually accomplish something.

Could it be these are those robbed and beaten and in need of a good Samaritan?

[Michlow]

Originally Posted by RevDWW

Could it be these are those robbed and beaten and in need of a good Samaritan?

Definately! Or as I stated elsewhere, people who are "born" into an abusive environment have a much more difficult time in moving on, because they were taught a twisted and distorted view of what's normal and healthy. So they tend to view their experience as a reflection of God, Spiritual authority, and believers.

[Michlow]

I wanted to add to, that rather than saying "I've been hurt too. This is how I felt. This is what God did to minister to me. This is how the Word ministered to me. This is what helped me move on. This is what I learned from the whole situation, and how I apply that learning to my life as a whole.

We have a whole lot of: "I was hurt, I got over it, so what's YOUR problem? Quit your whining!"

[Malvaro]

Originally Posted by Sheltiedad

I will not allow anyone to ever hurt my family again, as long as it is in my power to prevent it... whether it be a person alive or dead, an organization, or a culture and I will do anything I deem necessary to keep it from happening to other people as well... if that makes me a victim, then so be it.

what’s to say that you won't do or say something that might hurt the feelings of one of your family members as well.... an "isolationist" mentality from everyone around you can't be successful 100% of the time.... you're just depriving you and your family of many "good friendships" just for the increased chance that no-one will "hurt you" again....

it interesting how we'll continue to go to work - with people that can be cross, mean and hurtful.... utilize doctors/lawyers/bankers/business professions - who occasionally mistakes that could hurt our families' health/finances/etc.... let our children go to schools - where some kids are bullies, teachers can be bias in teaching methods, etc etc.... the list goes on and on in regards to day-to-day "human contact" we're in the middle of.... then we skip out on being apart of a "church family" that can actually help us with matters regarding eternal importance.... doesn't this seem odd to anyone else???

Why don't we all quit our jobs, not talk with anyone that may have the potential to "hurt us", buy stockpiles of food and water, buy gas generators to power our homes, buy guns to protect ourselves and barricade ourselves inside of our homes? Does anyone else hear those black helicopters overhead?

Sounds a bit ridiculous, doesn't it? Then why is the local church suddenly the scapegoat for all of our "been wronged" problems??? We'll remember every-time a saint speaks hurtful words or a preacher seemingly steps on our toes, but won't blink an eye if a person flips us off in traffic or a co-worker lies about us behind our backs?

It's not realistic to isolate the church as the only source of our pain and hurt in life.... anywhere there are people, there are problems.... and where there are problems, there is pain incurred, whether intentional or not....

Be a survivor!!!

[MrsMcD]

Originally Posted by Malvaro

what’s to say that you won't do or say something that might hurt the feelings of one of your family members as well.... an "isolationist" mentality from everyone around you can't be successful 100% of the time.... you're just depriving you and your family of many "good friendships" just for the increased chance that no-one will "hurt you" again....

it interesting how we'll continue to go to work - with people that can be cross, mean and hurtful.... utilize doctors/lawyers/bankers/business professions - who occasionally mistakes that could hurt our families' health/finances/etc.... let our children go to schools - where some kids are bullies, teachers can be bias in teaching methods, etc etc.... the list goes on and on in regards to day-to-day "human contact" we're in the middle of.... then we skip out on being apart of a "church family" that can actually help us with matters regarding eternal importance.... doesn't this seem odd to anyone else???

Why don't we all quit our jobs, not talk with anyone that may have the potential to "hurt us", buy stockpiles of food and water, buy gas generators to power our homes, buy guns to protect ourselves and barricade ourselves inside of our homes? Does anyone else hear those black helicopters overhead?

Sounds a bit ridiculous, doesn't it? Then why is the local church suddenly the scapegoat for all of our "been wronged" problems??? We'll remember every-time a saint speaks hurtful words or a preacher seemingly steps on our toes, but won't blink an eye if a person flips us off during in traffic or a co-worker lies about us behind our backs?

It's not realistic to isolate the church as the only source of our pain and hurt in life.... anywhere there are people, there are problems.... and where there are problems, there is pain incurred, whether intentional or not....

Be a survivor!!!

Great Post!

[Michlow]

Originally Posted by Malvaro

what’s to say that you won't do or say something that might hurt the feelings of one of your family members as well.... an "isolationist" mentality from everyone around you can't be successful 100% of the time.... you're just depriving you and your family of many "good friendships" just for the increased chance that no-one will "hurt you" again....

it interesting how we'll continue to go to work - with people that can be cross, mean and hurtful.... utilize doctors/lawyers/bankers/business professions - who occasionally mistakes that could hurt our families' health/finances/etc.... let our children go to schools - where some kids are bullies, teachers can be bias in teaching methods, etc etc.... the list goes on and on in regards to day-to-day "human contact" we're in the middle of.... then we skip out on being apart of a "church family" that can actually help us with matters regarding eternal importance.... doesn't this seem odd to anyone else???

Why don't we all quit our jobs, not talk with anyone that may have the potential to "hurt us", buy stockpiles of food and water, buy gas generators to power our homes, buy guns to protect ourselves and barricade ourselves inside of our homes? Does anyone else hear those black helicopters overhead?

Sounds a bit ridiculous, doesn't it? Then why is the local church suddenly the scapegoat for all of our "been wronged" problems??? We'll remember every-time a saint speaks hurtful words or a preacher seemingly steps on our toes, but won't blink an eye if a person flips us off during in traffic or a co-worker lies about us behind our backs?

It's not realistic to isolate the church as the only source of our pain and hurt in life.... anywhere there are people, there are problems.... and where there are problems, there is pain incurred, whether intentional or not....

Be a survivor!!!

But when the person doing the abuse teaches your naive impressionable mind that the right to inflict such pain and abuse is given to them by God, and if you question that right you will go to hell, and if you leave to attend a different church, you will go to hell, well, its not that easy.