We haven't talked since it happened and I am thinking that I maybe should go visit him.
I'm just at a loss for words as to what we could possibly talk about.
Maybe that's the Lord telling you that you should go visit. Maybe you can be a friend and just listen or encourage some form of counseling. Maybe... you will learn even more from the experience to aid you in future situations.
My friend called me at work-- TODAY, about 15 minutes ago!
I haven't seen or heard from him in almost 2 years!
He is STILL in jail-- no bond hearing, no trial date!!!
I don't understand how this can happen.
That guarantee of a speedy trial? Fuggetaboutit!
He called me today to bluntly ask me for help. His blood relatives are in NY, he doesn't know where his wife, 2nd son, and youngest daughter are. His oldest son visited him once about 4 months ago.
He asked if I would help him and I told him I would. I am going to try to visit him this weekend-- definitely within the next 7 days.
Please pray for my friend and pray for me so that I can be a real friend to him.
His name is Rafael.
Will be praying for you both.
__________________
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8 KJV
Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2 KJV
Jermyn, the counselors have told us that when something like this happens, those of us on the outside (those not directly involved) will also go thru all the stages of grief just like the people directly involved will.
I would however do some checking on the case. it doesnt sound right that there was no bond hearing and he has been in jail for two years without a trial.
there has to be more to the story.
But, Like you I would help him.
__________________ If I do something stupid blame the Lortab!
A Christian man, taking medications and very highly intoxicated, attempted to kill his wife and one of his sons.
He initially pulled the trigger on his wife and the gun didn't fire.
His son tried to wrestle the gun out of his hands and failed. The father pointed the gun and shot his son, grazing the side of his son's head.
Now this guy who did all of these terrible things, did them in front of his 7 year old daughter.
You have been a friend of this family for awhile. You're familiar with the struggles that lead up to these sad events.
Now that your friend is in jail, do you go and visit him?
If yes, what do you say? What do you talk about?
If no, well, is that the way to treat a friend?
I'm troubled by the whole situation-- especially since I warned them both on separate occasions, more than once, that they should divorce for their own safety. I really don't know how I am supposed to relate to them any more, or if I even should.
Am I also his pastor? If he has a pastor, and since I am in the ministry, I would first talk to his pastor and let his pastor know that I want to visit him, but am not trying to overstep my bounds and am not doing so in a pastoral sense, but just as a friend.
Secondly, absolutely you minister, which means visit. Before I am his friend, I am an ambassador of the kingdom of God believing that short of his outright refusal of Jesus, there's always hope for repentance, and restoration. But I would also be a friend and a minister to the whole family... and bathe the entire situation and my small part in it with prayer and fasting, so that in the end, I'm hidden behind the cross and the help of the Lord is all they see.
I am glad I skimmed through the whole thread before posting! I didn't realize at first that this was a two year old thread.
It is a very difficult situation. I can only tell you my philosophy in these matters. I think a friend is always a friend within certain limitations.
In this case I would visit or at least communicate with the man letting him know that you are praying for him and if you can help make his life more comfortable by mailing him magazines,etc if he can receive them.
I would not let this man in my home or around my family as a safety precaution and would have no problem letting him know that.
Every person deserves a fair t rial and I have to believe that there is more to the story than he is telling you. I can't imagine why he would be in jail for two years before this went to trial UNLESS he has been undergoing treatment during this time to bring him to a condition where he will be fit for trial or some other reason. I was the jury foreman on a murde trial where the defendant was not brought to trial for two or more years after the crime because they were trying different medications to get her sane enough to be in court. I doubt he has just been forgotten.
Only you can decide if you want to champion this man's cause. Personally I have told my children since they were young that if they do a crime I am not going to do anything to help them avoid doing the time. I told them I would still love them and visit them in jail or prison but there is a price to pay for doing wrong. I have never understood parents who try to get their kids out of just punishment. Same thing would apply to friends.
__________________ "I think some people love spiritual bondage just the way some people love physical bondage. It makes them feel secure. In the end though it is not healthy for the one who is lost over it or the one who is lives under the oppression even if by their own choice"
Titus2woman on AFF
"We did not wear uniforms. The lady workers dressed in the current fashions of the day, ...silks...satins...jewels or whatever they happened to possess. They were very smartly turned out, so that they made an impressive appearance on the streets where a large part of our work was conducted in the early years.
"It was not until long after, when former Holiness preachers had become part of us, that strict plainness of dress began to be taught.
"Although Entire Sanctification was preached at the beginning of the Movement, it was from a Wesleyan viewpoint, and had in it very little of the later Holiness Movement characteristics. Nothing was ever said about apparel, for everyone was so taken up with the Lord that mode of dress seemingly never occurred to any of us."
Quote from Ethel Goss (widow of 1st UPC Gen Supt. Howard Goss) book "The Winds of God"
Only you can decide if you want to champion this man's cause. Personally I have told my children since they were young that if they do a crime I am not going to do anything to help them avoid doing the time. I told them I would still love them and visit them in jail or prison but there is a price to pay for doing wrong. I have never understood parents who try to get their kids out of just punishment. Same thing would apply to friends.
CC1, if you skimmed thru this thread, you might have stumbled across the post about the man from our church who is now in prison for molesting two little girls. I wanted to share with you - I have been so impressed with his parents thru this whole thing. They have been there for him. They have visited, they've offered to put money in his account so he could get the things he needs, they encouraged others to write encouraging notes to him, etc. But they have made it absolutely clear that they are NOT there to get him out of prison or even to get his sentence reduced. They've told him and everyone else that he did the crime and he has to pay the price for it. He understands that. But they have prayed with him and for him (as have lots of us!) and Bob is now involved and leading Bible studies in his prison. He's gone thru as much counseling as the prisons offer (which unfortunately is nowhere near what it should be!).
I have to tell you tho - what you've told your kids is right on. But (God forbid) you should ever be in a position to have to follow thru, I can tell you from being involved with my friend's thru this, that that will be the HARDEST thing you will ever have to do.
__________________
Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of a battle ! ! ! !
CC1, if you skimmed thru this thread, you might have stumbled across the post about the man from our church who is now in prison for molesting two little girls. I wanted to share with you - I have been so impressed with his parents thru this whole thing. They have been there for him. They have visited, they've offered to put money in his account so he could get the things he needs, they encouraged others to write encouraging notes to him, etc. But they have made it absolutely clear that they are NOT there to get him out of prison or even to get his sentence reduced. They've told him and everyone else that he did the crime and he has to pay the price for it. He understands that. But they have prayed with him and for him (as have lots of us!) and Bob is now involved and leading Bible studies in his prison. He's gone thru as much counseling as the prisons offer (which unfortunately is nowhere near what it should be!).
I have to tell you tho - what you've told your kids is right on. But (God forbid) you should ever be in a position to have to follow thru, I can tell you from being involved with my friend's thru this, that that will be the HARDEST thing you will ever have to do.
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