How do you help your children...

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by pelathais

I used to "teach them how to pray" by dangling them out over the edge of hotel balconies with a Blanket on their heads. Then, some other guy did that with his kid and it wasn't cool anymore.

Well, In my opinion, children are a product of nature verses nurture. Influences in a child's life are many but for Apostolics there are major ones: the community of family/parents, grandparents, the community of church, and the community of school peers and educators.

God puts life and basic personality into children and parents either nurture the image of God in them, or they destroy the image of God in them. The church either abuses and controls or it affirms and grows them up into mature christians.

Parents have the formative years to instill honor for God, country, & family, or not. the church influence should have a backseat to the teachings of the home especially when parents are of the household of faith. If parents and church do the job God intended then the world/school/peers will have little to no lasting influence.

Since no parent gets a trial run, and some have no godly example of how to be a good and effective parent...many have to rely on the mercy and grace of God to override destructive parenting, spiritual abuse, and societal influence.

If you ask me how I helped my children personally: I prayed with them and for them, fasted with them & for them, taught them the word of God at home after what was taught at church and referred them to scripture and not traditions of man. I taught them kindness, sharing, manners, hygiene, and how to be the best they could be. I let them make decisions for themselves when they were old enough whether I agreed with them or not. I have always been supportive and wanted better for them than they want for themselves.

My daughter thinks I am not proud of her because she chose a road that I would never have chosen for her, but she is full of promise and purpose and God will honor her for doing the best she could with what she has to work with. She is a good mother and friend to many. She loves God and that will see her through.

My son likes to think he is most like his father but he is only like his father in height. He is industrious, intelligent, and a good provider for his family. He thinks he will do a better job in his marriage than his parents did...and he may but only if God is who He is following and not just to prove a point.

I raised them the best I could in the wisdom and knowledge I had. I wasn't the best Mom, but I was a good one. I trust God that He cannot lie and he has to do as He promised:

1. He promised if I trained them up in the way they should go - when they are old they will not depart from it.

2. He promised that He would restore to me the years the moth & cankerworm have eaten up.

From my youth I have loved and lived for God. I was not always faithful, but God has been. There is no one who loves my children and grandchildren more than I do. They know this deep in their heart and one day they will do as God has told them to do...honor their parents. This is the ONLY commandment with a built in PROMISE. The promise is a long life to those who honor their parents.

The difficult thing is this: Whatever they sow - they will reap in their own children no matter how much time, energy, & money they put into them.

Blessings, Rhoni

[ForeverBlessed]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

Well, In my opinion, children are a product of nature verses nurture. Influences in a child's life are many but for Apostolics there are major ones: the community of family/parents, grandparents, the community of church, and the community of school peers and educators.

God puts life and basic personality into children and parents either nurture the image of God in them, or they destroy the image of God in them. The church either abuses and controls or it affirms and grows them up into mature christians.

Parents have the formative years to instill honor for God, country, & family, or not. the church influence should have a backseat to the teachings of the home especially when parents are of the household of faith. If parents and church do the job God intended then the world/school/peers will have little to no lasting influence.

Since no parent gets a trial run, and some have no godly example of how to be a good and effective parent...many have to rely on the mercy and grace of God to override destructive parenting, spiritual abuse, and societal influence.

If you ask me how I helped my children personally: I prayed with them and for them, fasted with them & for them, taught them the word of God at home after what was taught at church and referred them to scripture and not traditions of man. I taught them kindness, sharing, manners, hygiene, and how to be the best they could be. I let them make decisions for themselves when they were old enough whether I agreed with them or not. I have always been supportive and wanted better for them than they want for themselves.

My daughter thinks I am not proud of her because she chose a road that I would never have chosen for her, but she is full of promise and purpose and God will honor her for doing the best she could with what she has to work with. She is a good mother and friend to many. She loves God and that will see her through.

My son likes to think he is most like his father but he is only like his father in height. He is industrious, intelligent, and a good provider for his family. He thinks he will do a better job in his marriage than his parents did...and he may but only if God is who He is following and not just to prove a point.

I raised them the best I could in the wisdom and knowledge I had. I wasn't the best Mom, but I was a good one. I trust God that He cannot lie and he has to do as He promised:

1. He promised if I trained them up in the way they should go - when they are old they will not depart from it.

2. He promised that He would restore to me the years the moth & cankerworm have eaten up.

From my youth I have loved and lived for God. I was not always faithful, but God has been. There is no one who loves my children and grandchildren more than I do. They know this deep in their heart and one day they will do as God has told them to do...honor their parents. This is the ONLY commandment with a built in PROMISE. The promise is a long life to those who honor their parents.

The difficult thing is this: Whatever they sow - they will reap in their own children no matter how much time, energy, & money they put into them.

Blessings, Rhoni

Great post Rhoni.

as for the bolded part... Amen!! I have gone through some things with mine that I am reminded of my teenage ways. I keep praying... Lord, let them not be as stubborn as I was... I wouldn't listen to anything. lol

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Oh, my goodness!!! That's hysterical.

OH MY GOSH! He breaks up with the new girl and is back with his EX!! Well, sort of back, she is telling him he has to prove himself. You go girl!!!!

[*AQuietPlace*]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

OH MY GOSH! He breaks up with the new girl and is back with his EX!! Well, sort of back, she is telling him he has to prove himself. You go girl!!!!

Good for her! (and roller coaster for you!!)

[ForeverBlessed]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

OH MY GOSH! He breaks up with the new girl and is back with his EX!! Well, sort of back, she is telling him he has to prove himself. You go girl!!!!

You think you got it bad with drama with your son. You would not even believe what I am going through with my youngest. I constantly have a house full of boys. I was sitting at the table the other night talking with two young men… I look up at one point and thought… I always wanted boys, well I have them. They are so more than willing to fix anything; I don’t even have to ask. Gaining brownie points they are…lol

On my kitchen table right now is three beautiful bouquets of flowers, lilies and on my desk at work is yet another basket of daisies. All from the same guy, he has it bad. I told him he was trying way too hard. She went to Washington to see him deploy to Afghanistan last month. He is a fine young man who discusses scriptures with me by email throughout the day. (he is the one I might like to see her end up with)

I get more texts, emails and calls from these young men…didn’t you know I have a counseling degree... For some reason they seem to think that I might have some means of persuading her. I get caught up in all this drama, the jealousy fits; you name it… last week I told her I was through. Stop the madness… enough already.

And that is only the activity of my youngest. With the other two, I just do a lot of fasting and praying as they are over 18 now… I thought the oldest was gonna kill me… nah, nothing like the baby.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by *AQuietPlace*

Good for her! (and roller coaster for you!!)

Yep! Good for her!!!

My husband said, "I sure wouldn't let him come waltzing back in!"



I said, "Baby, are you getting in touch with your feminine side?!!!"

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by ForeverBlessed

You think you got it bad with drama with your son. You would not even believe what I am going through with my youngest. I constantly have a house full of boys. I was sitting at the table the other night talking with two young men… I look up at one point and thought… I always wanted boys, well I have them. They are so more than willing to fix anything; I don’t even have to ask. Gaining brownie points they are…lol

On my kitchen table right now is three beautiful bouquets of flowers, lilies and on my desk at work is yet another basket of daisies. All from the same guy, he has it bad. I told him he was trying way too hard. She went to Washington to see him deploy to Afghanistan last month. He is a fine young man who discusses scriptures with me by email throughout the day. (he is the one I might like to see her end up with)

I get more texts, emails and calls from these young men…didn’t you know I have a counseling degree... For some reason they seem to think that I might have some means of persuading her. I get caught up in all this drama, the jealousy fits; you name it… last week I told her I was through. Stop the madness… enough already.

And that is only the activity of my youngest. With the other two, I just do a lot of fasting and praying as they are over 18 now… I thought the oldest was gonna kill me… nah, nothing like the baby.

I'm just thankful that he is, normally, a one woman man! There is no way I could put up with that many women vying for him!!!

He gets enough of that from waitresses when we go out and eat! Then he runs by the bank to make a deposit and the teller puts her phone number in his envelope!!!! Lord, I wanted to call the bank!!!!!

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by ForeverBlessed

Great post Rhoni.

as for the bolded part... Amen!! I have gone through some things with mine that I am reminded of my teenage ways. I keep praying... Lord, let them not be as stubborn as I was... I wouldn't listen to anything. lol

Dear FB,

For the most part I was a sincere stayed out of trouble and served God kind of teenager and young married. My stubborness came in my 30's. Unlike my children, I allow for differences of opinion and personal accountability in decision making.

When my daughter was married, even though I disapproved - I supported her and paid for the wedding. When my son was 18 but in High School he wanted to move into his own apt and I supported him although did not approve - it was too soon.

But after they had moved out and I had graduated from college, I chose to move to Florida. To show their disapproval they refused to help me pack or load my truck. I did it myself and had to got to over a month of physical therapy to be able to walk again as I had moved everything over my 10# weight limit due to my car accident.

When I decided to move to Texas, all of my children refuse to visit me here and hold grudges because I choose not to live in Indiana. The choices they have made affect not only them but their children.

My stubborness manifests itself in that I insist on having a life separate from abuse, divorce issues, and all my ex-s live in Indiana! I will live and work where God and I choose regardless of the price my children intend that I pay.

So, the difference in my children and I is that I love them unconditionally but they have conditions that I refuse to be manipulated by.

So, are my children like me...only in some areas but not in the ones mentioned.

Blessings, Rhoni

[SeekingOne]

Originally Posted by *AQuietPlace*

develop a love for God, and a relationship with Him?

Obviously taking them to church every service isn't enough.

You guys get excited about God and serving Him. Find a church where the youth are excited about living for God and helping the unsaved in the area to love God as they do.

Most kids will get caught up in loving God more than the world when they see the power of God not only work in their lives, but in the lives of those they are witnessing to.

This is what I have witnessed first hand both recently in my own life and from observing many other youth in 3 other churches.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by SeekingOne

You guys get excited about God and serving Him. Find a church where the youth are excited about living for God and helping the unsaved in the area to love God as they do.

Most kids will get caught up in loving God more than the world when they see the power of God not only work in their lives, but in the lives of those they are witnessing to.

This is what I have witnessed first hand both recently in my own life and from observing many other youth in 3 other churches.

In the upci church I raised my children in - they were always in trouble and sat down about one thing or another. When they switched to the local ALJC church they were much more a part and enjoyed Jesus.

The spirit of the church and letting young people serve God without consistenily controlling and binding rules make a big difference.

P.S. The kids were sat down for ridiculous things like: my son for wearing tennis shoes to church, and getting a bowl haircut just like the Pastor's, and my daughter for trimming her hair and hanging out with trouble-making church kids. She always got blamed for what they did because her mother didn't dress according to the UC church standards. Like I said...stupid stuff. And where did they get that "6 month" thing?