!!Frustrated Dad!!

[shawndell]

brother I would have to agree with Mrs Brattifield about her ways of detureing a child from unwanted actions.Because thats how we as adults learn also.We make choices and if those choices cause problems,we wont make those same choices again.Its a learning process!Benji is learning at two what his little mind is capable of at two and it is hard work for us adults to show these little poeple what is right.LOL.

[Pragmatist]

Originally Posted by Truthseeker

One of them anti spanking sites? I'll take a look if you post it. Hard to overlook scripture on the subject though.

Well that particular site uses scripture also. Does God use physical punishment on you?

[Digging4Truth]

Through 3 kids we did not tolerate tantrums of any sort.

Tantrums were met with a swift and unwavering response. They learned quickly that throwing a tantrum bought them an immediate and a formidable response.

And, yes, I mean spankings.

But... tantrums start early and should be dealt with early. If the child is of an older age then I don't really know how to deal with things once they get out of control.

[Truthseeker]

Originally Posted by Pragmatist

Well that particular site uses scripture also. Does God use physical punishment on you?

Not yet thankGod, but did he on sodom and gomorrah? How about them in Corinthians that drank communnion unworthily that were sick and dying? Jonah in the belly of the whale?

[Truthseeker]

Originally Posted by Digging4Truth

Through 3 kids we did not tolerate tantrums of any sort.

Tantrums were met with a swift and unwavering response. They learned quickly that throwing a tantrum bought them an immediate and a formidable response.

And, yes, I mean spankings.

But... tantrums start early and should be dealt with early. If the child is of an older age then I don't really know how to deal with things once they get out of control.

Exactly, early and consistent.

[Digging4Truth]

Originally Posted by Truthseeker

Exactly, early and consistent.

Indeed...

And everyone please understand me. I am not talking about jerking a child up and beating the living fire out of them.

All discipline must take place on an age appropriate level and the older the child is the more you transition towards your words because they can understand and change their behavior.

I NEVER spank on a first offense. If a child does something wrong then we will discuss it. I will explain the offensive behavior, why it is offensive and what my expectations are.

If, upon our having such a discussion, this behavior continues then the likelihood of a spanking increases although I have to judge whether this is intentional disobedience or if we need to discuss this another time or two to give them the chance to incorporate the change into their behavior.

Once the child is old enough to understand... no form of discipline should go on, in my opinion, unless the child has been sat down and has had the offense calmly explained to them. They must be taught before there can be a wrong no matter who much I think that this should be "common sense".

I believe in spanking when it is appropriate... but spanking, in my home, only comes after the child has been calmly taught what the expectations are and is demonstrating willing disobedience to my expectations.

Then, once we reach that point, consistency is the key. They must be able to have complete faith that, when they willfully disobey me, I will NOT let them down. I will NOT fail them. What I have promised (whatever that discipline might be) I will deliver.

And... when the discipline has been delivered I hug them and let them know that I am not angry at them, I don't dislike them... they are my children and I love them... it was simply necessary that we do this because they refused to obey me and for some reason the spanking can get a message to their brain my words could not.

And never in anger... After I have explained to them that we have had this discussion before and having pointed out to them that I gave them ample opportunity for us to find ourselves here in disciplinary action... only then do we proceed with a spanking.

My children know spankings well. But they also know full well that, when we have to go there, that this is purely the result of their actions and that I have given them ample opportunity to avoid this but their refused to change their behavior and that is why we are here doing this.

[Pragmatist]

Originally Posted by Truthseeker

Not yet thankGod, but did he on sodom and gomorrah? How about them in Corinthians that drank communnion unworthily that were sick and dying? Jonah in the belly of the whale?

Natural consequences. God shows us grace and mercy. He allows us to suffer natural consequences for our actions, but doesn't punish us for our disobedience.

[BrotherEastman]

Originally Posted by Truthseeker

One of them anti spanking sites? I'll take a look if you post it. Hard to overlook scripture on the subject though.

LOL! You and I have had lots of discussions on tithing and context; do you think that it is just as possible to take Proverbs out of context when we incorporate physical punishment? Don't get me wrong, I'm not debating this issue, I'm just trying to explore options that will not provoke the wrath of my son. *wink*

[BrotherEastman]

Originally Posted by shawndell

brother I would have to agree with Mrs Brattifield about her ways of detureing a child from unwanted actions.Because thats how we as adults learn also.We make choices and if those choices cause problems,we wont make those same choices again.Its a learning process!Benji is learning at two what his little mind is capable of at two and it is hard work for us adults to show these little poeple what is right.LOL.

I think Miss Brattified and Margie have given wise council. I also believe that everyone here is raising thier children to the best of thier God given ability. I have enjoyed what everyone has said thus far.

[BrotherEastman]

Originally Posted by Digging4Truth

Indeed...

And everyone please understand me. I am not talking about jerking a child up and beating the living fire out of them.

All discipline must take place on an age appropriate level and the older the child is the more you transition towards your words because they can understand and change their behavior.

I NEVER spank on a first offense. If a child does something wrong then we will discuss it. I will explain the offensive behavior, why it is offensive and what my expectations are.

If, upon our having such a discussion, this behavior continues then the likelihood of a spanking increases although I have to judge whether this is intentional disobedience or if we need to discuss this another time or two to give them the chance to incorporate the change into their behavior.

Once the child is old enough to understand... no form of discipline should go on, in my opinion, unless the child has been sat down and has had the offense calmly explained to them. They must be taught before there can be a wrong no matter who much I think that this should be "common sense".

I believe in spanking when it is appropriate... but spanking, in my home, only comes after the child has been calmly taught what the expectations are and is demonstrating willing disobedience to my expectations.

Then, once we reach that point, consistency is the key. They must be able to have complete faith that, when they willfully disobey me, I will NOT let them down. I will NOT fail them. What I have promised (whatever that discipline might be) I will deliver.

And... when the discipline has been delivered I hug them and let them know that I am not angry at them, I don't dislike them... they are my children and I love them... it was simply necessary that we do this because they refused to obey me and for some reason the spanking can get a message to their brain my words could not.

And never in anger... After I have explained to them that we have had this discussion before and having pointed out to them that I gave them ample opportunity for us to find ourselves here in disciplinary action... only then do we proceed with a spanking.

My children know spankings well. But they also know full well that, when we have to go there, that this is purely the result of their actions and that I have given them ample opportunity to avoid this but their refused to change their behavior and that is why we are here doing this.

Good post.