Whew........then I am glad I never did that........
I did however once corner a copperhead snake in my kitchen and try to kill it with a pickle jar. Took about 5 minutes for it to die.
__________________
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8 KJV
Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2 KJV
My father was an usher in our church for years and years... and one year during our youth week our youth pastor decided that all the ushers would be young people and of course I was picked because of my father's ushering experience. I was sooooo proud. As we all gathered at the back before church I said to the other "ushers".. now remember... we go up to the very front pew before we start to pass the plate... don't start at the back.
....
Guess who started at the back?
__________________ Mrs. LPW
Psalm 19:14
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.
I must add, that the person on the other end of the pews in my section was a first year Bible school guy... and he laughed to kill himself over my mistake. He walked into the ladies washroom approx. five minutes later.
He's now a missionary to Ghana... he's known as Rev. N. Sisco.
__________________ Mrs. LPW
Psalm 19:14
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.
__________________ "It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity." Dave Barry 2005
I am a firm believer in the Old Paths
Articles on such subjects as "The New Birth," will be accepted, whether they teach that the new birth takes place before baptism in water and Spirit, or that the new birth consists of baptism of water and Spirit. - THE PENTECOSTAL HERALD Dec. 1945
"It is doubtful if any Trinitarian Pentecostals have ever professed to believe in three gods, and Oneness Pentecostals should not claim that they do." - Daniel Segraves
I had backed out of the garage when I realized I had forgotten my cell phone, so I hopped out of the car and ran inside to retrieve it.
When I got to the back door to go out, the wall by the door was protruding in. I opened the door and my car had eased its way back into the garage and ran into my chest freezer which pushed the corner through the wall - that was the protrusion in my kitchen!
I had forgotten to put the car in park. Luckily, it eased straight back into the garage missing the side of the garage and my husband's '61 Impala parked on the other side.
Talk about idiot!
__________________
Master of Science in Applied Disgruntled Religious Theorist Wrangling
PhD in Petulant Tantrum Quelling
Dean of the School of Hard Knocks
I have a fire pit behind my garage. Last spring, I was burning some brush and leaves, a very controlled fire. I looked around, and there was my CHristmas tree, I thought, "Good time to burn this!"
NOt realizing how combustible the tree was, I threw it right on the pit. Well, a fireball erupted, and melted all the vinyl siding on the back of my garage!!!!
My neighbor came out and was ooohing and aaaahing, on his way to town, I was quite embarassed, to say the least!
Anyway, my son and I found some extra siding in the garage, and had to replace all of the siding on the back of the garage!
THe neighbor came home a few hours later, and had to look twice, but we had fortunately fixed my mistake.
I learned my lesson about CHristmas trees!
Haven't you watched Christmas Vacation? LOL!
__________________
Master of Science in Applied Disgruntled Religious Theorist Wrangling
PhD in Petulant Tantrum Quelling
Dean of the School of Hard Knocks
I had backed out of the garage when I realized I had forgotten my cell phone, so I hopped out of the car and ran inside to retrieve it.
When I got to the back door to go out, the wall by the door was protruding in. I opened the door and my car had eased its way back into the garage and ran into my chest freezer which pushed the corner through the wall - that was the protrusion in my kitchen!
I had forgotten to put the car in park. Luckily, it eased straight back into the garage missing the side of the garage and my husband's '61 Impala parked on the other side.
Talk about idiot!
I agree! What an idioT!
__________________ "It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity." Dave Barry 2005
I am a firm believer in the Old Paths
Articles on such subjects as "The New Birth," will be accepted, whether they teach that the new birth takes place before baptism in water and Spirit, or that the new birth consists of baptism of water and Spirit. - THE PENTECOSTAL HERALD Dec. 1945
"It is doubtful if any Trinitarian Pentecostals have ever professed to believe in three gods, and Oneness Pentecostals should not claim that they do." - Daniel Segraves
I had backed out of the garage when I realized I had forgotten my cell phone, so I hopped out of the car and ran inside to retrieve it.
When I got to the back door to go out, the wall by the door was protruding in. I opened the door and my car had eased its way back into the garage and ran into my chest freezer which pushed the corner through the wall - that was the protrusion in my kitchen!
I had forgotten to put the car in park. Luckily, it eased straight back into the garage missing the side of the garage and my husband's '61 Impala parked on the other side.
Talk about idiot!
LOL...we may have a winner here !!!
__________________
God has lavished his love upon me.
I was driving down our FM road one day and came up and cars were stopped both ways as cows were standing in the middle of the road. I was wondering why no one was getting out of their vehicles to shoo them off the road. Well being the smarty that I am I decided to do it myself. Went past the first 2 cars that were stopped in front of me. Oh yeah, the first animal I saw was a huge bull, well I stopped, and the thought occured to me that if I got him going the cows would follow. Anyone ever tried to move a bull? I am 4' 11" and probably weigh 100 lbs. I was waving my arms and yelling and of course the bull was just standing there staring at me like, yeah, so what do you want?......lol It occured to me later how stupid that was......
__________________
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8 KJV
Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2 KJV
LOL!!!! Well, at least I got a new freezer out of it and our homeowners insurance covered all the repairs. Luckily, there was a concert step that stopped the freezer from COMPLETELY coming into my kitchen.
__________________
Master of Science in Applied Disgruntled Religious Theorist Wrangling
PhD in Petulant Tantrum Quelling
Dean of the School of Hard Knocks
Linear Mode
