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Deep Waters 'Deep Calleth Unto Deep ' -The place to go for Ministry discussions. Please keep it civil. Remember to discuss the issues, not each other.


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  #21  
Old 03-08-2007, 10:16 AM
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revrandy revrandy is offline
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Many times self esteem is gained only to be taken away by circumstances beyond one's control... and the battle is to regain what was taken from you..

I was reading an article on MSNBC yesterday concerning Sex and the difference between the 60's & the present.. and they were talking about how devalued young people have become... and what they are doing in high schools & colleges today... it is sad!!! The Author who was interviewing these people relayed what little self esteem they really have and to fit in with the crowd they just go along...

Listen.. the Bottom Line concerning Self Esteem for Christian is that we need to understand better our relationship with God and WHO we are IN Him...
It's not Pride to carry a Banner of Christianity... It's not Pride to live above the Fray... It's not pride to not prostitute ourselves for our peers sake...
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  #22  
Old 03-08-2007, 10:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyChocolate View Post
Inspired by reading your posts this morning, I turned to my boys a few minutes ago and said, "you guys are great kids" and my 7 year old said, "and you are a great mother!" i like it!!!
YOU ROCK MOM!!!!!
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  #23  
Old 03-08-2007, 10:28 AM
SDG SDG is offline
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Originally Posted by LadyChocolate View Post
Inspired by reading your posts this morning, I turned to my boys a few minutes ago and said, "you guys are great kids" and my 7 year old said, "and you are a great mother!" i like it!!!
Praise is always great ... but sometimes it can be overbearing if you do not give reasons for the praise ... I think descriptive praise reinforces the behavior better .... Like saying ... you are great because you made your bed this morning.
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  #24  
Old 03-08-2007, 10:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel Alicea View Post
Praise is always great ... but sometimes it can be overbearing if you do not give reasons for the praise ... I think descriptive praise reinforces the behavior better .... Like saying ... you are great because you made your bed this morning.
Agreed. But I am one who is in constant mom mode, meaning I tend to say, "hey, you need to do this like that, or you answered this wrong, and you can't do that..." not trying to be down them but just in a constant teaching mode....... And sometimes, people just need to know that they are great without having to do great things!!!
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  #25  
Old 03-08-2007, 10:31 AM
Rhoni Rhoni is offline
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Originally Posted by Annie View Post
I have no scientific 'proof' of this, but, it has been my experience that boys are easier to instill a feeling of confidence and self worth that girls are. Has anyone else, that is conservative as far as dress and uncut hair, found this to be true?? Girls get ridiculed at school more than the boys, and it really DOES have a negative affect on their self confidence. I struggled to keep my girls' in the correct thought processes where their worth in the Kingdom was concerned...

??? Am I making any sense? My writing skills are not the best, as was proved on the first thread I posted on- I am STILL being misunderstood on there...LOL
Actually, Developmental factors are at work here for young men and young women.

Girls who mature physically at a younger age have lower self esteem than those who 'blossom' at an older age.

Young men, on the other hand, have higher self esteem if they mature earlier, than those who mature later in adolesence.

Blessings, Rhoni
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  #26  
Old 03-08-2007, 10:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhoni View Post
Actually, Developmental factors are at work here for young men and young women.

Girls who mature physically at a younger age have lower self esteem than those who 'blossom' at an older age.

Young men, on the other hand, have higher self esteem if they mature earlier, than those who mature later in adolesence.

Blessings, Rhoni
It also factors in with whom they get their idenitities from..

Girls get their Idenitities and interaction with Men from their Father..

Boys from their Mom...

with the Divorce rate and single parent families the kids are the ones who wind up losing... even tho the Single parent trys their best they are still missing the benefits of a two parent home...
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  #27  
Old 03-08-2007, 10:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by revrandy View Post
It also factors in with whom they get their idenitities from..

Girls get their Idenitities and interaction with Men from their Father..

Boys from their Mom...

with the Divorce rate and single parent families the kids are the ones who wind up losing... even tho the Single parent trys their best they are still missing the benefits of a two parent home...

Yes sir you are sooo right! My husband had a great relationship with his mother. and it shows in how he treats me.... I was a daddy's girl
but my husband said he would watch how I treated my father when we were dating, and he could tell what kind of wife I would be.! Women are very lost in life when the father is absent..... and for boys, when the father is absent, their world is no better...... It takes two!!!!!!!!!!
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  #28  
Old 03-08-2007, 03:49 PM
Chan
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Originally Posted by revrandy View Post
Here's some info from our small group tonight...

SELF-ESTEEM

Name something that you like about yourself.

SCRIPTURES: Genesis 1:26-27, Luke 12:6-7, Romans 5:6-8, Romans 8:31-39 2Corinthians 5:17-20

TOPIC: SELF-ESTEEM
Webster’s Dictionary defines self-esteem as a confidence and satisfaction in oneself or a favorable opinion of oneself. Self-esteem is vital because a person’s self-concept is at the very center of their mental and emotional functioning. It’s impossible to maintain a healthy emotional balance if we lack self-esteem and our self-confidence is shaky. Only by knowing and liking ourself will we be able to handle the daily challenges of life without falling apart. Keep in mind, however, that balance is crucial with self-esteem, because too much can lead to pride, and too little can lead to suicide.

People who are healthy emotionally have a kind of inner security. They don’t feel that their worth as a person is always on the line, or that they have to be perfect in order to be accepted and appreciated. They can tolerate a little gravy on their lapel without thinking that people will reject them.

Psychologists believe that self-esteem comes from good parenting in which unconditional love is given and received at a deep level. When a person receives this kind of love, an inner security naturally develops. On the other hand, people who receive too little love in life tend
to feel like a donut with a hole in the middle. They feel like something is missing, but they don’t know what.

People with low self-esteem tend to manifest it in different ways. Some have a disregard or disrespect for themselves, which occasionally leads them to openly criticize or show contempt for themselves. Others hide their low self-esteem by boasting, denying faults or mistakes, and by presenting a flawless image. It’s not uncommon for such people to criticize others in an attempt to bring them down to their level. Still others with low self-esteem feel compelled to prove their value by working harder, performing better, and doing more than the average person.

[Now read Romans 12:3] Pride is thinking more highly of ourself than we ought to think. On the other hand, it’s wrong to think lower of ourself than we ought to think, too. Cutting ourself down isn’t humility, it’s self-abuse, and it’s also a lie.

Instead, we need to accept God’s opinion of us. The Bible tells us that God created mankind in His own image, which automatically makes us more valuable to Him than any other creature. Furthermore, the Bible says that those who believe in Christ are new creatures. No matter what our past, we have a brand new future in Jesus! Furthermore, Jesus has made us His ambassadors to the world! Since He esteems us so highly, we ought to have higher esteem for ourselves.

In addition, we ought to accept the fact that God loves us. The Bible says that, even when we were sinners, Jesus loved us enough to die for us. If we believe that the Bible is the infallible Word of God, then we ought to believe that He loves us. The problem is, many people lack faith in this area, and choose to believe their own negative opinion of themselves rather than God’s opinion.

It also helps to remember that people generally think of you as you present yourself to them. If you frequently put yourself down in front of others and express many doubts about yourself, they’ll soon share your negative opinion, and your self-esteem will drop even lower. On the other hand, if you’ll begin to esteem yourself, then others will begin to esteem you as well, and this, in turn, will boost your self-esteem even more.

Questions: (Key questions are marked: * )
1. Would you say that most of the people you know have high self-esteem, or do they lack self-esteem?
2. Psychologists claim that most of our self-esteem comes from our parents. Why do you think this is?
(* We accept our parent’s opinion of us. If they love and accept us, we tend to love and accept ourselves. If they reject us, we tend to reject ourselves.)
* 3. Why do others tend to view us the way we view ourselves?
(* Whether we realize it or not, we subconsciously send subliminal messages to others that show how much we esteem ourselves. Our speech, body language, and facial expressions reveal how we feel about ourselves, and this convinces others to see us the same way.)
* 4. How has low self-esteem affected your life?
* 5. How does trusting in God’s unconditional love increase our self-esteem?
(* If God loves us, we must have a high value. Once we truly start believing this, our self-esteem will increase tremendously because we will begin to see ourselves through God’s eyes. In other words, our self-esteem will increase once we substitute God’s high opinion of us for our low opinion of ourselves.)
Self-esteem is pride. Pride is sin. The Bible tells us to esteem others "in lowliness of mind."
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  #29  
Old 03-08-2007, 03:56 PM
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LadyChocolate LadyChocolate is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chan View Post
Self-esteem is pride. Pride is sin. The Bible tells us to esteem others "in lowliness of mind."
You sure do know how to mess up a good thread!
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  #30  
Old 03-08-2007, 04:13 PM
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revrandy revrandy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chan View Post
Self-esteem is pride. Pride is sin. The Bible tells us to esteem others "in lowliness of mind."
Chan....

Esteem others to what end???? You answered your own questions... we esteem others so they can????


maybe feel good about themselves......???? .....
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