Spiritual Abuse: Fact or Fiction

[Rico]

Originally Posted by Chan

Being ahead of me and having God-given authority over me doesn't mean they're superior to me. We are all one in Christ Jesus. But, no, I don't hold them to a higher standard (though from what I read of scripture, God does; but it's His place to do that, not mine). I don't excuse behavior in myself that I won't excuse in them.

Who said anything about superiority?

Originally Posted by Subdued

So you don't think that people who have been abused (assuming there is such a thing as "spiritual abuse," as you said) EVER needs time to heal or recover? (Just for clarification, you're speaking of adults only, correct?)

Well, I'm not convinced there is such a thing as spiritual abuse but, for the sake of argument, let's just say that there is. Healing from the effects of it is something for God to deal with but the first step toward that healing is forgiving the "abuser" the way God forgave you (which does, in fact, mean that you also forget the abuse since God chooses to forget your sins). The abused does not have the right to wallow in self-pity and refuse to be healed (as they're doing as long as they continue to hold onto the hurt and refuse to forgive as God forgave them). Does healing take time? Usually it does. However, that doesn't give anyone the right to harbor resentfulness, bitterness, anger, etc. toward the "abuser."

And, no, I'm not speaking only of adults. I am, however, speaking only of so-called "spiritual abuse" and not about any other kind of abuse.

Originally Posted by Rico

Who said anything about superiority?

I was differentiating your "ahead of you" from superiority since as a general term "ahead of you" can include superiority.

[Subdued]

Originally Posted by Chan

Well, I'm not convinced there is such a thing as spiritual abuse but, for the sake of argument, let's just say that there is. Healing from the effects of it is something for God to deal with but the first step toward that healing is forgiving the "abuser" the way God forgave you (which does, in fact, mean that you also forget the abuse since God chooses to forget your sins). The abused does not have the right to wallow in self-pity and refuse to be healed (as they're doing as long as they continue to hold onto the hurt and refuse to forgive as God forgave them). Does healing take time? Usually it does. However, that doesn't give anyone the right to harbor resentfulness, bitterness, anger, etc. toward the "abuser."

And, no, I'm not speaking only of adults. I am, however, speaking only of so-called "spiritual abuse" and not about any other kind of abuse.

Yes, forgiveness is imperative! A must! I think I understand what you're saying about forgetting - although, IMO, forgetting is impossible since I have a memory. Are you saying that by forgetting, you mean; never bring it up, or to not allow yourself to dwell on it if it enters your mind? If that is what you're saying, I fully agree.

Forgiving and forgetting (if possible - not sure it is w/having a memory - some things pop into my mind - I recall things unintentionally; therefore, I have not forgotten); but forgiving & forgetting does not mean a person will not experience pain from the abuse (that we are assuming exists, for the sake of argument). That's all I'm saying... When a person is abused, they require time to heal (time for the pain to go away) even sometimes after they have forgiven the abuser.

[Steve Epley]

I would post but I was so abused 30 yrs. ago I can't cope enough to post. Where is my Zolof, Prosac anything?????????????

[Felicity]

Forgiveness usually has to come first I'd say before much progress can be made with healing. No matter what the offence is.

JMO.

[Subdued]

Originally Posted by Felicity

Forgiveness usually has to come first I'd say before much progress can be made with healing. No matter what the offence is.

JMO.

I mostly agree with that. Forgiveness is a must; otherwise, healing won't happen. I'm not sure that forgiveness is always at the very beginning of the process, though. But it definitely IS in the process.

[Subdued]

Originally Posted by Steve Epley

I would post but I was so abused 30 yrs. ago I can't cope enough to post. Where is my Zolof, Prosac anything?????????????

Get over it, Bro.!

[Steve Epley]

Forget forgiveness it will take away my excuse to be miserable and NO ONE is going to take my misery away I deserve it. If I quit being miserable someone may expect something out of me!

[Rico]

Originally Posted by Steve Epley

Forget forgiveness it will take away my excuse to be miserable and NO ONE is going to take my misery away I deserve it. If I quit being miserable someone may expect something out of me!

Don't you have some shampoo you could be drinking?