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04-01-2010, 05:38 AM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 299
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Re: The Village idioT
When I was about 16 years old my Mom bought me this ankle length blue jean skirt to wear to senior camp. She sewed the split in the back almost all the way down, I couldn't separate my legs very far.
After leaving senior camp the youth always ate at Denny's on the way home, and we were all standing outside waiting on a table. One of my guy friends said something stupid to me so I started chasing him because I was going to punch him in the arm. Not having much leg room to run, my feet got tangled up and I went flying through the air and slammed into the newspaper machine. The guy I was in LOVE with was standing right next to me.
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Be content with what you have, for God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid." Hebrews 13:5,6
Love is patient, love is kind, Love does not insist on its own way. Love bears all things, believes all things,
Hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
- I Corinthians 13:4-8
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05-28-2010, 11:48 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: following the lewis and clark trail
Posts: 2,476
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Re: The Village idioT
Yesterday while trying to open a drawer that was stuck my wedding ring caught the top edge of the opening and out popped the stone. 
I knew the rings were snug but didn't plan to remove them anyway. Now I have a ring with 4 prongs sticking up........it was my day off so I spent lots of time allowing google to solve my problem.
I tried the liquid soap, hand lotion, baby oil, holding hand in ice water,,,,lots of clever solutions, but none worked.
The last resort is to go the ER, a jewelry store or even fire station and have it cut off. I couldn't decide what to do---------------
Today I went to work....with my lovely naked setting; although many people must have noticed, only one customer asked about it 
I came home and my husband said he could try but since I value my skin I hesitated.
Alas, he was able to use needle nose pliers and slip under the edge and cut it off (after I gave myself a heavy paper barrier under the ring).
Success 
__________________
"Le sens commun n'est pas si commun."
(Common sense is not so common.)
Voltaire
Common sense is genius dressed in working clothes.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
William James
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05-28-2010, 11:53 PM
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Live! Via Satellite
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 504
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Re: The Village idioT
Went out with a church youth group to do a nursing home service many, many years ago...
I concluded the service in prayer by asking God to "bless all those that were here in the funeral home."
Some thought I was a prophet. 
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Only the mediocre are at their best all the time.
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05-29-2010, 02:46 AM
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Accepts all friends requests
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 13,609
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Re: The Village idioT
I did this wedding once; the bride came in and everybody rose. I completed the whole wedding service and joined them together as man and wife. The recessional started and the newly married couple started to walk down the aisle: That's when it hit me - I had forgotten to invite everyone to sit down again. The entire congregation had stood throughout the entire wedding ceremony.
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05-29-2010, 06:52 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,597
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Re: The Village idioT
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoovie
Yesterday I was extremely busy and rushing to get to my next job when I discovered my fuel needed refilling... I put a little over a gallon in when I thought "Hey! this sure doesn't smell like diesel!" I called a diesel man and he said I would be alright if diluted the gas with 20 gallons diesel.
WHAT AN idioT!!
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No KIDDING! They say U cant fix STUPID!
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If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his heart...
Abraham Lincoln
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. - Eph. 4:29
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05-29-2010, 07:17 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,597
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Re: The Village idioT
I was grinding a very large stump a few years back, and realized just at the edge of where I was stopping my pass on the right side, was a propane gas line. I had stopped within an inch of hitting it. The ground was full of rocks causing many sparks. I am glad the Lord protected me(& others on that block) from my own stupidity, because it is most likely I would have blown myself and the house sky high, had I gone another inch to the right!
IDIOT!
__________________
If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his heart...
Abraham Lincoln
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. - Eph. 4:29
Last edited by shag; 05-29-2010 at 08:34 AM.
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05-29-2010, 10:11 AM
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Supercalifragilisticexpiali...
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 19,197
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Re: The Village idioT
Common, Trumpet and Shaggy you are total and accomplished idioTs! Well done!
__________________
"It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity." Dave Barry 2005
I am a firm believer in the Old Paths
Articles on such subjects as "The New Birth," will be accepted, whether they teach that the new birth takes place before baptism in water and Spirit, or that the new birth consists of baptism of water and Spirit. - THE PENTECOSTAL HERALD Dec. 1945
"It is doubtful if any Trinitarian Pentecostals have ever professed to believe in three gods, and Oneness Pentecostals should not claim that they do." - Daniel Segraves
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05-29-2010, 10:56 AM
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Administrator
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 13,829
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Re: The Village idioT
Quote:
Originally Posted by pelathais
I did this wedding once; the bride came in and everybody rose. I completed the whole wedding service and joined them together as man and wife. The recessional started and the newly married couple started to walk down the aisle: That's when it hit me - I had forgotten to invite everyone to sit down again. The entire congregation had stood throughout the entire wedding ceremony.
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Oh, my goodness, PEL!!!! That's AWESOME!!!! 
__________________
"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
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05-29-2010, 11:05 AM
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Love God, Love Your Neighbor
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 7,363
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Re: The Village idioT
I was once mowing with a riding lawn mower. Forgetting it was there, I ran over an electrical cable. There was a loud *bang* and sparks went flying everywhere when the blade hit the cable.
>>> the brilliant part >>>>>
It startled me and shook me up so much, I jumped off of the mower, grabbed the METAL FRAME and started trying to push the mower off of the cable.
Not sure why it didn't occur to me that I could have become a nice crispy critter.
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05-29-2010, 11:12 AM
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Forever Loved Admin
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 26,537
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Re: The Village idioT
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrmptPraise
Went out with a church youth group to do a nursing home service many, many years ago...
I concluded the service in prayer by asking God to "bless all those that were here in the funeral home."
Some thought I was a prophet. |
You ain't right!
__________________
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8 KJV
Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:2 KJV
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