I am so sorry to hear this, Rhoni. I am praying for you too.
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Isaiah 53:5: "But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."(KJV)
"God sends no one away empty except those who are full of themselves." Dwight L. Moody
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People who are always looking for fault,can find it easily all they have to do,is look into their mirror.
There they can find plenty of fault.