Divorce and Remarriage

[n david]

Originally Posted by Amanah

The husband of one wife.

As opposed to being single? What about widowed men? IMO, this is only speaking against polygamy, not against divorce/remarriage, single men, widowed men, etc.

Originally Posted by Amanah

Being divorced makes it harder to do marriage counseling, makes it harder to take a strong stand against divorce.

Would disease preclude a minister from preaching healing?

Would going through a bankruptcy make it harder for a minister to teach on stewardship of finances?

I have not been divorced, thank the Lord. I hope I never have to face that situation. However, I disagree that divorce would make it harder to counsel or that it would make being against divorce harder.

Personally, I would think that going through that terrible situation would cause the minister to have more insight into the damage it does to everyone involved...and because of that, the minister would do more to prevent divorce with other couples.

I doubt a person goes through a divorce thinking, "Others should definitely do this!"

[Amanah]

Maybe you are right, it is a difficult subject and I certainly don't mind being wrong

[jediwill83]

Personally I'm certainly not trying to prove myself right or someone else wrong...just wanting the facts according to scripture.


Biblical texts speak of men putting their wives away and issuing writs of divorcement.


How does scripture fare when held up to a nearly 70% divorce rate of women filing against men in modern time and also 50+% divorce rate in the church?



Hypergamy*trading up* is running rampant in today's society.


May God raise up wise and discerning ministry that can help couples navigate the pitfalls of relationships and marriage.


As a divorced man, I can give perspective that non divorced people just do not have.


Non divorced people may have study books and work books and self help seminars and non divorced ministers have Godly wisdom and advice gleaned from being on the outside and even on the outskirts of marital trainwrecks but they do not have the emotional perspective of being in the eye of the storm.

[Tithesmeister]

I can certainly see where someone would be uniquely qualified to teach on the perils of alcohol and drugs, if they had experienced the devastation that can be caused by indulging in the addictive behaviors that often wreck homes and lives. Divorce can be (in my opinion) the same sort of situation. We typically don’t keep someone from ministering if they come out of these (chemical addiction) lifestyles. It seems that being on either side of the divorce situation ( at fault or not) is not really all that different.

I know of a preacher whose wife left him, and it seemed that he was entirely innocent. He continued preaching, and to my knowledge has never remarried after getting divorced. He believes he is eligible to remarry but says that it might be unseemly to do so. However, technically he is NOT the husband of one wife. If the text is followed literally he seems to be disqualified from being a bishop or deacon. I personally believe that the verse refers to not having multiple wives, but it is difficult to be certain.

I have known of pastors who were very strict along these lines until their precious daughter experienced a divorce, at which point they became much more of an advocate of grace and understanding. I’m not being critical, I think it just took this happening to bring them to a better understanding. Sometimes it’s a matter of whose life is being impacted. It would be easy for me to look down on someone who struggles with alcoholism, because I don’t understand the addiction, having never suffered from it myself. Consequently, I probably would not be as effective a witness to someone who has been trapped in that addiction.

Sometimes I think we have gotten it wrong on divorce. I certainly wouldn’t want to steer someone wrong on the issue though. If there are no consequences for divorce, it may make it a more popular option, on the other hand we may be in danger of making people give up on living for God because they think they are ineligible for salvation. It is a situation that should be approached with wisdom and prayer, and it is my opinion that we should err on the side of caution in what we say and the spirit we say it in.

[berkeley]

The husband of one wife- at a time. If a man’a wife is at fault/leaves him then I personally have no issue if he were to remain in ministry. A man who is a repentant adulterer, on the other hand, has disqualified himself from the ministry. He did not rule his house well and is no longer of good report.

If my spouse left me on grounds other than death, I would not remarry.

[1ofthechosen]

Originally Posted by berkeley

The husband of one wife- at a time. If a man’a wife is at fault/leaves him then I personally have no issue if he were to remain in ministry. A man who is a repentant adulterer, on the other hand, has disqualified himself from the ministry. He did not rule his house well and is no longer of good report.

If my spouse left me on grounds other than death, I would not remarry.

I agree

[jediwill83]

Originally Posted by berkeley

The husband of one wife- at a time. If a man’a wife is at fault/leaves him then I personally have no issue if he were to remain in ministry. A man who is a repentant adulterer, on the other hand, has disqualified himself from the ministry. He did not rule his house well and is no longer of good report.

If my spouse left me on grounds other than death, I would not remarry.

Well after being cheated on multiple times I pulled the trigger on mine myself.


Had a wife that went behind my back and besmirched my character, accused me of beating her and causing her to miscarriage among other things EXTREMELY out of character for me and then after the second round of cheating I had enough.



I tried...I REALLY tried to make it work.


If that disqualifies me for ministry...so be it.


Not really looking for a "ministry" or position...man I'm just a guy who has major flaws trying to take care of a family.

[Tithesmeister]

Originally Posted by berkeley

The husband of one wife- at a time. If a man’a wife is at fault/leaves him then I personally have no issue if he were to remain in ministry. A man who is a repentant adulterer, on the other hand, has disqualified himself from the ministry. He did not rule his house well and is no longer of good report.

If my spouse left me on grounds other than death, I would not remarry.

I’m not sure of your circumstances. But do you really know what you would do in a situation that you have never been in?

What if you had children? Would you attempt to raise them without the help of a woman? They would most likely suffer from your dogmatic beliefs. It may not be wise to arbitrarily say what you would do in a certain situation. I’m not trying to be critical, I’m just saying you may wind up revisiting your decision, based on your circumstances.

[berkeley]

There’s a meme for this.

[Evang.Benincasa]

Husband of one wife means the guy had to be married and rule his house well.
His little children (not adult children) had to be part of the religion. While they were under his roof Numbers 30.