I am a firm believer that the unity of the Spirit can be maintained even with disagreements present. Nothing can really divide the people of God unless the people of God allow things to divide them.
The key is "bonds of peace". Having peace in one's spirit and with one's brothers and sisters begins with "Judge not, condemn not". This doesn't mean you can't hold strong views, or even contradictory views. It simply means we can hold in reserve our views and get to know one another and learn to love each other first.
A lot that gets written here likely wouldn't be shared face to face, whether that's good or bad. It's just the way the medium works. When I was more actively policing the Eschatology board, I tried to instill this same view. I'm not sure how well I succeeded, but the premise is right, I believe.
I can't think of anyone who posts here who I wouldn't be willing to meet in real life, shake hands with, and sit with in fellowship and worship. Maybe no one or only some hold that same view. And that's okay.
I find the best way to maintain unity is to have no strings attached. I try to treat others the way I wanted to be treated, just as Jesus teaches us. Since I don't like feeling cornered, coerced, manipulated, or forced, in any way, into anything, I don't do it to anyone else. That's how love works. Love neither pushes or pulls. Rather it emits, like light. It therefore "worketh no ill to his neighbor" (
Romans 13:10). Headlocking and pile-driving people into submission isn't the right way.
We may declare many things, and perhaps everything we say and do is 100% right on with the Holy Scriptures, however, we can but persuade only. We cannot convict, we cannot press, and we cannot cause others to conform or obey. We lead by example, not by fiat.
As for AFF, I've found it best for me to take a day or two off from posting. I may read and catch up, but if there's a particularly tense or controversial subject being hashed out, and if I'm neck-deep in the middle of it, for my own personal sanity, I choose to wait it out so as to not post hastily, or brashly, and begin offending. Years before my wife and I had children, there was a lot more time to dedicate to forums, too. That time is gone now.
So, why not take a little vay-cay from AFFville, and come back all the better for it? I think you'll find the peace you're looking for coupled with the ability to maintain the unity of the Spirit. While "thou shalt chill out" isn't in the Bible, the principle behind it is legit.