Pastors Vow Not to Participate in Civil Marriages:

[Aquila]

Christianity has clashed with government over marriage before. According to Christian legend there was a priest named Valentinus who married couples against the wishes of government, we call him Valentine. According to legend, in the 1st century AD it is said that Valentine, who was a priest, defied the order of the emperor Claudius banning marriage by secretly marrying couples. The legend claims that soldiers were sparse at this time empire was at war. By banning marriage the emperor hoped to gain more soldiers by inscription. Another legend is that Valentine refused to sacrifice to pagan gods. Being imprisoned for this, Valentine gave his testimony in prison and through his prayers healed the jailer's daughter who was suffering from blindness. The daughter and Valentine became rather fond of one another and on the day of his execution (February 14th) he left her a note declaring his love and thanking her for her companionship that was signed “Your Valentine.” As a result, love letters between lovers during this time were often signed, "Your Valentine", to hide the couple's identities. The church declared February 14th the Feast Day of St. Valentine. This is the origin of our St. Valentine's Day traditions.

As a result of these legends surrounding St. Valentine, St. Valentine's Day has evolved into a day to celebrate love, marriage, and lovers.

If the legends hold any weight, it would appear that this priest did somehow challenge the Roman imperial government with regards to the right for couples to be married without government regulation or interference. Marrying lovers privately may have ultimately cost an early Christian priest his life.

At any rate, the legend at least causes us to pause and consider... who really is in charge of marriage anyways? God or Caesar? Christ said,

“Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's.” (Mark 12:17, ESV)

Many use this argument to support turning to government for permission to marry. But is "marriage" Caesar's institution or God's? Are we failing to render unto God something that is God's?

[Aquila]

If marriage were a private contract, any couple could establish a marriage contract, including gay couples. However, while the government would recognize such marriages under contract law, churches and private organizations would be free to recognize only those unions that reflect their religious values.

[Aquila]

A conservative, liberty minded, couple and their private marriage:

How Do I Get Married Without A License?
http://ncrenegade.com/education/how-...out-a-license/

[Aquila]

A more biblical marriage covenant:

Marriage by Biblical Covenant Not State License
http://www.truthinliving.org/Marriage_Covenant.php

[Jermyn Davidson]

I think it is a good idea that the sinners our government governs have a way to get married without burdening the church.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by Jermyn Davidson

I think it is a good idea that the sinners our government governs have a way to get married without burdening the church.

The idea is that marriage has historically been a private contract, or covenant, between two individuals and/or their families. The government courts should only be called upon when the contract is breached and private arbitration cannot settle the issue.

Also, historically speaking, the church has either blessed a marriage or condemned it (as with John the Baptist's rebuke of King Herod's adulterous marriage). The church doesn't "establish" a marriage. When it comes to marriage, it is God alone who joins together a man and woman in the bonds of love. Not the government... not the church.

[FlamingZword]

It is high time for the church to refuse to recognize the government power to regulate marriage.
The church should simply refuse to recognize any marriages not conducted by the church.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by FlamingZword

It is high time for the church to refuse to recognize the government power to regulate marriage.
The church should simply refuse to recognize any marriages not conducted by the church.

I think that's legalistic thinking.

First, nowhere is the church charged with conducting marriages in Scripture. Honestly, only two sacraments are listed and practiced throughout, Baptism and the Lord's Supper. Some might add Foot Washing, but that's debatable.

Second, since churches are not centralized, there would be no way to police or monitor who was really married in a church or not.

Thirdly, converts would have to get remarried.

A simple solution is this... the couple should define their relationship by private contract, verbal or written (preferably written, much like a cohabitation agreement). Many Bibles still have Marriage Certificates in the front of them. This is because prior to marriage becoming a civil contract, it was a private contract, signed and kept in the family Bible. Churches can choose to either bless their union or condemn it based on details and circumstances.

[Aquila]

Would it be acceptable for a fellowship without state licensed elders to essentially "marry" a couple in care of the church, and allow individual couples to file their marriages with the civil government at their own discretion like many Quaker meetings do?

[Jermyn Davidson]

Originally Posted by Aquila

Would it be acceptable for a fellowship without state licensed elders to essentially "marry" a couple in care of the church, and allow individual couples to file their marriages with the civil government at their own discretion like many Quaker meetings do?

How is that really in different from what happens right now?