Greatest Trial You have Endured!

[Esther]

Originally Posted by pelathais

"The greatest?" Dunno. Most of them weren't all that great.

lol I hear you.

[Praxeas]

I was 19-20 years old. I was cited for possession of alcohol being a minor. I had to appear before a nasty old judge with all the other bad guys. That was the greatest...and only trial I ever been in

[Falla39]

Originally Posted by pelathais

"The greatest?" Dunno. Most of them weren't all that great.

Cindy's touched my heart. Thank God for the faith of a child!

Greatest as in "Biggest" or "Hardest" trial of your life!

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by Esther

Amazing testimonies!

I wish I was as settled as all of you seem from your trial.

I lost three babies. Two from miscarriages. The first one I nearly hemorraged to death. The third one the doctor "thought" I had miscarried when I had not and accidently aborted the baby. That was my last pregnacy.

I go through the emotions of feeling rejected by God because He is the giver of life. Then I have to try and remember that I asked God to not give me any children that would die lost. Knowing or believing my child would be in hell would be too much for me to bear.

I know God can not do wrong. I have to continually trust God. But it has been a huge thorn in my flesh, wondering if it is because God found me unworthy to be a mother.

Now I am really too old and since I am not Sarah with a handmaiden to see after the child plus the unlikely chance of living to see the child grow to maturity, I have to let this dream go. But it is so hard.

I am sorry for your losses, Esther. It is I think just as hard to grieve a miscarriage as any other loss of a child. I think a lot of parents pray that prayer, or pray that their children don't die lost. I really don't believe God found you unworthy to be a mother. I sometimes wonder when children die, if they are being spared a trial that might break their spirit or their souls. I also sometimes wonder about what might have been, how old they would be now, what kind of person they might have become....even after all these years at certain times, I just wonder.

[Esther]

Originally Posted by Cindy

I am sorry for your losses, Esther. It is I think just as hard to grieve a miscarriage as any other loss of a child. I think a lot of parents pray that prayer, or pray that their children don't die lost. I really don't believe God found you unworthy to be a mother. I sometimes wonder when children die, if they are being spared a trial that might break their spirit or their souls. I also sometimes wonder about what might have been, how old they would be now, what kind of person they might have become....even after all these years at certain times, I just wonder.

I agree, and you wonder what they would have looked like. I sometimes wonder which is harder to lose a child before you get to hold it and see it celebrate the special times like their birthday and Christmas vs a child you have had a chance to hold and celebrate special times with.

I have so many friends that have children t

[Esther]

Originally Posted by Cindy

I am sorry for your losses, Esther. It is I think just as hard to grieve a miscarriage as any other loss of a child. I think a lot of parents pray that prayer, or pray that their children don't die lost. I really don't believe God found you unworthy to be a mother. I sometimes wonder when children die, if they are being spared a trial that might break their spirit or their souls. I also sometimes wonder about what might have been, how old they would be now, what kind of person they might have become....even after all these years at certain times, I just wonder.

I agree, and you wonder what they would have looked like. I sometimes wonder which is harder to lose a child before you get to hold it and see it celebrate the special times like their birthday and Christmas vs a child you have had a chance to hold and celebrate special times with.

I have so many friends that have children they love that say I am lucky I don't have children, because their grown children break their hearts so deeply.

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by Esther

I agree, and you wonder what they would have looked like. I sometimes wonder which is harder to lose a child before you get to hold it and see it celebrate the special times like their birthday and Christmas vs a child you have had a chance to hold and celebrate special times with.

I have so many friends that have children they love that say I am lucky I don't have children, because their grown children break their hearts so deeply.

It hurts in different ways I think. But we still need to grieve. And it affects mothers different than it does dads and siblings.
One of the most insensitive things some people said to me were, well you have other children. Well, yes I do. They are not interchangeable.

I don't think I would tell someone they were lucky not to have children. Life happens to all of us, including heartache. But the love of our families make up for it. I am so proud of my grown children, we have great relationships, especially my daughters and I. But my sons surprise me sometimes with their expressions of love for me.

[Truthseeker]

I would say being accused of molesting my daughter. She did say something that could bring suspicion. She stated "daddy touched me down there and it hurt and said don't tell mommy" wow! She was about 4-5. What she was refering to the time I was tickling her in her lower abdomen and we were laughing having fun and somehow got into this thing back and forth about she's gonna tell mom and I would say you better not tickling her more, we did this back and forth for while just having fun. Well, with her age when she stated what happened she wasn't old enough to articulate it right and it was taken wrong. I know false accusations can come but not in a million years would I ever think I would be accused of such. I've had some sins to repent of but thankfully messing with kids has never been on the list.

Had to go through the whole CPS thing being seperated from my kids/wife for about a month. The CPS lady didn't help either, she added fuel to the fire. My 8 yr old son would cry asking for his daddy and such.... I still remember the intensity of hug when we reunited. he ran out his grandma's house running to me jumping in my arms squeezing me tight, just about brings me to tears now typing about it. My daughter was so young it didn't really effect her much, she didn't know what she said caused or even remembers the ordeal, I don't think.

It's truely amazing what you can endure with the grace of God. From the get go God begun to drop scriptures and thoughts in my mind to keep me. Of course, this could have been a marriage breaker, but God (I'm want to preach that one day "BUT GOD") revealed the truth behind it all, that is was a spiritual attack on us. A preacher, who knew nothing of the situation, prayed something over my wife that gave her a word on the situation breaking the oppression.

Totally unreal how something so painful was used to strengthen me and our marriage when it was all said in done.

Great is out God!

[Margies3]

Originally Posted by Esther

I agree, and you wonder what they would have looked like. I sometimes wonder which is harder to lose a child before you get to hold it and see it celebrate the special times like their birthday and Christmas vs a child you have had a chance to hold and celebrate special times with.

I have so many friends that have children they love that say I am lucky I don't have children, because their grown children break their hearts so deeply.

Esther, when I saw this thread, the first thought that came to my mind was that there are two different trials that stand out as the hardest for me. One, of course, was Walt's aneurysm. But even that one was made much easier to make it thru because I had already come thru the first - dealing with my infertility and the questions that come with it. So I understand how you feel.

There really is NOTHING easy about infertility or about losing a baby, no matter at which stage you lose them. NOTHING! Do I have any answers? No, I wish I could say that I do. I don't. One thing I have decided tho is that I will never be convinced by anyone that GOD is responsible for this. I believe that there are things that happen in this world today that happen simply because of the way that the world was set into motion and because there is sin in the world. Does that mean that because we are unable to have children, it is because of our own sins? or even those of our spouse? ABSOLUTELY NOT! It may not even be because of sin in our cases and in many others. It may just be "because". Why do some people get cancer? Why do some people become diabetic? Because. Because that's the way life is.

GOD IS NOT PUNISHING US. In fact, I am completely convinced that His heart is breaking just as much as ours. I believe that every time we weep over this, He is there to dry our tears, hold us close and weep along with us. He does understand. And He does care.

It is cruel of people to say things to us like you've had said to you. I had an Apostolic pastor's wife say to me, "You should be grateful that God has not given you children. You can use your resources for travel, and clothes and lots of other fun stuff. You can't do that if you have kids". I let her know that I would live in a tent if it meant that I could be a mother! And I did give up alot when we adopted our boys - and would do it again in a heartbeat. That doesn't mean that adoption is the answer for everyone tho. Maybe God has another way that you can channel that love and that need in your heart. I don't know. But I do understand.

[Sam]

I have a note in one of my Bibles that says:
The human in me says, "Why, Lord?" when I have to suffer
but the spirit in me, the part that's born again, says, "I trust You, Father."

I wish God would be more open with us and give us explanations when we go through trials and difficulties but He just doesn't. God allowed an angel/messenger of satan to buffet the Apostle Paul so seriously that he prayed three times for God to remove it, but God did not. He just assured Paul, "My grace is sufficient."

Some times I pray the prayer that David prayed in Psalm 10:1 when God seems to be hiding (ref Isaiah 45:15). And when God chooses to remain silent, all we can do is trust that He knows what we are going through, that He allowed it for some reason or another, and that He will take it and use it for good, and that His grace is sufficient.

Right now I am reading a book by Bro. Segraves titled "If God Loves Me, Why Am I Hurting?" It has a 2010 copyright and in it he addresses some of these questions. The best book I have read on this is "When God Doesn't Make Sense" by James Dobson copyrighted 1993. It doesn't answer questions, just encourages us to trust God when we get no answers.