I would study other religions. I think you will find that christianity is far superior in that it provides an entire framework for belief, And answers all questions pertaining to life, creation etc, while other religions come up short in being a total package. just my 2 cents.
You are going to get some crazy advice on here, and I will be praying for you. I wish that we'd had this forum twelve years ago. We had to stumble around during a time when there was nowhere really to turn for advice. If you would like to PM me, I am happy to share my story.
May you be blessed.
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Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
"You will be hated for my sake-Just remember that it should be for MY sake and not YOURS-
Do NOT act in such a way as to be offensive, and then blame it on me"
I am coming to this forum with a question or situation that I need feedback on. I have been lurking around here for a while.
I know that I am going to get some responses that go like, “you shouldn’t be asking for advice from people you have never met on an internet forum”. I have nowhere else to turn. There are people here that have written things that I respect.
I have been Oneness Pentecostal all my life. My entire family is OP, deeply entrenched in the OP church. I am 100% sure that none of them will ever leave this culture.
I have been on a inner path for the last 10 to 15 years, trying to figure out what I really believe. This is not topic relating to “standards”, because that is such a small concern to me. I have come to realize that I do not really believe a lot of what the OP church teaches/preaches is really accurate or necessary. So this is not about justifying any change on those things.
My real concern is my discomfort at even accepting Christianity as totally valid. It is big leap of faith for me because I have to accept the Bible as the truth to do so. It is not that I have a problem with the Bible. It is that in all of the belief systems out there, accepting the Bible as the true word of the true God is only possible through blind faith. I don’t know that I have that anymore. I am not saying that I am ready to turn my back on Christianity, just that I wish I could openly discuss my issues .
I play the part, and follow the rules and have a fairly full life. But I feel like a fraud 75-80% of the time. If I were to come clean with my feelings and thoughts, I know my family would still love me. But it would devastate them and forever change our relationship. They would not be capable of understanding it. Devastating them would devastate me, and I am not sure I will ever be strong enough to do it. It would mean that I would be starting my life over with no support system.
I know that there is no answer to this, but I would really like any input or wisdom that you could give to me.
I recommend books by Phillip Yancy, he deals with loss of faith alot, ultimately, I observed and studied. I NOW CHOOSE to believe! God is not the tyrant that he has been made out to be, "...He knows our frame..." He knows the human condition, and He has filled the gap!!! It is all about what Jesus has already done, not about us!
__________________ For it is written, "As I live, says the Lord every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall give praise to God. (Romans 14:11- NASB)
I truly appreciate all of these responses and have reread them several times. Several brought tears to my eyes. I know that no one response is going to change everything for me, but in the multitude I might be able to find some direction. At the very least, seeing the concern and support makes me feel not quite so alone.
How absolutely refreshing – an honest seeker! And, look! She has received responses where the foundations are expressions of love, compassion, and yes, wisdom.
An observation: All By Myself - you have opened the door for a number of folks to share that they to have also had, or are currently going through the same or similar experiences as you in their walk with God. I suspect that there a quite a number of such seekers on this and other forums who hold the same kind of views but are still reluctant to express them. It took you ten to fifteen years?
Even so, I would suggest that perhaps your experience (discomfort, uncertainty) is being shared by an ever growing number of men and women, regardless of religious group, organization or denomination. They are tired of 'doing church' like they have always done it. They are tired of the some old preaching out of a half a dozen overworked themes, and meaningless mantra's coming from the platform, as a substitute for prayer and comments of instruction or encouragement. And, the list of religious and spiritual dissatisfactions continue to grow – but without ever grasping and identifying the true source of all of the problems, or obtaining a clear focus on the corrective action required to 'correct' them. Unfortunately, I do not have a 'cook book' solution to the shared dilemma. I wish I had. Yet, as you can see, you are not as alone as you might have first thought.
Some folks have just gone into hiding. Some have started home Bible studies/churches of their own. Some have jumped around from one kind of church to another, from one religion to another, etc. Each looking for the 'right answer' to their longing for 'something more'. Sometimes a person gets lucky, sometimes they don't.
In your case, no matter what decision you make, even not to make a decision will be a decision, someone is going to experience an upset, a feeling of rejection or abandonment. It will either be you or someone you care about. If you decide to break from the family tradition, you already have a good idea of what might be in store for you – a very hard relational road, indeed. Should you encounter resistance to your moving on in your quest to find and establish a true relationship with the creator of the universe (and you), know this as an absolute, at least one of your detractors will express themselves in a harsh (judgmental) manner, because you will have chosen to do openly what they are afraid to admit to themselves, i.e. that they too are dissatisfied in the status quo – and cannot or will not take a public stand against it. On the other hand, there might be a number of folks just waiting and longing for some to open the door and lead the way. However, all of these are just possibilities, not necessarily facts. However, as Jesus said when folks were considering following after Him (becoming His disciples), “Count the costs.”
As an aside, much of today's western Christianity is a relatively new religion, a sect of Judaism that has been severed from its Hebrew roots, which make it a ship at sea with no one at the helm. It is just assumed that wherever the wind blows, that must be the direction God want's the church to go. No course, no destination, just sailing around in the open sea hoping to find a promised land – somewhere – while everyone pats each other on the back and tells each other about how great their seamanship is. It all looks so good on the surface, but has no substance. It has become good-looking busy work but without actual kingdom results. In your own life, take the helm, set a course for your destination of choice Use the word of God as the compass to keep you on track. Hold all of these things in your own hands, and do not give the responsibility for your life (salvation) into the hands of others. For in the end, it will be you that will have to answer for your life – not those other folks, they'll have their hands full just answering for their own.
Well, as usual I have offered up more verbiage than substance, but perhaps something of what I have shared will provide some assistance in your search.
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It makes no difference whether you study in the holy language, or in Arabic, or Aramaic [or in Greek or even in English]; it matters only whether it is done with understanding. - Moshe Maimonides.
Last edited by A.W. Bowman; 12-09-2009 at 10:15 PM.
You are NOT ALL BY YOURSELF......I do not know if this applies to you or not, but I know in my case and others when you start questioning what you've been taught it can be scary, but a growing time.
In some cases, it's scary because you have to learn to THINK for yourself instead of just listening to what you've been told and "going along with it".
This is one of the BEST things that can happen to you to bring you CLOSER to God. You can't get by just because your family believes this way or that way....you've got to dig and search for the answers yourself. You have to restart or maintain a personal walk with God. Not just hang out at church. Ask God to show YOU!
You can feel lonely at times, but it can be the closest times you'll ever have with God.
Sounds like you are trying to hurdle over disappointment in man, not God.
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Master of Science in Applied Disgruntled Religious Theorist Wrangling
PhD in Petulant Tantrum Quelling
Dean of the School of Hard Knocks
I'm going to say something that I struggled with whether I should say. I hope that it does not offend you and that you see it in the spirit in which I'm trying to deliver it.
I hope that you will soon see fit to change your user name here. You are not All By Yourself and it is a trick of the enemy to try to convince you that you are. Isolation is one of the oldest and most effective tricks he uses. I believe he learned from his first interactions with Eve, that he can accomplish alot if he can get you alone. You are not All By Yourself, there is a real God who really loves you and I would imagine family and friends as well. You are certainly not alone on this forum.
I pray that eventually you will feel the urge to change that, not just as your user name but in how you feel. Because everytime you type or see that you may be validating those feelings.
God Bless and I am still praying for you and your family
__________________
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Houston.
Either the United States will destroy ignorance, or ignorance will destroy the United States. – W.E.B. DuBois
Well, as usual I have offered up more verbiage than substance, but perhaps something of what I have shared will provide some assistance in your search.
The post was very full of substance. Great advice.
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