Needing advice

[scotty]

Originally Posted by He's My Friend

Good things said here, (actually, all have given you sound words).

Lately I've heard the following,(over the pulpit) and I almost asked folks here what they thought about it.....but I was afraid to ask ...

I heard a pastor say several times lately, " If you leave here, you will leave here full, but you will come back empty."

I have heard this in a sermon but it had nothing to do with leaving the church....it had to do with gathering together as a church to fill one with the meat of the Lord. (was a good sermon)

He also said, if he finds out what church you go to, he will call and tell the pastor all about you.....and tell him you do not pay tithes...

this sounds like a joke, are you sure he was serious ? If he was then you have problems..

They have had about 4 families leave their assembly, and I do believe it may just be the start of more leaving.

.

[Margies3]

Originally Posted by He's My Friend

Good things said here, (actually, all have given you sound words).

Lately I've heard the following,(over the pulpit) and I almost asked folks here what they thought about it.....but I was afraid to ask ...

I heard a pastor say several times lately, " If you leave here, you will leave here full, but you will come back empty."

He also said, if he finds out what church you go to, he will call and tell the pastor all about you.....and tell him you do not pay tithes...

They have had about 4 families leave their assembly, and I do believe it may just be the start of more leaving.

That came from a "Man of God"????? And he believes he is pleasing God by this kind of attitude? Sad, just sad

[scotty]

Originally Posted by He's My Friend

Yes sir, he was very serious about both statements.

.

then its time to go

[Margies3]

Originally Posted by He's My Friend

It is so sad when you are afraid to just "leave".....but all of us see the fear that others attempt to place in us.

It's so scary to realize that we've been taught to put our faith in men instead of in the Lord. Trust in HIM, He's My Friend. Not in what "others" have said to you. Put your faith in GOD. He will never let you down.

[Pressing-On]

My advice? I would ask my husband what He thought God wants you both to do and then do it. If you are walking together you will both be in the same mind.

Lots of encouragement can be given here, but we can't tell you what God wants you to do.

I was in a church that I hated - for nine years! God told us not to leave. I hated it so much that one night I went into the bedroom and said, "If you don't get us out of here, I'm never sleeping in this bedroom with you again." LOL

He said, "I'm not God. We can't leave until He tells us to leave."

We stayed a while longer and one day - the door opened for us to leave - That church has since been set right with an awesome pastor and wife and the Children's Ministry is still going on that we set up.

What did I learn? - the same lesson as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego - Daniel 3:27 "And the princes, governors, and captains, and the king's counsellors, being gathered together, saw these men, upon whose bodies the fire had no power, nor was an hair of their head singed, neither were their coats changed, nor the smell of fire had passed on them."

We have a phrase in our household that we taught our children. When they ask, "What are we going to do?" We say, "We are going to see it through."

I saw them leave home - my daughter going into business for herself, our son getting a job - what did they learn when trouble came? - "We are going to see it through."

That's my advice. If God told you to stay - then stay. If He told you to go somewhere else, then do it. It is in Him that we live, move and have our being. It's not my choice to make - it is His. JMO!

Others may say that you are in His will no matter what you decide to do, but that has not been my experience.

[Margies3]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

My advice? If God told you to stay - then stay. If He told you to go somewhere else, then do it. It is in Him that we live, move and have our being. It's not my choice to make - it is His. JMO!

Others may say that you are in His will no matter what you decide to do, but that has not been my experience.

Exactly! Good words, PO. Don't stay because someone (including the pastor) is saying you must. But if God wants you to go, he will tell you that. Believe me, He WILL tell you. Just listen for His voice.

[Blubayou]

This has been very good advice here. When we left - we notified the pastor and asked for a letter of reference, which we got. Then we made an appointment with the pastor we wanted to move our membership to. He accepted us as members, even though he had been asked not to. Yes - it does happen. There is an unspoken and sometimes spoken pact among pastors. But if you approach in the correct spirit, God will make a way for you.

[pelathais]

Originally Posted by He's My Friend

Good things said here, (actually, all have given you sound words).

Lately I've heard the following,(over the pulpit) and I almost asked folks here what they thought about it.....but I was afraid to ask ...but I guess this topic gave me the courage to ask.

I heard a pastor say several times lately, " If you leave here, you will leave here full, but you will come back empty."

He also said, if he finds out what church you go to, he will call and tell the pastor all about you.....and tell him you do not pay tithes...(not sure where that came from , since he made such a blanket statement.

They have had about 4 families leave their assembly, and I do believe it may just be the start of more leaving.

I marvel at things like this, and if it weren't for the fact that I've seen similar and worse I'd have a hard time believing it's true. How can people stand in a pulpit and talk like this? I fear and tremble (literally) whenever I preached or even spoke. I was afraid, not from stage fright so much as the consequences that my words would have.

The pulpit shouldn't be about the preacher, it's about everybody else and their need for something from God.

For Hisdaughter, I feel for you. From what you've said it sounds like you've tried to be sensitive (your whole family has). But you and your husband have got to make some choices about your lives and the lives of your children. We moved to another church primarily so our kids could have fellowship with other apostolic young people. Right now they're at a fellowship/party with another church in another city, probably having the time of their lives.

You've got to do what you can for your young people while they're still young people. I've hung around situations for decades waiting for things to get better. All I have to show for that are the lines on my face.

[Margies3]

HisDaughter,

one of the things that we were able to say in honesty and without making it a 'fault finding statement' when we changed churches was that we needed to have a church that had a strong youth group for our sons. Our old church had no youth group at all. Our new one had a large, active, spiritually strong group. So when people would ask why we left we could always fall back on that as our reason.

Sounds to me like you have the same kind of situation. you might want to make that your "reason" and just leave it at that.

[ManOfWord]

Listen, I have been on the other end of what you are going through as a pastor. I was insecure, and controlling and didn't want ANYONE to leave for any reason. We saw some growth, but I hurt many people with my control issues. It was totally wrong of me to lead the way I did, but that was what I was taught. I really didn't know any better.

Now, I know better. I want what is best for the families in the church I pastor. If leaving is the best for them, then I wish them God speed. I used to take it very personal, but no longer. These sheep belong to the Lord and not me. When a pastor begins taking ownership of the sheep....it's time to move...because abuse always follows.

My advice....follow the Cloud!