Thanks Pastor Poster!

[Nahum]

Originally Posted by ChTatum

Your thread about God's vengeance came at the perfect time for me, as I have been struggling with a situation for a little over a year now.

Question for the forum:

I believe I have forgiven someone, though they never asked, but I still have a deep-seated need to discuss the situation with them.

Is this, in your opinion, a good thing to do?

I can't explain it, but some things just nag at us like this.

We can say all of the politically correct stuff we're supposed to. We can truly convince ourselves that we have forgiven. But sometimes the scars just ache a little, you know? In some cases it's a persistent dull ache that just doesn't go away.

I haven't figured out what do do with that yet.

Maybe God is using that ache to keep me on my knees?

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by ChTatum

Your thread about God's vengeance came at the perfect time for me, as I have been struggling with a situation for a little over a year now.

Question for the forum:

I believe I have forgiven someone, though they never asked, but I still have a deep-seated need to discuss the situation with them.

Is this, in your opinion, a good thing to do?

Brother ChTatum,
I think you are looking for some advice that goes along with your situation, which we don't know. And I think that when you read a post that, unknowingly, speaks to your situation you will be glad for that.

So, I will interject my thoughts on it. If you feel you and this person have something between you that causes YOU NOT to move on, even if you feel like you have forgiven, then I think you should talk to them.

You would have to consider the worth of doing that? Will it help the situation? If this person is unreceptive BUT it helps you move on, than I would do it.

By way of example - I remember a woman that was angry at me. I can't even remember what it was all about it's been so long ago. What I do remember is I knew before I went to her that she was NOT going to accept my apology, but I knew that talking to her and giving my apology would set ME free, which it did.

Not everyone we apologize to and forgive are going to care afterward, BUT if it sets ME free in my heart that is what I am going for.

[DanielR]

If you do go to this person, go in a spirit of asking them for forgiveness rather than seeking an apology. Even if you are completely not at fault, (our attitudes about a situation makes us at fault often times) this will give you the opportunity to talk about it while asking them to forgive you because of your attitude towards them because of the situation. Shoulder the blame, they will know if they need to apologize. They may not ever apologize, but you've lifted the burden off of you by going to them to apoligize to them because of the way they made you feel.

Daniel

[Tech]

Originally Posted by ChTatum

Your thread about God's vengeance came at the perfect time for me, as I have been struggling with a situation for a little over a year now.

Question for the forum:

I believe I have forgiven someone, though they never asked, but I still have a deep-seated need to discuss the situation with them.

Is this, in your opinion, a good thing to do?

Bro. Chuck.Do what you have taught and preached to others and do whatever it takes to make peace with your brother.

[ChTatum]

Originally Posted by Tech

Bro. Chuck.Do what you have taught and preached to others and do whatever it takes to make peace with your brother.

Thanks brother.

This has been a struggle, and you know more about it than anyone else on here.

I do feel like I have forgiven, but I am having a hard time moving on. There are some things that I feel need to be said that may help the other brother in the future.

Tough situation.

Pray for me.

[Tech]

Originally Posted by ChTatum

Thanks brother.

This has been a struggle, and you know more about it than anyone else on here.

I do feel like I have forgiven, but I am having a hard time moving on. There are some things that I feel need to be said that may help the other brother in the future.

Tough situation.

Pray for me.

That i will brother. It is a tough situation, but i pray that you both will be able to move past it.You both have the same goal to reach the lost.

I understand the hurt you have felt.But at the same time the other brother feels he is doing Gods will for him.Only God knows.

Br. Tatum,

I will share with you my experience. I felt unfairly treated by a group of men who wounded me when I was just a young man, just turned 21. I backslid and carried a root of bitterness against all of those men for the 18+ years I was backslidden. When I came back to God almost 9 years ago, the first thing I did was sincerely repent and then sincerely find forgiveness in my heart for each of those men.

I thought I was finished. Then the Lord began to deal with me about the difference in being healed and being whole. I had been healed but I was not yet whole. Following a vision concerning this issue the Lord instructed me to go those who had offended me... not "forgiving them" but repenting for having carried the hurt and the bitterness for so long.

Bro. Tatum, you cannot believe the reception I got nor the relief I felt as I dialed each number and received their forgiveness. I went from healed to whole in about 30 phone calls. But it felt so good that I called every preacher I could think of that might have been wounded by the fall of my ministry and my personal failure and I sought their forgiveness. Oh how blessed I was!

I would say that if you approach this individual Repenting instead of forgiving you will more likely be able to settle the issue in your heart and find not only healing in the relationship but also wholeness!

[mfblume]

Originally Posted by ChTatum

Your thread about God's vengeance came at the perfect time for me, as I have been struggling with a situation for a little over a year now.

Question for the forum:

I believe I have forgiven someone, though they never asked, but I still have a deep-seated need to discuss the situation with them.

Is this, in your opinion, a good thing to do?

Only if they are keenly aware of the former problem between you two. If not, you will only tempt them to deal with lack of forgiveness, yourself.

[ChTatum]

I had a great conversation with the other brother today. I began by apologizing for the hard feelings I had experienced and asked his forgiveness for them.

We went from there to a time of us both expressing our side of the situation, and came to the conclusion that neither of us felt the other had intentionally hurt the other. It was just an unfortunate set of circumstances that put two brothers at odds.

But we have a Father who taught forgiveness AND reconciliation; the forgiveness was done a while back, reconciliation occurred today.

We serve an awesome God!

[ChTatum]

Thanks for each of your responses!

Ultimately I had to go with I felt strongest in my heart. I needed resolution and reconciliation, as I have a deep love for this brother, and he does for me as well.

I always covet your prayers, thanks again!