Since the heart is only known by God, how can we be SURE?

[Sister Alvear]

Bitterness always destroys. Just tonight someone was talking to me about a bitter person and how the person used to be so fun to be around but today there is just a relic of their old self...bitter, hard, unforgiving, cold...is what you feel around them now.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Sister Alvear

Bitterness always destroys. Just tonight someone was talking to me about a bitter person and how the person used to be so fun to be around but today there is just a relic of their old self...bitter, hard, unforgiving, cold...is what you feel around them now.

I agree, but does unforgiveness always turn to bitterness?

[Barb]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

I agree, but does unforgiveness always turn to bitterness?

Renda, unforgiveness is a hanging on disease that grows into something very ugly...been there, girl...

If sincere forgiveness is not granted, in time, bitterness will overtake and choke the life out of a person's spirit.

Perhaps the question to ask is, why do we choose not to forgive?!

It's late and I have a big day ahead of me...

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Barb

Renda, unforgiveness is a hanging on disease that grows into something very ugly...been there, girl...

If sincere forgiveness is not granted, in time, bitterness will overtake and choke the life out of a person's spirit.

Perhaps the question to ask is, why do we choose not to forgive?!

It's late and I have a big day ahead of me...

Renda might want to answer for herself, but I think we got to the place of "trust" and "forgiveness". You can forgive, but you don't necessarily have to place all your trust in a person until you are sure about their intentions or motivations.

I think it would be hard to do.

[Felicity]

If you refuse to forgive, aren't you already bitter?

[Elizabeth]

Originally Posted by Rico

This is not to say anything against women, but I believe how we relate to our Earthly father affects our relationship with God more than how we relate to our mother.

Thats right Rico, I wasn't telling the story to emphasis her mother (who was dead) but her father basically abandoned her emotionally.

He left her in a catholic convent for the nuns to raise, but they abused her.

She said he was very depressed all the time and would cry over losing her mother, he was like living with a ghost.

Anyway she is a pastors wife today but still struggles with whether God really loves her because of the pain she faced.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Renda might want to answer for herself, but I think we got to the place of "trust" and "forgiveness". You can forgive, but you don't necessarily have to place all your trust in a person until you are sure about their intentions or motivations.

I think it would be hard to do.

This is more along the lines of what I'm thinking. Like Felicity has already mentioned - it's hard for me to not forgive someone - - as Thad always accused me -- I want everyone happy, so I cannot imagine not forgiving someone to the point of bitterness.

I have forgiven my former husband even though he's really never asked for it - - BUT, I will never trust him again. I have absolutely no bitterness at all - I'm actually happier in my life than I have been in over 25 years.

And, I'm still not sure I completely see that the things Jesus mentioned that we need to separate ourselves from are only actions of the unrepented.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Jeanie

Thats right Rico, I wasn't telling the story to emphasis her mother (who was dead) but her father basically abandoned her emotionally.

He left her in a catholic convent for the nuns to raise, but they abused her.

She said he was very depressed all the time and would cry over losing her mother, he was like living with a ghost.

Anyway she is a pastors wife today but still struggles with whether God really loves her because of the pain she faced.

I think any traumatic experience whether it comes from a male or female, is going to skew anyone's view of God. People are the only thing we have to judge relationship with.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

This is more along the lines of what I'm thinking. Like Felicity has already mentioned - it's hard for me to not forgive someone - - as Thad always accused me -- I want everyone happy, so I cannot imagine not forgiving someone to the point of bitterness.

I have forgiven my former husband even though he's really never asked for it - - BUT, I will never trust him again. I have absolutely no bitterness at all - I'm actually happier in my life than I have been in over 25 years.

And, I'm still not sure I completely see that the things Jesus mentioned that we need to separate ourselves from are only actions of the unrepented.

Can you enlarge on this? I'd be interested to hear more.

[Rico]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Rico,
I have to disagree. If you are laying your gift at the altar you are searching for reconciliation.

If you are working with someone to find reconciliation by going to them alone, the decent thing to do, and then bringing others for help, I feel you have already forgiven them or you wouldn't have gone the extra mile.

This passage speaks of "shall be in danger" if you do these things: be angry w/o cause, call your brother Raca or a fool. It is a deeper instruction for finding forgiveness. It bears out, in a deeper meaning, to find forgiveness whether someone wants to give it or not, IMO.

Sister, I am having some trouble knowing exactly which parts you are responding to and what goes to what. Can you clarify a bit? You did a boo boo somewhere in your editing. Thanks.