Signs of a Controlling Church<<<

[Emma Bontrager]

Originally Posted by AreYouReady?

I'm not joining.

Maybe not, but I can tell your dog is.

[Emma Bontrager]

Originally Posted by KeptByTheWord

Ya know... I'm having second thoughts too... surely there must be an easier way to get through them pearly gates.... why them horses, I just can't bear the thoughts of walking everywhere, and now I have no car AND no coffee table, and I can't even gossip anymore! What's a body to do without a little gossip for the spice of life?

And to go and talk to the bishop ... why he reminds me a little too much of Elder Epley here... in fact I think they may be twin brothers... I just can't do it... I just can't...

Are you SURE there's not an easier way to heaven then this? I mean the Bishop just scares me and Ms. Cindy... well... its not that important anyway about her bun. Forget I even said anything about it... ok?

And Sis. Emma - after you preached and prophesied, and.... spit all over me and messed up my bun... whew... I don't know how I can continue in this Apostolic business... I didn't know it was gonna get this hot n heavy....

A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. Of course, since you are a woman, you get a little slack.

[Emma Bontrager]

Originally Posted by Fiyahstarter

The horse was jet black. And the buggy was.... uh, oh yea.... jet black. And the driver was wearing dark (perhaps jet black) clothing.

Oh, and he had a beard. Is that a good clue???

I think I know who it is. Tonight, I am going to sneak up to his house and look in the windows. I prayed if it was him that he would have a lamp lit. So, if he does, I will know for a fact is was him.

[Emma Bontrager]

Originally Posted by AreYouReady?

A buggy is too modern.

They better go find a roman chariot.

I think those have shiny things on them. Not okay.

[Azzan]

Originally Posted by Emma Bontrager

I think those have shiny things on them. Not okay.

I've seen Amish buggies with reflectors. Pretty shiny if you ask me.

[Emma Bontrager]

Originally Posted by Azzan

I've seen Amish buggies with reflectors. Pretty shiny if you ask me.

Scary shiny. My district does not allow that. If we get hit by a car, it is God's will.

[Amanah]

Originally Posted by Emma Bontrager

Scary shiny. My district does not allow that. If we get hit by a car, it is God's will.

amen Sister Emma, to be absent from the body is to be present with our Lord.

[Emma Bontrager]

Originally Posted by Amanah

amen Sister Emma, to be absent from the body is to be present with our Lord.

Glory! I can feel them God bumps now.

[navygoat1998]

Originally Posted by Emma Bontrager

First thing you need to do is determine if, in fact, she is wearing powder or if that is some leftover flour from baking. If you do determine that it is face powder like the Jezebel kind, then there is only one thing do to. If she is wearing powder, the cat has a demon and it's her fault. Cast the demon out of the cat and your wife will stop wearing the face powder. Otherwise, the cat may just be constipated. In that case, castor oil is a good fix. Godspeed to you, brother. And if there is anything cheap to be found, I will find it.

I think she has been reading one them watered down new fangled bibles like the NIV on CD. What is a CD??? She needs the KJV to set her feet back on solid ground...... wait I gotta go the cats head is spinning around.

[AreYouReady?]

Originally Posted by Emma Bontrager

Maybe not, but I can tell your dog is.

Well....my dog doesn't talk over a coffee table so maybe you are correct. She also doesn't ride in a buggy...she prefers to saddle up.