Divorce and Remarriage

[JoeBandy]

Originally Posted by 1ofthechosen

This makes no sense with what you said earlier and what you always claim about her cheating on you. If she was "in no way immoral while you were married", then how do you rectify getting a divorce from her?

You misquoted him. He said "when we were married" meaning at the time of the ceremony. You misquoted and said "while you were married".

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by 1ofthechosen

This makes no sense with what you said earlier and what you always claim about her cheating on you. If she was "in no way immoral while you were married", then how do you rectify getting a divorce from her?

You changed a word in your quote. I never said, "in no way immoral while we were married." I said, she was no way an immoral woman when we were married", we were both only 21 and 20 years old and high school sweet hearts on that beautiful September weekend. How do you expect a 20 year old virgin girl to indicate that she's a swinger???

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by JoeBandy

You misquoted him. He said "when we were married" meaning at the time of the ceremony. You misquoted and said "while you were married".

They will stop and nothing, bend all words said, and outright lie and mischaracterize to attack and justify their foolishness... instead of offering a simple apology, or better yet, just not launching into a bitter tirade of judgment.

That's the conservative wing here.

[Evang.Benincasa]

Originally Posted by Aquila

They will stop and nothing, bend all words said, and outright lie and mischaracterize to attack and justify their foolishness... instead of offer a simple apology.

That's the conservative wing here.

You do realize you paint yourself as the innocent party. Go re-read what you posted.

Originally Posted by Aquila

No, I get your point. And you're right.

But we married right out of high school. We played by the rules, and served the church for 13 years before a storm blew in and we found ourselves disenchanted with our leadership and outside of church. It was during this wilderness period of being backslidden that she made friends at her work that were into the lifestyle. She got involved with a woman and her husband before I knew anything was going on. When I caught wind of it and she tearfully opened up to me, confessing everything, pleading for me to be patient and forgiving... I was. I loved her. She wanted an open relationship. I didn't know what to do. I was young and stupid. I thought I could be patient, kind, loving and lover her back home. I was wrong. When I finally demanded that everything come to an end and we return to church for pastoral counseling, she decided to tell me that she loved her lifestyle... and that she wanted a divorce.

When we married, I had no indication that she was into swinging. She was only 20 and I was 21. We were young and stupid. Each our first love.

My point in sharing this was that things can be tremendously complicated in divorce. Those who have never been through it often think it is so easily defined and sorted out. It isn't. In light of this, exception clauses that allow the "innocent party" to remarry without penalty or limitation in leadership cause me pause. There is rarely an "innocent party" in a divorce. And, there are often so many lies, accusations, and distortions throughout the process, I wouldn't ever expect a church to be able to sort through it all and establish an "innocent party".

This is why I believe it best to just classify divorce and remarriage as sin. It is adultery in that it adulterates the first indissoluble union by adding another indissoluble union. Now, this isn't the unpardonable sin. I believe that couples in second marriages can receive restorative and sanctifying grace and mercy, and their second marriage become more blessed than the first. However, I don't believe there is any entitlement to leadership. A man who has been married to two women is clearly not the husband of one wife.

Chris, where is your part in all of this? It looks like you are totally innocent. Furthermore you were the Christian while she was the antichrist?

Listen, I just can't get what you are saying here, leadership can't remarry because it is sin. But a second marriage by some other group is allowed because they receive special grace? Care to show me this through scripture?

[Amanah]

Originally Posted by Evang.Benincasa

Dude, in the same breath it would disqualify you from being a husband. Since father, and husband are way higher than apostles, prophets; evangelists; pastors and teachers. Because they are patterned after the organization of a household, as siblings under the FATHER Jesus Christ.

never thought of it this way before, but it makes sense and I like it, it gets the priorities right

God
Husband
Wife
Children
Church family

[Evang.Benincasa]

Originally Posted by Aquila

But we married right out of high school. We played by the rules, and served the church for 13 years before a storm blew in and we found ourselves disenchanted with our leadership and outside of church.

OK, inside and outside leadership forces?

Originally Posted by Aquila

It was during this wilderness period of being backslidden that she made friends at her work that were into the lifestyle. She got involved with a woman and her husband before I knew anything was going on.

All her fault. You were the dutiful husband going on your way eating cornflakes totally clothed. Then all of a sudden she becomes Super Freak?

Originally Posted by Aquila

When I caught wind of it and she tearfully opened up to me, confessing everything, pleading for me to be patient and forgiving... I was. I loved her. She wanted an open relationship. I didn't know what to do. I was young and stupid. I thought I could be patient, kind, loving and lover her back home. I was wrong. When I finally demanded that everything come to an end and we return to church for pastoral counseling, she decided to tell me that she loved her lifestyle... and that she wanted a divorce.

When we married, I had no indication that she was into swinging. She was only 20 and I was 21. We were young and stupid. Each our first love.

Chris, you were innocent, you were as clean as the new fallen snow.

[Evang.Benincasa]

Originally Posted by Amanah

never thought of it this way before, but it makes sense and I like it, it gets the priorities right

God
Husband
Wife
Children
Church family

Thank you

[Amanah]

who needs TV, we have AFF

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by Evang.Benincasa

You do realize you paint yourself as the innocent party. Go re-read what you posted.

Chris, where is your part in all of this? It looks like you are totally innocent. Furthermore you were the Christian while she was the antichrist?

Listen, I just can't get what you are saying here, leadership can't remarry because it is sin. But a second marriage by some other group is allowed because they receive special grace? Care to show me this through scripture?

Are you on drugs, Elder?

None of that was the point.

I'll TRY to explain it to you again.

Divorces are messy. There is often no way to determine guilty or innocent parties. The church isn't equipped to sort through all the sordid details of most divorces. Therefore, the "exception clauses" become nothing but a popularity contest.

I simply vote that all remarriage is a sin. Couples in second marriages should seek God's forgiveness, mercy, and grace, that their second unions be sanctified and blessed.

No one is entitled to a position in leadership. Especially one who has been the husband of two wives.

[Evang.Benincasa]

Originally Posted by Amanah

who needs TV, we have AFF

Who needs car accidents, here everyone slows down to see the blood.