Do you believe the innocent party in a situation - Page 13

rgcraig · #**121** 05-14-2009, 08:08 AM

Still defrauding is not the sin - adultery is.

The defrauder could have played a part in the decision of the one that chose to commit adultery, but I don't feel they share the sin.

If a wife isn't her marriage weight of 115 after having a few babies and her husband wants a thin lover and tells her that she doesn't turn him on anymore so he goes out and has an affair - do you really think the wife is at fault?

Could the wife try harder to lose the weight to keep the affections of her husband at home - sure. However, the husband has NO RIGHT to go looking somewhere else and blame her. There is a deeper seated problem with him.

*AQuietPlace* · #**122** 05-14-2009, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

This is like the "Burning Bed" scenario. A guy who beats and abuses his wife for so long that eventually she snaps and kills him. Is she just as guilty of murder as someone who would have killed him for his wallet? Is she guilty at all?

At what point, if any, does emotional distancing become so extreme that it is almost impossible for a normal person to resist some form of temptation that crosses their paths?

Your point is very valid, but still... a Christian who is trying to be right with God should use the proper channels to deal with this. Emotional distress can become so intense that you don't think clearly. I think the best case scenario is to just STOP and deal with the situation before it gets so bad that you can't trust your thoughts any longer.

If counseling or other methods don't work, then you'll need to make some decisions. Separate, accept things as they are? You'll need to make a choice, but it needs to be an honorable choice.

While the woman in the Burning Bed certainly gains our sympathy, ultimately what she did was wrong.

Pressing-On · #**123** 05-14-2009, 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rgcraig

Still defrauding is not the sin - adultery is.

The defrauder could have played a part in the decision of the one that chose to commit adultery, but I don't feel they share the sin.

I believe that if the "defrauder" played a part, he/she shares in the sin.

Quote:

If a wife isn't her marriage weight of 115 after having a few babies and her husband wants a thin lover and tells her that she doesn't turn him on anymore so he goes out and has an affair - do you really think the wife is at fault?

Could the wife try harder to lose the weight to keep the affections of her husband at home - sure. However, the husband has NO RIGHT to go looking somewhere else and blame her. There is a deeper seated problem with him.

This scenerio, I feel, is not relating to I Cor 7:5 as you don't indicate that she withheld herself from him over her weight. He probably didn't defraud her either, but was unsatisfied with her and looked elsewhere.

This is an example of what we were speaking about yesterday - not every instance of adultery is related to defrauding.

He should read - Proverbs 5:18 "Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth."

rgcraig · #**124** 05-14-2009, 09:29 AM

We will have to agree to disagree on that point. I do not feel the defrauder shares the sin at all.

I agree that example wasn't directed toward the defrauding scripture - just the general feeling of there not being an innocent party in a divorce. Of course, the husband could be the one defrauding if he was withholding from his wife because he wasn't attracted to her anymore.

Steve Epley · #**125** 05-14-2009, 09:29 AM

NOPE!

Pressing-On · #**126** 05-14-2009, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rgcraig

We will have to agree to disagree on that point. I do not feel the defrauder shares the sin at all.

Okay, we will agree to disagree. You'll have to also disagree with my husband as he and I are in agreement on that one.

Quote:

I agree that example wasn't directed toward the defrauding scripture - just the general feeling of there not being an innocent party in a divorce. Of course, the husband could be the one defrauding if he was withholding from his wife because he wasn't attracted to her anymore.

He certainly could be the one defrauding if she turned him off visually. But, that's okay - his hair will fall out someday.

rgcraig · #**127** 05-14-2009, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

He certainly could be the one defrauding if she turned him off visually. But, that's okay - his hair will fall out someday.

LOL - and get a gut.....lol!

Just a side note not that it matters, but I don't feel this way because it's personal - - defrauding was never a problem in my marriage.

*AQuietPlace* · #**128** 05-14-2009, 09:39 AM

The defrauder is at fault for making their spouse vulnerable. They're not at fault for the choice to commit an actual sin.

NO ONE can make you sin unless they hold a gun to your head. It's called personal responsibility.

People are daily tempted to steal (someone working around money who is about to have their home foreclosed on, their children are without food, etc. - would be very tempted to steal, but still shouldn't), murder (burning bed), etc. No matter the temptation making the deliberate choice to sin is wrong, wrong, wrong.

*AQuietPlace* · #**129** 05-14-2009, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rgcraig

LOL - and get a gut.....lol!

Just a side note not that it matters, but I don't feel this way because it's personal - - defrauding was never a problem in my marriage.

I've observed numerous adultery situations, very few of them were related to defrauding. Most of them were because of emotional reasons. The person wanted to feel like hot stuff with the opposite sex, they were going through a difficult patch in their marriage and finding someone new was an easy fix, or they simply had an adulterous heart. The last one is the most common reason.

Pressing-On · #**130** 05-14-2009, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rgcraig

LOL - and get a gut.....lol!

Quote:

Just a side note not that it matters, but I don't feel this way because it's personal - - defrauding was never a problem in my marriage.

Right. I wanted to point that out earlier as the discussion appeared to be, possibly, broadbrushing in some ways because I kept pointing the discussion back to "defrauding", but I waited until you brought it up.

I had been thinking all along that there are, more than likely, some valuable lessons and insights you could or would have liked to share in order to broaden the scope of the conversation, but being a public forum it is wise of you to use discretion, for your own sake.