Do Your Kids Dress Like Bankers?

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by ForeverBlessed

The last two years I've taken my girls to Holiday Youth Convention. Usually we always have other kids from school with us. Two years ago, my daughter's boyfriend interest at that time (my boss' son) went with us. He made the comment that everyone looked like they were going to the prom or something... yep... they do all right.

Then this past December, two girlfriends from school came with us. I got a hotel room downtown. The girls from school got dressed in their nicest clothes and everyone fixed hair better than normal. I thought they all looked nice.

I stood back and watched as those girls became uncomfortable as they watched the fashion show displayed before them. They felt out of place in their more casual clothing (although they did wear nice skirts and tops). They were astonished at elaborate hair styles... clothes that were outrageous even on the guys...they kept making comments about their clothes not being nice enough. It was one of the first times I saw through the eyes of a visitor.... and I was ashamed at what we call religion.

There is nothing worse than putting someone into a situation where they stick out like sore thumbs... We ended up leaving early when after searching for seats and unable to find one... and so tired of standing.


Personally I am so over all the dress clothes stuff...

Teenagers have enough pressure from the world, they sure don't need it from the church. I think that's what happens when it's not about JESUS, it's about people.

[Falla39]

I would much rather my children and grandchildren dress like princes and princesses
than much of the MESS I see in the world.

We stand out if we are seperate. Some stand out for the world/Hollywood, etc. and
all that goes with worldly attire, activities, etc. I would rather mine stand
UP for JESUS!

Kings Kids SHOULD stand out, not only in attire but in conduct and a discip-lined lifestyle.
Most kids, old and young, run, including in church and that is not necessarily
the way they are in reality. Time will tell what they really are, as they grow.

As the tree is bent, so it will grow.

Recently a former minister, who had backslide, took his little son with him. The boy
started dressing like Daddy and it looked like his broken-hearted mother had lost. The
father divorced his precious wife and the son chose to live with Dad and his new wife.
But after a few years, the new wife got tired of some things, divorced him and now,
since he's lost his job, has come back near the place where his former wife lives. His
older married daughter and her husband has taken him in, until he can find a job.

The boy is now a teenager and has started to come back to church with his mother,
sister & husband and their children. And he's now wearing a suit and tie, and sits over
on the left side of the church, up front, where a number of young, clean-cut young men,
in suits and ties, are worshipping,God in Spirit and in Truth.They were trained up in the
way they SHOULD GO, and now, with the Spirit of Truth in their hearts and lives.

They do it because it has become a part of WHO they are. They don't do it because
it's the thing to do, BUT because of WHO/WHOSE they are!!

Yes, they might look like bankers, but they might also look like "King's kids", raised and
trained up in the family of The King of Kings.

We have a choice! Blend in with the world OR come out from among them,
and be ye seperate, saith the LORD, and touch not the unclean thing; and
I will receive you, and will be a Father unto you, and you shall be my sons
and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty!

No offense intended!

Thankfully,

Falla39

[Falla39]

In the military, you are assigned what to wear and how to do a lot of things.
They even issue the color underwear you WILL wear.

If we serve on a jury, we are instructed as what to wear, including a tie,
if you are a gentleman.

A few years ago, a longtime neighbor, loved the benefits she saw our fam-
ily enjoy from being Christians. But she had a problem with the "disciplined"
lifestyle we chose. Some here would call them standards or rules.

She told me she thought a lot of people would come and enjoy our church
IF we would allow the ladies to wear pants and cut their hair and wear make-
up. So she didn't come often. Usually when she was having problems with her
husband and teenagers.

She got a job with a large company in the Dallas area, owned by a wealthy
man. He was known as a good employer who gave good benefits. My neighbor
told me she loved the company. She said the ladies are required to wear at least
three inch heels, no pantsuits. etc.,etc. Also if any man or woman is found to be
unfaithful to their spouse, they are immediately fired. She said it made her feel
good about herself to dress in a nice ladies suit or skirt and tailored blouse. She
said the company has learned that these "standards" make better
employees. I thought,"Yes,and IF I had said that about the disciplined lifestyle
in the church, you would not have liked it at all". That it seemed to make
some Christians feel better about themselves. Sadly this neighbor has wit
nessed the FOLLY of an unwise decision. It is one thing when you make your
choice, wise or unwise. But it is quite something else when you see the re-
sults of your choice in the lifestyles and lives of your children and grandchildren.
Unwise decisions only get worse unless repented of and reversed.

A few years ago, I went with a pastor and a mother whose daughter had been
incarcarated in a juvenile facility in our county, A sign just inside the facility read
the "rules" about the clothing not allowed inside where the inmates were locked up.
No shorts, etc......! Let's face it! Many humans just do not like discipline or
or be instructed in any way. We choose our lifestyles and our children and
their children usually follow. There are exceptions!

Instead of being thankful for the goodness and blessings of God, those unthank-
ful children of Israel continued to grumble and complain, and God would give
them the desires of their hearts, but sent LEANNESS to their souls.

No offense intended.

Falla39

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by Falla39

I would much rather my children and grandchildren dress like princes and princesses
than much of the MESS I see in the world.

We stand out if we are seperate. Some stand out for the world/Hollywood, etc. and
all that goes with worldly attire, activities, etc. I would rather mine stand
UP for JESUS!

Kings Kids SHOULD stand out, not only in attire but in conduct and a discip-lined lifestyle.
Most kids, old and young, run, including in church and that is not necessarily
the way they are in reality. Time will tell what they really are, as they grow.

As the tree is bent, so it will grow.

Recently a former minister, who had backslide, took his little son with him. The boy
started dressing like Daddy and it looked like his broken-hearted mother had lost. The
father divorced his precious wife and the son chose to live with Dad and his new wife.
But after a few years, the new wife got tired of some things, divorced him and now,
since he's lost his job, has come back near the place where his former wife lives. His
older married daughter and her husband has taken him in, until he can find a job.

The boy is now a teenager and has started to come back to church with his mother,
sister & husband and their children. And he's now wearing a suit and tie, and sits over
on the left side of the church, up front, where a number of young, clean-cut young men,
in suits and ties, are worshipping,God in Spirit and in Truth.They were trained up in the
way they SHOULD GO, and now, with the Spirit of Truth in their hearts and lives.

They do it because it has become a part of WHO they are. They don't do it because
it's the thing to do, BUT because of WHO/WHOSE they are!!

Yes, they might look like bankers, but they might also look like "King's kids", raised and
trained up in the family of The King of Kings.

We have a choice! Blend in with the world OR come out from among them,
and be ye seperate, saith the LORD, and touch not the unclean thing; and
I will receive you, and will be a Father unto you, and you shall be my sons
and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty!

No offense intended!

Thankfully,

Falla39

[Cindy]

Originally Posted by Falla39

In the military, you are assigned what to wear and how to do a lot of things.
They even issue the color underwear you WILL wear.

If we serve on a jury, we are instructed as what to wear, including a tie,
if you are a gentleman.

A few years ago, a longtime neighbor, loved the benefits she saw our fam-
ily enjoy from being Christians. But she had a problem with the "disciplined"
lifestyle we chose. Some here would call them standards or rules.

She told me she thought a lot of people would come and enjoy our church
IF we would allow the ladies to wear pants and cut their hair and wear make-
up. So she didn't come often. Usually when she was having problems with her
husband and teenagers.

She got a job with a large company in the Dallas area, owned by a wealthy
man. He was known as a good employer who gave good benefits. My neighbor
told me she loved the company. She said the ladies are required to wear at least
three inch heels, no pantsuits. etc.,etc. Also if any man or woman is found to be
unfaithful to their spouse, they are immediately fired. She said it made her feel
good about herself to dress in a nice ladies suit or skirt and tailored blouse. She
said the company has learned that these "standards" make better
employees. I thought,"Yes,and IF I had said that about the disciplined lifestyle
in the church, you would not have liked it at all". That it seemed to make
some Christians feel better about themselves. Sadly this neighbor has wit
nessed the FOLLY of an unwise decision. It is one thing when you make your
choice, wise or unwise. But it is quite something else when you see the re-
sults of your choice in the lifestyles and lives of your children and grandchildren.
Unwise decisions only get worse unless repented of and reversed.

A few years ago, I went with a pastor and a mother whose daughter had been
incarcarated in a juvenile facility in our county, A sign just inside the facility read
the "rules" about the clothing not allowed inside where the inmates were locked up.
No shorts, etc......! Let's face it! Many humans just do not like discipline or
or be instructed in any way. We choose our lifestyles and our children and
their children usually follow. There are exceptions!

Instead of being thankful for the goodness and blessings of God, those unthank-
ful children of Israel continued to grumble and complain, and God would give
them the desires of their hearts, but sent LEANNESS to their souls.

No offense intended.

Falla39

[Sam]

Originally Posted by ForeverBlessed

yes Sam....that was another thing that frustrated me that night. I searched all over the balcony area...all over the main area... we would get to a seat that looked to be empty and be told "sorry, someone is sitting here" and after being told that 5-6 times, we went back down to ground level where all those kids were just milling about talking while worship service was going on. I didn't bring them for a fashion show either... so we left.

I had already started looking for a new church, but it was actually one of the final nails in the coffin of my choosing to leave the organization period... I am so totally sick of things that people just seem to be blind to.

One service at the Vineyard (when they were in the old building) I scanned the audience for an empty seat. When I saw one, I went up, squeezed through the row and quickly sat down, thinking, "Thank God, I found a seat before the service began." The person next to me leaned over and said, "My son is sitting in that seat." I said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see him" as I tried to control the anger and sarcasm in my voice and on my face. And then as he started to stammer an explanation, I got up in a huff to try to find another seat.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by ForeverBlessed

The last two years I've taken my girls to Holiday Youth Convention. Usually we always have other kids from school with us. Two years ago, my daughter's boyfriend interest at that time (my boss' son) went with us. He made the comment that everyone looked like they were going to the prom or something... yep... they do all right.

Then this past December, two girlfriends from school came with us. I got a hotel room downtown. The girls from school got dressed in their nicest clothes and everyone fixed hair better than normal. I thought they all looked nice.

I stood back and watched as those girls became uncomfortable as they watched the fashion show displayed before them. They felt out of place in their more casual clothing (although they did wear nice skirts and tops). They were astonished at elaborate hair styles... clothes that were outrageous even on the guys...they kept making comments about their clothes not being nice enough. It was one of the first times I saw through the eyes of a visitor.... and I was ashamed at what we call religion.

What does it have to do with religion? I've been to youth conventions and youth congress too, and usually there's a pretty equal mix of dressed up and the casual, funky crowd.

My daughters are free to dress how they want for youth camp and convention--as long as they're neat, modest and appropriate. I would hope that no one would criticize them whether they dress up or down.

There is nothing worse than putting someone into a situation where they stick out like sore thumbs... We ended up leaving early when after searching for seats and unable to find one... and so tired of standing.


Personally I am so over all the dress clothes stuff...

I know what you mean by this comment, but in a way, I guess you aren't really "over" it, if other people dressing up bothers you and makes you think less of them somehow.

My daughter has a friend that comes to church with her sometimes--she comes from a terrible home--and usually when she comes over she wants to borrow something from Sarah's closet and fix her hair like the girls. And not because they embarrass her or put her down, but because she is trying to emulate them. Our church is NOT the type of place where casual dressers feel out of place.

To me, it sounds like you were projecting a little. JMO. If girls in my presence had done the same (commenting about their clothes), I would have quickly pointed out that everyone is dressed how they want to dress, and they should be comfortable in their own skin and clothes--and then enjoy the service. Sometimes people feel uncomfortable and it is NOT the fault of others! If a child or teenager draws a poor conclusion, then it should be nipped in the bud by a wiser adult--not catered to or agreed with.

I DO realize that some people wear fancy clothes and have a matching haughty attitude--but A. That's not a "religion" problem--it's a "sinful heart" problem, and B. It's just as unfair to assume there's a matching attitude behind haute couture as it is to assume there's a matching attitude behind casual attire. (e.g., casual attitude and approach to God as opposed to taking Him seriously)

I talk to my girls quite a bit about what to wear for different occasions, what's proper, what isn't, what's classy, what's not--but I also tell them all the time to be comfortable in their own skin.

Sarah, in particular, has a funky, colorful style that is definitely ALL HER OWN. She has been known to walk out of the house in colorful striped tights, brown suede boots, a t-shirt, a denim vest, frilly skirt, a blue corduroy newsboy cap and aqua-blue arm warmers. (Yes, I just described one of her actual outfits!) I don't stop her from having her own style just because I wouldn't be caught dead in ANY of that!!!! She doesn't even match sometimes, but with her personality it just somehow works.

If someone made her feel uncomfortable with their appearance only, I would give her a pep talk about how she's fine just like she is, and tell her that she has no way of knowing what that other person is really thinking or feeling! I certainly wouldn't agree with her that the other person was probably looking down on her, and shame on them for being so terrible as to look down on others by dressing in finery.

The truth is, MOST people are just people, no matter how nice their clothes are. Or how 'not' nice their clothes are.

If someone had actually said or did something rude to your girls, I might be better able to understand your post, but to assume that others have a haughty attitude simply because they are dressed up is silly.

I don't get how the presence of others being dressed up means they're responsible for the discomfort of others. Basically what you're saying is that in order for religion to not be something you are "ashamed" of, a casual rule should be imposed, and everyone who wants to be of the higher spiritual ilk should dress casual so as not to make others uncomfortable.

Personally, I think people should be able to wear whatEVER they want when they go to church, as long as it's neat and modest. Freedom needs to extend to everyone, though. It's just as limiting to tell people they shouldn't dress up as it is to tell people they can't come in casual clothes.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by ForeverBlessed

yes Sam....that was another thing that frustrated me that night. I searched all over the balcony area...all over the main area... we would get to a seat that looked to be empty and be told "sorry, someone is sitting here" and after being told that 5-6 times, we went back down to ground level where all those kids were just milling about talking while worship service was going on. I didn't bring them for a fashion show either... so we left.

I had already started looking for a new church, but it was actually one of the final nails in the coffin of my choosing to leave the organization period... I am so totally sick of things that people just seem to be blind to.

ForeverBlessed, we attended the girls' basketball tournaments in Springfield, MO 2-3 weeks ago, and when we went to the award's ceremony, we had to search all over the stadium to find good seats. There were sections saved for teams, families, school groups, etc. BIG DEAL!!! LOL!!!!! It has NOTHING to do with church. For that matter, once we were seated, Jeff had to take Jeffrey to go to the bathroom, and you can be SURE that while they were gone, I was keeping their two seats open.

I wouldn't do that at "regular" church, but at youth conventions you have church groups trying to all sit together, so they don't get stuck with strangers--which, again, is important to kids.

I think it is crazy to judge a bunch of young kids for dressing up. Most teenagers like to look good for their peers--it's important to them. Look at how important it is in school! They may not dress up, but they definitely want whatever is hip and cool, if their parents can afford it. When teenagers go to large gatherings, it is NOT just for spiritual pursuits--and that is the way it should be. They're there to worship AND to socialize.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

What does it have to do with religion? I've been to youth conventions and youth congress too, and usually there's a pretty equal mix of dressed up and the casual, funky crowd.

To me, it sounds like you were projecting a little. JMO. If girls in my presence had done the same (commenting about their clothes), I would have quickly pointed out that everyone is dressed how they want to dress, and they should be comfortable in their own skin and clothes--and then enjoy the service. Sometimes people feel uncomfortable and it is NOT the fault of others! If a child or teenager draws a poor conclusion, then it should be nipped in the bud by a wiser adult--not catered to or agreed with.

I DO realize that some people wear fancy clothes and have a matching haughty attitude--but A. That's not a "religion" problem--it's a "sinful heart" problem, and B. It's just as unfair to assume there's a matching attitude behind haute couture as it is to assume there's a matching attitude behind casual attire. (e.g., casual attitude and approach to God as opposed to taking Him seriously).

The truth is, MOST people are just people, no matter how nice their clothes are. Or how 'not' nice their clothes are.

If someone had actually said or did something rude to your girls, I might be better able to understand your post, but to assume that others have a haughty attitude simply because they are dressed up is silly.

I don't get how the presence of others being dressed up means they're responsible for the discomfort of others. Basically what you're saying is that in order for religion to not be something you are "ashamed" of, a casual rule should be imposed, and everyone who wants to be of the higher spiritual ilk should dress casual so as not to make others uncomfortable.

Personally, I think people should be able to wear whatEVER they want when they go to church, as long as it's neat and modest. Freedom needs to extend to everyone, though. It's just as limiting to tell people they shouldn't dress up as it is to tell people they can't come in casual clothes.

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

ForeverBlessed, we attended the girls' basketball tournaments in Springfield, MO 2-3 weeks ago, and when we went to the award's ceremony, we had to search all over the stadium to find good seats. There were sections saved for teams, families, school groups, etc. BIG DEAL!!! LOL!!!!! It has NOTHING to do with church. For that matter, once we were seated, Jeff had to take Jeffrey to go to the bathroom, and you can be SURE that while they were gone, I was keeping their two seats open.

I wouldn't do that at "regular" church, but at youth conventions you have church groups trying to all sit together, so they don't get stuck with strangers--which, again, is important to kids.

I think it is crazy to judge a bunch of young kids for dressing up. Most teenagers like to look good for their peers--it's important to them. Look at how important it is in school! They may not dress up, but they definitely want whatever is hip and cool, if their parents can afford it. When teenagers go to large gatherings, it is NOT just for spiritual pursuits--and that is the way it should be. They're there to worship AND to socialize.

[jaxfam6]

I was raised dressing in suits and ties to go to church, camp, conference, the whole nine yards. We did not go to Bible study without a suit and tie on.
Moved to AZ and started going to church in 100 plus degrees for about 7 months of the year and realized real fast just how STUPID and unnecessary it is. Our pastor has gone to a casual setting. We have people who dress up and people who dress casual, on the platform and off. NO ONE is allowed to say anything to anyone about how they dress. Youth camp is the same way. Many kids do dress up but for the most part it is rather casual. My boys do not even own suits any more. I have one. It is a tux and used only for special occasions that call for it.