Pastors, how do you handle it when...

[Jodiah91]

It's interesting this topic has came up. . .we were just talking on this very thing in our young peoples class this past Sunday. Our youth pastor, who also teaches the class, really hit hard on the 18-22/23 year old guys in the class about being responsible, mentoring and being an example to the 12/13 year old guys that are up and coming in the youth group. How giving your word is a committment and when given, should be kept, especially when given to the works of God and the ministry. Lack of responsibility in the little things will often bleed over into lack of responsibility in the bigger things. I think it's important not only for young guys but girls as well that responsibility, accountability, integrity, etc is taught. I agree that today's young generation have no accountability and expect everything handed to them.

[Jodiah91]

Originally Posted by revrandy

There are soooo many varibles to this it's hard to nail it down without knowing the particulars...

What if his wife is just preachy and bossy?

What if she constantly compares him to others??

What if she won't let up and give the man a breaK??

Is he genuinly lazy or is a escape from the reality of his marriage??

So many things add into this.. personally I would have to see both sides
before making a judgement against him or her whatever the case may be...

It is God's intended role for the man to be the head of the family. If the wife is 'wearing the pants' in the relationship then she is usurping the authority Gond intended man to have. . .and she's wrong. This is at times hard for me because I am very opinionated and when I have to submit to my husband's authority and decisions on certain things. . .well let's just say it's hard But I'm getting better at it.

[Jodiah91]

Originally Posted by Pastor Poster

Are you really serious?!

You think a grown man that:

1. doesn't work,
2. lives off of mom and dad,
3. won't go to college,
4. is over the age of 20,
5. won't help in any of the programs of the church,

Should be able to stand up in business meetings and planning sessions and dictate the direction of the church and how tithe and offering money should be spent? Do you think it's okay for him to stand publicly and tell everyone how things should be handled?

I am seriously concerned if you do.


BTW, crazyhomie says he never rebukes people publicly while in the same breath rebuking me?


The guy has a problem. Seriously.

NO!

[triumphant1]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Good points. I agree. I think these are sinful behaviors. (laziness, not providing for family)



True, and I have seen some men who provide monetarily, but otherwise they're neglectful, and in some cases outright abusive. So providing has to be more than just a roof over their heads. On the flip side, I've seen some of the nicest, laid back, "fun" dads...whose big downfall was...not providing financial support.



I wish you had put something in your post I could object to. LOL. I agree, men who don't provide for their families, shouldn't be in positions of leadership. I do think its important to note that "provision" doesn't necessarily mean "providing wealth", but rather, providing necessities, and working hard in general.



Its very important. I wish more churches offered marital classes or family classes. (Parenting, financial planning, etc)

It just seems to me that if men are full of integrity, and can learn how to care for and lead their own families, following godly principles, that those leadership skills will naturally allow better leadership in the church.

We do offer these classes...matter of fact we just took our couples through Gary Smalley's "Homes of Honor" series...we are presently offering Dave Ramsey's "Financial Peace University"....and at our mens retreat 2 weeks ago we dealt with Dr. Doug Weiss' "God, Sex, and Men" including a "For Men Only" DVD where he deals with the issues very bluntly!!!!

THis type of teaching is a staple part of our discipleship process.

[Hegavmelif]

Originally Posted by crazyhomie

Everything reproduces after its own kind. its the most fundamental law of God.

ABSOLUTELY!! I completely agree. Some men get caught up in their arrogance and just spit out anything - all in the name of God and his precious, holy annointing.

By the way, I am not a pastor, but I have been involved in ministry in some capacity since I was a young adult. One does not need to be a pastor to know the manner in which humanity should be treated.

Originally Posted by Hegavmelif

[/B]

ABSOLUTELY!! I completely agree. Some men get caught up in their arrogance and just spit out anything - all in the name of God and his precious, holy annointing.

By the way, I am not a pastor, but I have been involved in ministry in some capacity since I was a young adult. One does not need to be a pastor to know the manner in which humanity should be treated.

You are right in the bolded statement.. you could even be Jesus Christ, both God and humanity... and this is how you deal with other humanity that is out of line and in sin...

Mat 12:33 Either make the tree good, and his fruit good; or else make the tree corrupt, and his fruit corrupt: for the tree is known by his fruit.
Mat 12:34 O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.

Mat 23:33 Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?
Mat 23:34 Wherefore, behold, I send unto you prophets, and wise men, and scribes: and some of them ye shall kill and crucify; and some of them shall ye scourge in your synagogues, and persecute them from city to city:
Mat 23:35 That upon you may come all the righteous blood shed upon the earth, from the blood of righteous Abel unto the blood of Zechariah son of Barachias, whom ye slew between the temple and the altar.
Mat 23:36 Verily I say unto you, All these things shall come upon this generation.
Mat 23:37 O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as, a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!
Mat 23:38 Behold, your house is left unto you desolate.
Mat 23:39 For I say unto you, Ye shall not see me henceforth till ye shall say, Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord.

Now argue with the words of Jesus if you thing public rebuke is never in order.

Cry aloud and spare not!

[delta soundman]

Just a question for Pastor Poster. How long have you been a pastor?

[Nahum]

Originally Posted by delta soundman

Just a question for Pastor Poster. How long have you been a pastor?

Seven years, and I assisted for over a decade prior to that. How about you Friend? Are you a pastor?

[delta soundman]

Originally Posted by Pastor Poster

Seven years, and I assisted for over a decade prior to that. How about you Friend? Are you a pastor?

Oh no! I'm not a pastor. I'm actually the guy delta guitar referred to earlier in this thread. No way I could be a pastor. I tend to handle the dirty work around the church. As you see by my name I'm the soundman so there is a few layers of tough skin there. For the past few years I handled spats that would arise between platform members, singers, musicians, various ministry folks. I told my pastor a long time ago that I would not come to him with avery nit picking problem that arose among "saints" that were on the platform. I instead told him I would deal with these situations and if I went to far just yank my coatails and I would back away. Being the soundman puts me in the position to se certain people in situations that my pastor isn't around to witness. I would generally take one of these folks aside away from the crowd and explain to them the way their actions looked to others in the church. Their attitudes, lack of dedication, or sense of entitlement that comes with people that have been born and raised in Pentecost. Like I said, the dirty work. I'm very analitical in thought. I'm very concerned in the impression that church members and vistors get from ministry on our platform. There have been a few that would go to the pastor and complain about the strong and ,in some cases, heavy handed approach I took with them. He would ask them why I i did or said what did to them. By the end of their conversation with the pastor they would see the error of their ways. I think every pastor needs one of those guys in their church. Micromanagement will kill a pastor. I know this was a long answer to just say "no I'm not a pastor."
I tend to do hat sometimes. God bless.
DS

[Nahum]

Originally Posted by delta soundman

Oh no! I'm not a pastor. I'm actually the guy delta guitar referred to earlier in this thread. No way I could be a pastor. I tend to handle the dirty work around the church. As you see by my name I'm the soundman so there is a few layers of tough skin there. For the past few years I handled spats that would arise between platform members, singers, musicians, various ministry folks. I told my pastor a long time ago that I would not come to him with avery nit picking problem that arose among "saints" that were on the platform. I instead told him I would deal with these situations and if I went to far just yank my coatails and I would back away. Being the soundman puts me in the position to se certain people in situations that my pastor isn't around to witness. I would generally take one of these folks aside away from the crowd and explain to them the way their actions looked to others in the church. Their attitudes, lack of dedication, or sense of entitlement that comes with people that have been born and raised in Pentecost. Like I said, the dirty work. I'm very analitical in thought. I'm very concerned in the impression that church members and vistors get from ministry on our platform. There have been a few that would go to the pastor and complain about the strong and ,in some cases, heavy handed approach I took with them. He would ask them why I i did or said what did to them. By the end of their conversation with the pastor they would see the error of their ways. I think every pastor needs one of those guys in their church. Micromanagement will kill a pastor. I know this was a long answer to just say "no I'm not a pastor."
I tend to do hat sometimes. God bless.
DS

Most pastors would love to have someone strong and committed like you Bro.

I think some must have misunderstood my earlier posts on this thread. I don't go around rebuking people all of the time. This was an isolated incident that required immediate attention.