This Is Why We Get a Bad Rap!!

[Dordrecht]

Originally Posted by pelathais

Yes I see your point, after re-reading Dordrecht's post it does seem to be confrontational toward Sherri's original post.

I guess you could look at it this way - "Sherri, the ex-UPCer is gossiping and spreading scandalous tales about someone and won't even back it up..."

That's kind of the take I get from Dordrecht. The problem is: The blog is also from an "exUPCer" -so anything Sherri may say would be self deprecatory as she herself has indicated by her title selection.

So, the real "scandal" appears to be that Sherri is concerned about gossips gossiping about "exUPCers" in general and the "bad name" that gets hung on people. Hardly a scandal, in my opinion.

So we're back to the real problem: there is apparently an audience that wishes to read the "exUPC" pastor's wife's blog's PG-17 language and that audience has no material to read.

I did not even know about Sherri being an exUPC'er.

My concern is about gossip without proof.


But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.

[pelathais]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

I didn't think Sherri was backbiting, but I do agree that it is gossip. There is no way to deny that. Gossip is always repeating a story, conversation, etc. that tarnishes a person's reputation or reflects negatively toward another person - whether they've done that to themselves or not - it's still gossip if we repeat that in a conversation.
...

My angst on the subject is the broadbrush toward a conservative group of people when I KNOW people that are not in the UPC or other conservative movements having their own mistakes being made.

You say "gossip" like it's always a bad thing. It can actually be quite useful if we were to use your definitions here. If I told you that a neighbor of your's got a traffic ticket, that would be "gossip."

If I added the detail that he got the ticket at a particular "speed trap" - then that's "news you can use."

If further details were to be revealed, like there being a large number of fatal accidents at that location which warranted a higher police presence - then I might even save your life with this "gossip."

Here's an interesting article from an anthropologist discussing the importance of "gossip" in human success and survival:

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=...ence-of-gossip

[n david]

Originally Posted by KWSS1976

Yea I am still trying to figure out what going on since I cannot read it and it is not posted...LOL

Apparently a pastors wife cursed on a public blog (used the real ones, not the little iffy ones) and wrote about drinking ... context unknown as you're correct, source is unknown and hasn't been posted.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

I agree with you to a degree, but not totally. Let me focus on this quote you made:



I was this person, after moving miles away from home, and landing in Houston, Texas. We were raised with a good moral compass, but no way as strict as a conservative apostolic/pentecostal church, yet.....the country mouse had come to town!

I understand what you are saying, but the difference I see is you weren't "in the church" - - yes, it's going to happen to all sides, all walks, in church or out of church people.

However, the point I think that Sherri is trying to make is this minister's wife knows how everyone in her ex-church feels about cursing - - it would be a stumbling block for most. So, why does she feel the need to do so? Why so "in your face?"

I still feel like it's the rebelliousness in her spirit and the intentional hurt she wanted to hurl out there.

I knows many, many people that are no longer UPC and in my opinion and experience those that were raised in stricter churches tend to rebel the hardest.

[pelathais]

Originally Posted by Dordrecht

I did not even know ...

But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.

Including those words? Just wondering.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

So you had a good moral compass and chose to be bad anyway.

*shrug* Been there myself.

Sure! Not one was watching me and I was miles from home!

I will back up and say that I do agree with you on people being taught to live for the pastor and follow him, almost, without personal convictions. I was in that type of environment as a new convert at age 26. Nevertheless, I talked to God and He, alone, forged my path and put convictions in my heart. So, I can only blame an individual for resting on the hopes of a man. Perhaps, to be kind to some that have experienced that, I'm very sure it is my personality to not put my faith in a man alone.

My husband told me last night that he knew I didn't love him when I married him. I didn't know, all these years, that he knew that. We've come a long way!! I love him and trust him now! He asked me why I married him. I said, "Because I thought that I needed to take care of you."

So, long story short - it wouldn't be me to put all of my trust in a man - ever. Just my journey and observations along the way.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by pelathais

You say "gossip" like it's always a bad thing. It can actually be quite useful if we were to use your definitions here. If I told you that a neighbor of your's got a traffic ticket, that would be "gossip."

If I added the detail that he got the ticket at a particular "speed trap" - then that's "news you can use."

If further details were to be revealed, like there being a large number of fatal accidents at that location which warranted a higher police presence - then I might even save your life with this "gossip."

Here's an interesting article from an anthropologist discussing the importance of "gossip" in human success and survival:

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=...ence-of-gossip

I'm sorry, I'll have to read the article later. I really am spending more time here today, than I have time for.

What was useful in repeating what a carnal person may have put in their blog?

[tbpew]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Sure! Not one was watching me and I was miles from home!

I will back up and say that I do agree with you on people being taught to live for the pastor and follow him, almost, without personal convictions. I was in that type of environment as a new convert at age 26. Nevertheless, I talked to God and He, alone, forged my path and put convictions in my heart. So, I can only blame an individual for resting on the hopes of a man. Perhaps, to be kind to some that have experienced that, I'm very sure it is my personality to not put my faith in a man alone.

My husband told me last night that he knew I didn't love him when I married him. I didn't know, all these years, that he knew that. We've come a long way!! I love him and trust him now! He asked me why I married him. I said, "Because I thought that I needed to take care of you."

So, long story short - it wouldn't be me to put all of my trust in a man - ever. Just my journey and observations along the way.

PO Rocks.

You can NEVER FIND a GOLDSTAR emoticon when you need one!

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

I understand what you are saying, but the difference I see is you weren't "in the church" - - yes, it's going to happen to all sides, all walks, in church or out of church people.

However, the point I think that Sherri is trying to make is this minister's wife knows how everyone in her ex-church feels about cursing - - it would be a stumbling block for most. So, why does she feel the need to do so? Why so "in your face?"

I still feel like it's the rebelliousness in her spirit and the intentional hurt she wanted to hurl out there.

I know many, many people that are no longer UPC and in my opinion and experience those that were raised in stricter churches tend to rebel the hardest.

I can agree that you are seeing what has been your environment. I can only see what has been mine. I have seen and continue to see failure all around me - in all denominations. So, this woman's blog doesn't startle me.

Yes, I agree that her spirit is in need of healing. But, I stand by my remarks that I don't think it's backbiting, but I do agree that it's gossiping.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

I'm sorry, I'll have to read the article later. I really am spending more time here today, than I have time for.

What was useful in repeating what a carnal person may have put in their blog?

I think the purpose is in her title - making a statement.

Speaking for myself just because you leave an organization MANY automatically believe you are lost. People like Sherri and I deal with that - - just because I left UPC doesn't mean I'm a lost sinner. So, when someone goes and does something silly like this minister's wife (so in your face) it really irks you and does give others a bad rap.