Trumpcare: Pre-existing Conditions Not Covered - Page 10

n david · #91 05-18-2017, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aquila

I was first married at 21. If you never fantasized about that wedding night leading up to the wedding date, you're a better man than me. But, I'll tell you something. I had it all mapped out. I knew the plan going in. Every move. From foreplay to cuddling and going to sleep. After all was said and done, she was in a daze. She even accused me of studying for it and wanted to know what book I had read. lol

Oh, I thought about that night. But I didn't fantasize about it to satisfy myself.

Congrats??

n david · #92 05-18-2017, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aquila

Well, I do know this. As other young men became so discouraged by constant failure, I had joy and confidence in Christ.

You had joy and confidence in Christ while masturbating? You had joy and confidence in Christ after having fantasized about having sex with a woman in order to satisfy yourself?

Am I reading this right?

jediwill83 · #93 05-18-2017, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by n david

You can try to explain it how you will, it doesn't change the fact that fantasizing sexually about a woman is the same as lust and lust is sin.

Seriously, all one needs to do is look at the definition:

Fantasize:
indulge in daydreaming about something desired.
imagine (something that one wants to happen).

"Something desired." "Something that one wants to happen." It's lust and it's sin. Only by a different name. Jesus said that to look at a woman that way is a sin.

Just because your pastor may have an issue with lust and used that excuse to cover his sin doesn't mean it's right. I would bet a quick check of his PC and phone would turn up all kinds of filth.

The sin you defend is the sin you're in....at least that's how I've heard it said.

Aquila · #94 05-18-2017, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by n david

I agree with what you wrote here. Absolutely. It's fine to be physically attracted to your future spouse. I have no disagreement with this.

But what you wrote is not the same as what we've been discussing. What you wrote here isn't about masturbation, which is where the train initially went off the rails.

There's a chasm of difference between being physically attracted to the opposite sex and fantasizing about having sex with them in your mind in order to satisfy yourself.

I was only responding to this post....

Quote:

A long time ago, I was 22. I asked a Pastor about this and the greater implications for a single young man. He actually did not advise against doing this deed if a person could somehow be mechanical about it, i.e. not lust.

I think today, if I had a son, I would just advise against it while making sure to emphasize the Grace that is there for the single man that takes matters into their own hands regarding this sin.

I've heard that too back in the day. But I mean seriously, what is a man to think about, the latest subprime interest rates on John Deer tractors? LOL
So, I responded with a similar conversation that I had with a pastor I had growing up,

Quote:

I asked my pastor about this too back in the day. He said it wasn't a sin, but that one shouldn't lust. I told him I didn't think it was possible to not lust and masturbate. He looked at me and said, "Son, a man knows the difference between fantasy and lust."

He's right. There is a difference.

That guidance helped me understand the difference between normal and healthy desires and interests that I should feel no condemnation over and actual "lust".

I'll confess something here. I'm not proud of it and it sickens me to remember my condition. I didn't always live for God. When I was in the military I strayed quite a bit from the path of Christ. I remember what it was like to look across the bar and see a woman and determine in my heart to see how far I might be able to go. I remember what it was like to order a woman another drink, knowing that her resistance is getting weaker with every sip. I remember what it was like to make her laugh and weave a web of seduction. Those thoughts and intentions of the heart are so far beyond a mere fantasy. All I can say is that it is pure selfishness, evil. I'd get so far and then my conscience would kick in. But before that, I knew my intentions were not of God. I know and understand what Jesus meant when He said if a man looks upon a woman to lust after her, he's already committed adultery with her in his heart. My heart was already set on the evil intent before I said, hello.

I'm not bragging. I'm ashamed. I've only dug up these old bones to try to help explain what I'm saying. There is a difference between a single person having a fantasy by candle light in the bathtub on a cold and lonely night... and truly looking upon a woman with the intent to commit adultery. Knowing that difference, I can't blast some young single, who is struggling with their sexual needs, and accuse them of adultery. Maybe I'm just a big softy. But I just can't do that.

Now, I might be wrong. If I've offended you in any way, let me be the first to stop and apologize right here. That wasn't my intention. We've talked before and I've really enjoyed the conversations and I deeply respect you. If I am wrong, I welcome your prayers. But I'd be wrong to pretend not to have this perspective just to fit in. I've got to be authentic about who I am and what I think, even if I'm mistaken. I'm not going to pretend to agree if I don't. After all, why do that? I'm going to stand before the Lord one day and own it anyway, right or wrong.

I think lying about some things is often worse than just being honest and telling it as you see it. I don't mean any offense. I hope I didn't offend you. If I did, I apologize.

Quote:

(I'm trying very hard to be as clean as possible. I could post much more detail, but I don't believe it's appropriate in mixed company.)

I can respect that. I am too. But some subjects take a degree of frankness to convey the proper emphasis or nuance. If I've offended in any way brother, I apologize.

Aquila · #95 05-18-2017, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by n david

Oh, I thought about that night. But I didn't fantasize about it to satisfy myself.

Congrats??

Hey, you're a better man that I. LOL

My point was, even if you had, I don't see it as being wrong in any way. Your desires for her are a holy thing. Every last detail of those desires. You're body's desire for her and response to the thought of her, a holy thing.

Hey, remember, I'm pretty liberal. So, I'm probably not going to see exactly what you see. And we're both going lob Bible verses at each other and dissect them. I don't want to convince you to do or agree to anything you find offensive. At best, I pray you can at least see why I believe what I do. And that maybe you can understand how I came to the conclusions I have. Not to change your mind. But to just earn your respect. Really, let's face it. Every post on here is debating, or sharing, or expounding upon something. We all know that 9 out of 10 times nobody will change their minds and agree with us 100%. So, I don't think that's our deeper motive. I think our deeper motive is to simply have a brother or a sister who will respect us and understand us, even if they don't entirely agree. And I want to tell you that I do see where you get your understanding. And although I don't entirely agree. I do respect your position. I don't want you to think that I think any ill towards you in any way. You're a bit crazy in my opinion, but if that's the real you, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Love you bro.

Aquila · #96 05-18-2017, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by n david

You had joy and confidence in Christ while masturbating? You had joy and confidence in Christ after having fantasized about having sex with a woman in order to satisfy yourself?

Am I reading this right?

No. I wouldn't word it that way. LOL

I had confidence that I was normal (as normal as normal can be in an imperfect world). That God made me a man. That all things were pure. That He designed me to desire a woman and a woman to desire me. That He designed me to respond to that desire in various ways given context. And that His desire for me was to fulfill those desires in actuality with the woman I would marry.

I had no sense of condemnation. Only loving acceptance.

Aquila · #97 05-18-2017, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jediwill83

The sin you defend is the sin you're in....at least that's how I've heard it said.

I can assure you that at 41 years of age and a few extra pounds, I'm not sitting here rounding up the outlaws all day. lol

I just shared the perspective I was taught. I didn't even bring it up.