How close should a pastor get to the members? - Page 10

Charnock · #91 12-11-2008, 04:13 PM

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Originally Posted by Charnock

I once heard a wise man, while speaking to a group of pastors, say that "there are people dying to get closer to their pastor, and the minute they succeed, they will hate him."

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Originally Posted by ManOfWord

I have never had that happen. I think many times pastors fulfill their own fears and "torpedo" some of those relationships because they are insecure or fearful. Maybe some of those have a good reason to disrespect the pastor if he is not living the life. I'm not talking about perfection.

I disagree.

Our culture lacks the respect it once had for authority, and that extends to anyone in the ministry. It wouldn't matter if a preacher were perfect are not, some would still find ways to disrespect and criticize him.

Innocuous · #92 12-11-2008, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ManOfWord

I have never had that happen. I think many times pastors fulfill their own fears and "torpedo" some of those relationships because they are insecure or fearful. Maybe some of those have a good reason to disrespect the pastor if he is not living the life. I'm not talking about perfection.

I agree. In my experience, both as a pastor and a 'saint', I have found that when people are around a humble and open pastor they tend to respect him more and they tend to give him the benefit of the doubt more often as they see him as more human and are thus more willing to overlook and work around/with his foibles. Those that are going to attack you are going to attack you no matter if you're open or if you're closed.

Sister Alvear · #93 12-11-2008, 04:16 PM

I feel that our people respect me very much...most know ahead of time how I will react in any given situation. They know I am not perfect and may have chewed gum in a church service or two...but they also know I will sit with them when they are sick, help them raise money for their many projects, babysit their kids if needed and take off into the middle of nowhere to visit some lost relative they have...
They have seen me travel with only a bus ticket and no money for food, they have seen me drive new cars and have no car...they have seen me go through deaths, robberies, lawsuits, build churches, bury the dead and even deliver babies...they have seen me help people that stabbed me and reach out to help again…
After 40 years your people know you like a book…they know I hate lies and people that deceive. They know I am systematic and they laugh about it…
Yet in it all letters, cards and calls come from all over Brazil telling me of their great love for me…So for my personality my method has worked…

ManOfWord · #94 12-11-2008, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charnock

I disagree.

Our culture lacks the respect it once had for authority, and that extends to anyone in the ministry. It wouldn't matter if a preacher were perfect are not, some would still find ways to disrespect and criticize him.

If they don't respect the ministry, then they probably don't respect the minister. I think the pastor gets what he preaches and gets returned the way he treats people. If he is unmerciful, then he can expect others to find fault. I'ts his fault for teaching them that. D:

ManOfWord · #95 12-11-2008, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sister Alvear

I feel that our people respect me very much...most know ahead of time how I will react in any given situation. They know I am not perfect and may have chewed gum in a church service or two...but they also know I will sit with them when they are sick, help them raise money for their many projects, babysit their kids if needed and take off into the middle of nowhere to visit some lost relative they have...
They have seen me travel with only a bus ticket and no money for food, they have seen me drive new cars and have no car...they have seen me go through deaths, robberies, lawsuits, build churches, bury the dead and even deliver babies...they have seen me help people that stabbed me and reach out to help again…
After 40 years your people know you like a book…they know I hate lies and people that deceive. They know I am systematic and they laugh about it…
Yet in it all letters, cards and calls come from all over Brazil telling me of their great love for me…So for my personality my method has worked…

I think that happens to be Jesus' method as well! Amazing how well that works!

Amos · #96 12-11-2008, 04:18 PM

I am not a big fan of a lot of counseling. It rarely helps much, and creating a reliance on it keeps people spiritually immature.

Obviously there are exceptions, such as crises and emergencies, but Igenerally ask people if they have spent signifigant time praying about their dilemma before I am going to spend much time talking to them about it. If they haven't, I tell them to spend some time praying and fasting, and get back with me if they are still stuck...

Most of the time that does the trick.

After several years of that modus operandi, I don't get a whole lot of requests for counseling sessions.

Charnock · #97 12-11-2008, 04:19 PM

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Originally Posted by Charnock

I have really tried to create an environment of God-reliance in our church. I refuse to counsel people about what kind of car they should drive and the like.

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Originally Posted by Amos

That is wise.

I feel the same way.

I tell our folks that they have access to the same God and the same Bible I do.

I do my best to teach them good life principles, and let them work out the application of those principles in their own personal situations through prayer and seeking the mind of the Spirit.

As a bivocational pastor, I simply cannot become bogged down with things that can be handled individually. Usually those sorts of things can be changed with common sense and prayer.

I also believe that most crises could be averted if people would really apply the Word of God to their lives. Specifically, the word that God speaks through their pastor.

Praxeas · #98 12-11-2008, 04:21 PM

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Originally Posted by U376977

Familiarity breeds disrespect and discontent.

Then the Pastor should have NO Friends whatsoever or a wife and kids. Lord knows the Pastors job is hard enough taking care of the dumb sheep without a wife that is discontent and disrespectful as well as kids...in fact the bible makes that a disqualification for being one.

BTW is that a verse in the bible?

Charnock · #99 12-11-2008, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ManOfWord

If they don't respect the ministry, then they probably don't respect the minister. I think the pastor gets what he preaches and gets returned the way he treats people. If he is unmerciful, then he can expect others to find fault. I'ts his fault for teaching them that. D:

Of course.

This is the greatest personal truth I have known.

>We reap what we sow.<

I suppose we are saying the same thing.

I just see a general disrespect for the sacred, and that extends to ministry. I am not speaking of a personal circumstance.

Praxeas · #**100** 12-11-2008, 04:23 PM

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Originally Posted by keith4him

I have seen both sides, I got close then got burned badly, yet I agree with the clergy and lay person separation as being unscriptural and doesn't produce true discipleship.

So I guesss somewhere in the middle.

. You can get close to a Pastor or non Pastor and still get burned. You either have to roll with it or hide in a cave. This is the life of a human being, not a pastor