You found your spouse looking at porn..again...

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Aquila,
"intense sexual desire" for someone your are not married to is "normal"?

I don't think so.

It was for me and my wife. Remember, I'm speaking in the context of two who are in love before marriage. Me and my wife were crazy about each other before we were married. She was all I could think about. lol Yes, there was an intense attraction and desire there.

I've never met a couple who said that their sexual interest in each other was, well, "so so" or, "could take it or leave it". lol

I'd say that if a man has a intense sexual interest in a woman he works with he needs to repent and take a chill pill.

My point is that I'd like to make sure that we don't demonize every sexual thought or feeling. Some single men read these things and walk away feeling utterly condemned for what's actually just normal human feelings and interests. I'm just trying to keep a balance here.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by Aquila

It was for me and my wife. Remember, I'm speaking in the context of two who are in love before marriage. Me and my wife were crazy about each other before we were married. She was all I could think about. lol Yes, there was an intense attraction and desire there.

I've never met a couple who said that their sexual interest in each other was, well, "so so" or, "could take it or leave it". lol

I'd say that if a man has a intense sexual interest in a woman he works with he needs to repent and take a chill pill.

My point is that I'd like to make sure that we don't demonize every sexual thought or feeling. Some single men read these things and walk away feeling utterly condemned for what's actually just normal human feelings and interests. I'm just trying to keep a balance here.

Sounds pretty balanced to me Aquila. Sometimes I think we do more harm than good when we micromanage people's sexual thoughts.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Aquila

It was for me and my wife. Remember, I'm speaking in the context of two who are in love before marriage. Me and my wife were crazy about each other before we were married. She was all I could think about. lol Yes, there was an intense attraction and desire there.

I've never met a couple who said that their sexual interest in each other was, well, "so so" or, "could take it or leave it". lol

I'd say that if a man has a intense sexual interest in a woman he works with he needs to repent and take a chill pill.

My point is that I'd like to make sure that we don't demonize every sexual thought or feeling. Some single men read these things and walk away feeling utterly condemned for what's actually just normal human feelings and interests. I'm just trying to keep a balance here.

Thanks, Aquila. I apologize for not thoroughly reading your post. I did misunderstand you. I've been so busy of late that I am not paying close enough attention before I respond. I noticed I've done that about three or four times in the past week or two! I need to either slow down or stop logging in. LOL!

I apologize again - I agree with your posts!!!

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Thanks, Aquila. I apologize for not thoroughly reading your post. I did misunderstand you. I've been so busy of late that I am not paying close enough attention before I respond. I noticed I've done that about three or four times in the past week or two! I need to either slow down or stop logging in. LOL!

I apologize again - I agree with your posts!!!

Hey, Pressing ...that's cool. Sometimes my posts don't adequately convey the message I'm trying to communicate. That makes it even more complicated. lol You're alright in my book. God bless ya.

[Godsdrummer]

Originally Posted by Aquila

Hey, Pressing ...that's cool. Sometimes my posts don't adequately convey the message I'm trying to communicate. That makes it even more complicated. lol You're alright in my book. God bless ya.

You have that problem too LOL I thought I only had to sit and read and reread my notes a dozen times to make sure I was exlpressing what I was thinking.

[LUKE2447]

Originally Posted by Aquila

I think we have to be a little careful here. This might shock some, but I don't think a sexual thought about someone who isn't your wife is automatically a "sin". Let me explain why. Before many are married they are absolutely crazy about each other. They can't get each other off their minds. Yes, they often have very passionate thoughts about each other. No doubt they look at each other and "day dream" about being intimate. They fill each others minds night and day. They aren't married yet...is it a sin? I don't think so. Because Jesus said, ...

Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Intense sexual desire for or attraction to someone you're not married to isn't automatically "lust". Frankly, that's normal. If it wasn't...few would marry because a big part of marriage is fulfillment of sexual needs. Those needs and interest normally exist well before two are married.

Now if a man looks at a woman with the intent to fulfill their desires outside of marriage, without any regard to God's law and her welfare, with the sole intent of using her as an object to fulfill his baser instincts...he'd be looking at her "to lust after her" and thereby would be committing adultery in his heart.

My only point is that sexual interests outside of marriage are not automatically adultery. Intent of the heart is something that has to be considered. An attractive coworker, model, or young lady walking down the street might catch a man's eye and he have some sexual thought or interest about her, but if he isn't looking at her with any intent to actually pursue...he's not sinned. It's normal. He's a man. I fear that sometimes we keep men living under constant condemnation for normal things that just come along with being a man.

Considering polygamy is not sin Aquila looking upon a unmarried woman is not sin. (Here we go with you know what... I apologize in advance)

[ReformedDave]

Originally Posted by Aquila

I'd say that if a man has a intense sexual interest in a woman he works with he needs to repent and take a chill pill.

'Chill pill'? As in saltpeter?!

[Trouvere]

Sin is sin. Pornography if not repented of leads to other things. You cannot keep
trampling under foot the blood of the covenant. Viewing pornography is being
disobedient to Jesus. I doubt that it can be done in Jesus name and we are told
that whatsoever we do in word or deed to do all in the Name of Christ Jesus.
We can try to define it and redefine it to justify the behavior but the truth is
the behavior is sinful and we cannot though we love the person justify the
sin. King David moved from watching Bathsheba on the rooftop to taking her
into his bedchamber. He went from one bad state to another.
To the person married to the person who is involved in this sin. Don't carry it on
you own if they do not repent be they male or female. Not just men view porn.
Regardless if you think its not an act of adultry it is an act of perversion.
A man or woman who is committed to either or both Jesus or their spouse
would not think of viewing pornography. There is a heart issue involved.
If you are catching the person and married to them remember you are not their
mother or father and chances are the marriage is already in more trouble than
being expressed.
I have heard over various pulpits that it takes two to destroy a marriage. The
person saying this has always had a perfect home life. The truth is it only takes
one to destroy a marriage and sin will do it. Urriahs wife could have told King
David no. She did not. She was bathing there on the roof top while he was
innocently in battle serving the nation. He had nothing to do with ruining the
marriage or causing his own innocent death.