Divorce?

erika.whitten · #1 02-02-2014, 02:53 PM

My husband and I have been together for about 8 years. We met at a UPCI church and he has been back maybe twice since then and refuses to go to church and told me that he doesn't really believe in God about 6 months ago.

He cleans absolutely nothing, not even cleaning up after himself but will just put trash on the table next to the trash can and just seems to refuse to throw anything away or clean anything up. He does no laundry or dishes at all.

He takes a shower about once a month. It used to be like once a week and for a time he was working at Wendy's and took a shower every day then but its just gotten worse over time.

He does work a regular 40 hour week at a pretty good job just like I do but from the moment he gets home till he goes to sleep, he sits at his computer and plays video games. He eats at his computer and occasionally we will go out or we will watch a show together but that's it.

Anytime I mention anything about cleaning or showering or anything like that it leads to a big fight and we don't speak for hours after that.

He would never EVER go to counseling. I love him so much but I just don't know what to do anymore...

erika.whitten · #2 02-02-2014, 03:11 PM

He also refuses to brush his teeth. It's been probably a year since he brushed them. He just says there is no point that they are a lost cause.

crakjak · #3 02-02-2014, 03:19 PM

Sounds like he is in depression, and feels everything is meaningless?

erika.whitten · #4 02-02-2014, 03:29 PM

So am I but I still manage to shower and brush my teeth and then come home after working all day long and clean up his mess and make dinner for everyone.

Amanah · #5 02-02-2014, 03:31 PM

maybe you can find a christian counselor to get advice from? sounds like there are some emotional problems?

Praxeas · #6 02-02-2014, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crakjak

Sounds like he is in depression, and feels everything is meaningless?

That was my first thought

Praxeas · #7 02-02-2014, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by erika.whitten

So am I but I still manage to shower and brush my teeth and then come home after working all day long and clean up his mess and make dinner for everyone.

Not "sadness", but "clinical depression"...in fact if it's true Im surprised he is able to even work.

http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/major-depression

Sasha · #8 02-02-2014, 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Praxeas

That was my first thought

Mine as well.

KeptByTheWord · #9 02-03-2014, 08:29 AM

Even if your husband won't go for counseling, you need someone to talk to. Find a Christian counselor if you can. If you can't afford it, perhaps you could go to a local women's shelter, and ask for counseling help. Many times they have a lot of resources for someone in your situation.

ILG · #10 02-03-2014, 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by erika.whitten

My husband and I have been together for about 8 years. We met at a UPCI church and he has been back maybe twice since then and refuses to go to church and told me that he doesn't really believe in God about 6 months ago.

He cleans absolutely nothing, not even cleaning up after himself but will just put trash on the table next to the trash can and just seems to refuse to throw anything away or clean anything up. He does no laundry or dishes at all.

He takes a shower about once a month. It used to be like once a week and for a time he was working at Wendy's and took a shower every day then but its just gotten worse over time.

He does work a regular 40 hour week at a pretty good job just like I do but from the moment he gets home till he goes to sleep, he sits at his computer and plays video games. He eats at his computer and occasionally we will go out or we will watch a show together but that's it.

Anytime I mention anything about cleaning or showering or anything like that it leads to a big fight and we don't speak for hours after that.

He would never EVER go to counseling. I love him so much but I just don't know what to do anymore...

People with aspergers syndrome can act this way. Some of the symptoms of aspergers are not being able to read and understand social cues, a lack of personal hygiene, an overstimulation with life in general so a tendency to hole up with video games or movies and things like that. Some other symptoms are odd food habits, not liking certain textures on the tongue or skin, a need for routines not being interrupted, not understanding why other people find the things they do offensive, when talking to them the conversation is pretty one-sided with them talking a LOT about what interests them, a tendency to have meltdowns and a tendency towards depression.

If he does have apsergers and he is holding down a 40 hour a week job, that would be a huge accomplishment as many people with aspergers are unable to do that. Aspergers is a neurological problem and can't be cured, but it can be managed. Many times when people with aspergers find out they have it they are greatly relieved.