Ministering to the Transgendered

[Dante]

A "transgendered" person is someone who is undergoing the change from one sex to another. They have either completed the process, or are in the middle of a series of surgeries to complete the process of changing from one gender to another.

With that said...

A pastor friend of mine shared with me a time when he was approached by a couple on his church who had been faithful members for a number of years. This couple was a model example of Christian virtue. They were active in the church, and well respected.

One day, the couple come to the pastor for a private meeting. In this meeting it is revealed that Mrs. So-And-So is really a man who went through a change several years prior to being a woman. This was a secret that the couple had for a number of years.

As to when the husband found out that his "wife" used to be a guy was not relayed to me, but the pastor did tell me that the couple were having issues, because the husband could not come to grips with the fact that his wife was a transgendered person (used to be another man). Now, the couple was locked in a legally binding marriage.

My pastor friend was dumfounded and did not know how to handle the situation, but tried his best to share with them God's love as best as he could.

I have lost contact with that pastor friend, and I never found out the outcome of that situation, but a few questions come to mind that I think bare serious scriptural consideration.

1. If a transgendered person becomes born again, should they reverse their transition if they completed it? Obviously if they have not completed the transition they should cease doing so, but what should someone do in the event they have already completed their transition from one gender to another?

2. If a transgendered person becomes legally married, and converts to Christ, should that couple divorce?

Does anyone care to try and tackle this dilemma? How do you share God's love with these people, yet stress the natural order that God placed in motion at creation?

[Questioner]

I am transfinancial. I was born one way but in my mind I honestly believe that it is the other way. I do expect the government to assist me so that I can live an honest life based on the financial situation I KNOW I am in my head. I took the first step by buying an expensive car but the government will need to assist me with the rest. If people don't understand this, they are just prejudiced and intolerant.

In all seriousness, this subject boggles my mind. I am open-minded to the idea that people are attracted to the same sex, however am not open-minded when they are genetically and scientifically one gender and decide that they are something else in their brain. (hermaphrodites are an entirely different discussion).

Especially since there have been a couple of different stories in the media where a female had her breasts surgically removed and based on that alone can now claim legal status as a male, and there was even a story very recently where some prisoner in the US was getting a sex change operation paid for by the government. Ridiculous, in my opinion.

[ILG]

I think each situation is somewhat different. There are people who are born with ambiguous genitalia who at some point must choose their gender. God did not choose it for them and they don't know what they were from birth. A parent may have raised them one way and then they choose another.

That said, with some, it seems more cut and dried. However, I wonder with all the stuff being injected into our bodies, all the hormones they are putting in foods, all the GMO stuff, all the toxins in the air, all the pharmaceuticals in the water and I think we have to consider that there may be a biological/chemical reason people are confused about what gender they are. It may not be as cut and dried for some as it once would have been before our modern environment.

And of course there are people who are just perverted. However, I think there is a valid and scientific reason for compassion. None of this is easy.

[bbyrd009]

Amen; but celibacy is. All the rest is
the result of sin. If one counseled
(which is against Scripture, anyway-
-the Holy Spirit is your counselor)
anything, it should be these, imo.

[Cindy]

So the husband feels deceived? No kidding, how could he not tell all those years?

[bbyrd009]

Originally Posted by Cindy

So the husband feels deceived? No kidding, how could he not tell all those years?

No kidding, indeed. Romantic love is truly blind, in a way that true love is not. Funny, I'm reading about this right now. Romantic love, like a lot of present-day misconceptions, was invented in the middle ages, and many societies still do not even have it. It is almost exclusively a first-world construct? Hmm.

[houston]

Originally Posted by Cindy

So the husband feels deceived? No kidding, how could he not tell all those years?

Um... do you really want to know?

The penis is inverted. Nerves are kept intact. The intimacy is "real." Adams apple is shaved.

Want more details?

[houston]

Depending on the age... if he became a woman when he was young it'd be hard to notice. For many males, prominent male features (defining bone structure) don't really develop until mid 20's.

[Titus2woman]

Originally Posted by ILG

I think each situation is somewhat different. There are people who are born with ambiguous genitalia who at some point must choose their gender. God did not choose it for them and they don't know what they were from birth. A parent may have raised them one way and then they choose another.

That said, with some, it seems more cut and dried. However, I wonder with all the stuff being injected into our bodies, all the hormones they are putting in foods, all the GMO stuff, all the toxins in the air, all the pharmaceuticals in the water and I think we have to consider that there may be a biological/chemical reason people are confused about what gender they are. It may not be as cut and dried for some as it once would have been before our modern environment.

And of course there are people who are just perverted. However, I think there is a valid and scientific reason for compassion. None of this is easy.

As ILG said there are many factors that leave us without a solid answer. I worked in endocrinology for eight years and saw many patients that were born neither completely male nor female. I have also talked with patients with severe gender identity issues. All are not homosexual as in the case of a genotypically male (XY) who had been surgically resexed to female in childhood (easier to build a girl) and was now lesbian (by most people's standards).

I believe that God is genderless and so are our spirits. Our job is to love people regardless of their gender and the way to minister to the transgendered is the same as the way to minister to any other human. To share the message of God's love and let them and God work out the rest. Inserting our personal opinions into another person's life is just not required by God or needed by them. We do not have to be anyone's Holy Spirit... and I am personally thankful for that!

[CC1]

Originally Posted by Dante

A "transgendered" person is someone who is undergoing the change from one sex to another. They have either completed the process, or are in the middle of a series of surgeries to complete the process of changing from one gender to another.

With that said...

A pastor friend of mine shared with me a time when he was approached by a couple on his church who had been faithful members for a number of years. This couple was a model example of Christian virtue. They were active in the church, and well respected.

One day, the couple come to the pastor for a private meeting. In this meeting it is revealed that Mrs. So-And-So is really a man who went through a change several years prior to being a woman. This was a secret that the couple had for a number of years.

As to when the husband found out that his "wife" used to be a guy was not relayed to me, but the pastor did tell me that the couple were having issues, because the husband could not come to grips with the fact that his wife was a transgendered person (used to be another man). Now, the couple was locked in a legally binding marriage.

My pastor friend was dumfounded and did not know how to handle the situation, but tried his best to share with them God's love as best as he could.

I have lost contact with that pastor friend, and I never found out the outcome of that situation, but a few questions come to mind that I think bare serious scriptural consideration.

1. If a transgendered person becomes born again, should they reverse their transition if they completed it? Obviously if they have not completed the transition they should cease doing so, but what should someone do in the event they have already completed their transition from one gender to another?

2. If a transgendered person becomes legally married, and converts to Christ, should that couple divorce?

Does anyone care to try and tackle this dilemma? How do you share God's love with these people, yet stress the natural order that God placed in motion at creation?

Excellent theological / ethical question. I am eagerly awaiting the various opinions.

The only thing that clearly and quickly jumps out to me is that it would be impossible for someone to reverse the surgery I believe. However they could stop taking hormones that unnaturally change many of the aspects of their gender.

My gut instinct is that a man deceived into marrying a transgendered person should have a right to divorce. Have not thought it through biblically yet. Having said that form a practical standpoint I have a really hard time believeing you could not tell. Maybe in a few instances but not many. I have seen transgendered persons before and had no problem telling what they were. Maybe they just didn't have enough money for the "deluxe" surgery package that shaved the adams apples, etc. Or maybe they did not have as slim petite build to start with. Most times it is the adams apple and large manly hands that are a dead giveaway.