Almost without fail, "cannot" means "will not." But once in awhile, it may be true, when it involves a hurt that has escalated into bitterness and has actually become enmeshed with the spirit. Prayer and fasting can break this, but only if we have a strong desire on our part. This is where many of us fail: we do not have the desire to let the other person off the hook.
As we go to God in prayer and fasting, we learn that we must wait upon Him. At this point, there will be very little emotion. But as we continue to wait on God, and He sees that we have purposed that, with His help, we are determined to forgive that person, we will slowly begin to feel some desire. Like Elijah, after the seventh time, when he saw the tiny cloud, like a mans' hand. Sometimes things do not come so easy, and we live in a microwave world where we want everything fast and effortless.
Forgiving is usually a process. We are in a state of "forgiving." It comes gradually. This is a key, because if we insist on having it instantly, we will probably give up before we attain it. Learn to wait! As we wait on God, we will begin to feel a release, and we know that something is working within us. That will be the spirit, or gift, of forgiveness, without which we will never be able to fully forgive the other person.
Will we never learn that we are nothing in and of ourselves and that we can do nothing in and or ourselves? He told us so clearly that we are mere branches. He is the Vine, and from the vine flows all of life.
Let's purpose in our hearts to please God. Let us make that our life's goal. And when we do, we will have a strong desire burning within us to do those things that are pleasing to Him and that includes the difficult things like denying oursevles...carrying our cross...and forgiving others. It will become a joy!
__________________
Isaiah 53:5: "But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."(KJV)
"God sends no one away empty except those who are full of themselves." Dwight L. Moody
Please pray for me ....I am struggling with needing to know that I have completely forgiven some people. I think I've forgiven them but then all of the pain comes back and I am constantly having to try to put things out of my mind. It would help if the others ASKED for forgiveness or even SAW their need to be forgiven. We are supposed to forgive whether they ask or not, aren't we?...I've heard people say, "No - they have to ask"........When Jesus was hanging on the cross, the people there did not ask Him to forgive, but He forgave. Please pray for Talk Lady. If I have doubt about whether I have forgiven them or not, then that must mean that I haven't....Just pray for Talk Lady. Thanks.
Dear Sister,
I felt your heartache while reading this struggle you have experienced with forgiven others who have hurt you. I don't know all the specifics of what happened, but God sees the prison of betrayal that you've endured.
Bitterness can be its own prison. If we cannot walk in forgiveness then we are chained to the walls of a dark, deep prison of pain that leads to a life of self-pity.
As I wrote earlier, forgiving is a process that comes gradually. I remember reading in Matthew that if we don't forgive others than neither will our Father forgive us. That scripture use to haunt me for a long time, because like you, I wanted to forgive someone who caused me much pain, but I could never reach that place of total forgiveness.
The Lord is often more patient with us than we are with ourselves. His desire is for you to be free from the chains of not being able to forgive and to experience the pure joy that forgiven others brings to a life.
Steal away with God and pray and fast and wait. That may sound simple, but if you just wait on Him...He will give you the first step of forgiving others which is the desire to forgive.
If you could take what I've written here and be determined to lean on God, in His perfect time, you will experience the joy that He has waiting for you.
I will be praying for you and believing that joy will blossom in your life again.
chosen
__________________
Isaiah 53:5: "But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."(KJV)
"God sends no one away empty except those who are full of themselves." Dwight L. Moody
Almost without fail, "cannot" means "will not." But once in awhile, it may be true, when it involves a hurt that has escalated into bitterness and has actually become enmeshed with the spirit. Prayer and fasting can break this, but only if we have a strong desire on our part. This is where many of us fail: we do not have the desire to let the other person off the hook.
As we go to God in prayer and fasting, we learn that we must wait upon Him. At this point, there will be very little emotion. But as we continue to wait on God, and He sees that we have purposed that, with His help, we are determined to forgive that person, we will slowly begin to feel some desire. Like Elijah, after the seventh time, when he saw the tiny cloud, like a mans' hand. Sometimes things do not come so easy, and we live in a microwave world where we want everything fast and effortless.
Forgiving is usually a process. We are in a state of "forgiving." It comes gradually. This is a key, because if we insist on having it instantly, we will probably give up before we attain it. Learn to wait! As we wait on God, we will begin to feel a release, and we know that something is working within us. That will be the spirit, or gift, of forgiveness, without which we will never be able to fully forgive the other person.
Will we never learn that we are nothing in and of ourselves and that we can do nothing in and or ourselves? He told us so clearly that we are mere branches. He is the Vine, and from the vine flows all of life.
Let's purpose in our hearts to please God. Let us make that our life's goal. And when we do, we will have a strong desire burning within us to do those things that are pleasing to Him and that includes the difficult things like denying oursevles...carrying our cross...and forgiving others. It will become a joy!
I felt your heartache while reading this struggle you have experienced with forgiven others who have hurt you. I don't know all the specifics of what happened, but God sees the prison of betrayal that you've endured.
Bitterness can be its own prison. If we cannot walk in forgiveness then we are chained to the walls of a dark, deep prison of pain that leads to a life of self-pity.
As I wrote earlier, forgiving is a process that comes gradually. I remember reading in Matthew that if we don't forgive others than neither will our Father forgive us. That scripture use to haunt me for a long time, because like you, I wanted to forgive someone who caused me much pain, but I could never reach that place of total forgiveness.
The Lord is often more patient with us than we are with ourselves. His desire is for you to be free from the chains of not being able to forgive and to experience the pure joy that forgiven others brings to a life.
Steal away with God and pray and fast and wait. That may sound simple, but if you just wait on Him...He will give you the first step of forgiving others which is the desire to forgive.
If you could take what I've written here and be determined to lean on God, in His perfect time, you will experience the joy that He has waiting for you.
I will be praying for you and believing that joy will blossom in your life again.
All the Glory to God. It's only having to go through that process that God allowed me to see what I wrote on this thread. He is such a patient, caring friend.
__________________
Isaiah 53:5: "But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."(KJV)
"God sends no one away empty except those who are full of themselves." Dwight L. Moody
Also it helps to remember if we dont forgive others God wont forgive us. To me that is great motivation.
As I mentioned on a post above, that was what brought the fear of the Lord for me to push and search on how to forgive. People tend to take the easy route and just confess forgiveness without digging a little deeper and having those areas exposed so that true forgiveness could take place.
We see those walking wounded here on AFF and I pray that the process of forgiving would begin in their lives, so they can have joy again.
__________________
Isaiah 53:5: "But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."(KJV)
"God sends no one away empty except those who are full of themselves." Dwight L. Moody
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