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03-29-2007, 07:22 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2007
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Romantic Love in 2007 - Is there hope?
The reason for this thread is because I have been in close communication in the past couple of years with many single's [never been married] between the ages of 40-55 years old.
The feeling I get from talking to them is one of hopelessness, an unbelief in the existence of romantic love, and a helplessness as to them finding the right mate, therefore they are willing to settle for people and things they would never have settled for in the past.
My question for those who really care to answer is this: Do you think this is a sign or our times? Is it unrealistic expectations? Is it that we really don't believe in true romantic...one in a million love? Do we even know how to begin our search for love, does it exist, is it a fallacy? Do you really think you could marry a number of people and be happy or is there one 'soulmate' that you should/could find?
What do you tell these who have never been married who feel that going into their late adulthood that there is hope?
Sincerely, Rhoni
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03-29-2007, 07:23 AM
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Non-Resident Redneck
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,523
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I'm eat slap up with it.
That's all I know.
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03-29-2007, 07:30 AM
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Still Figuring It Out.
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,858
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coonskinner
I'm eat slap up with it.
That's all I know.
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Said like a true country boy...
Good job...
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03-29-2007, 07:42 AM
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Still Figuring It Out.
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,858
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhoni
The reason for this thread is because I have been in close communication in the past couple of years with many single's [never been married] between the ages of 40-55 years old.
The feeling I get from talking to them is one of hopelessness, an unbelief in the existence of romantic love, and a helplessness as to them finding the right mate, therefore they are willing to settle for people and things they would never have settled for in the past.
My question for those who really care to answer is this: Do you think this is a sign or our times? Is it unrealistic expectations? Is it that we really don't believe in true romantic...one in a million love? Do we even know how to begin our search for love, does it exist, is it a fallacy? Do you really think you could marry a number of people and be happy or is there one 'soulmate' that you should/could find?
What do you tell these who have never been married who feel that going into their late adulthood that there is hope?
Sincerely, Rhoni
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Not knowing the people you know I can't say anything definite about their situation but I can say a few things in general.
1. This is a selfish generation and those who even really know what love is and how to love are few and far between. Not non-existent... just few and far between.
2. I think sometimes people who are out looking for "romantic love" are looking for some googly eyed relationship where they float around on cloud nine. That isn't romantic love. That is a dream world handed to us by books, tv etc. Romantic love is a day by day, feet on the ground, through good times & bad love for someone you are glad to have by your side. Romantic love is a friendship first and a friendship last. All the rest is just sandwiched inside the fact that, when the day is done, these 2 people just love to be with each other. THAT... my friend... after 16 years of marriage you are still excited when your best friend comes home from work... is as romantic as it gets.
3. Taking point 1 & 2 into mind I think people are looking for a forest and the trees keep getting in the way. I see so many people who are looking their soul mate in the face but just can't see it because their friend is standing there.
As I said... I can't say anything definitive for the people you speak of because I don't know them. But all too often a search for some dreamy definition of romantic love cheats people out of a life time of romance.
Romantic love is a choice you make when you find that friend (of the opposite sex, of course  ) who is always by your side and you couldn't dream of doing without.
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03-29-2007, 08:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Digging4Truth
Not knowing the people you know I can't say anything definite about their situation but I can say a few things in general.
1. This is a selfish generation and those who even really know what love is and how to love are few and far between. Not non-existent... just few and far between.
2. I think sometimes people who are out looking for "romantic love" are looking for some googly eyed relationship where they float around on cloud nine. That isn't romantic love. That is a dream world handed to us by books, tv etc. Romantic love is a day by day, feet on the ground, through good times & bad love for someone you are glad to have by your side. Romantic love is a friendship first and a friendship last. All the rest is just sandwiched inside the fact that, when the day is done, these 2 people just love to be with each other. THAT... my friend... after 16 years of marriage you are still excited when your best friend comes home from work... is as romantic as it gets.
3. Taking point 1 & 2 into mind I think people are looking for a forest and the trees keep getting in the way. I see so many people who are looking their soul mate in the face but just can't see it because their friend is standing there.
As I said... I can't say anything definitive for the people you speak of because I don't know them. But all too often a search for some dreamy definition of romantic love cheats people out of a life time of romance.
Romantic love is a choice you make when you find that friend (of the opposite sex, of course ) who is always by your side and you couldn't dream of doing without. |
Preach it bruddah!
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03-29-2007, 08:04 AM
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Administrator
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 13,829
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Digging4Truth
2. I think sometimes people who are out looking for "romantic love" are looking for some googly eyed relationship where they float around on cloud nine. That isn't romantic love. That is a dream world handed to us by books, tv etc. Romantic love is a day by day, feet on the ground, through good times & bad love for someone you are glad to have by your side. Romantic love is a friendship first and a friendship last. All the rest is just sandwiched inside the fact that, when the day is done, these 2 people just love to be with each other. THAT... my friend... after 16 years of marriage you are still excited when your best friend comes home from work... is as romantic as it gets.
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Good post!
The "chemical" attraction needs to be there...for obvious reasons...  However, most people mistake that initial chemistry for love, when in reality LOVE is what you do day to day with or for another person, even when the "chemistry" has sometimes gone AWOL.
The romantic man is the one who commits his life to cherishing his woman, and then sticks to his commitment. You can provide all the flowers and dinners and jewelry and kisses and walks on the beach and talks by the fire you want to, but if a man won't commit to a relationship fearlessly and selflessly, he's missed the point of romance completely. 
__________________
"God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours."
--David Livingstone
"To see no being, not God’s or any, but you also go thither,
To see no possession but you may possess it—enjoying all without labor or purchase—
abstracting the feast, yet not abstracting one particle of it;…."
--Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, Song of the Open Road
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03-29-2007, 08:06 AM
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My Family!
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Collierville, TN
Posts: 31,786
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D4T - awesome post!
I agree completely!!!
__________________
Master of Science in Applied Disgruntled Religious Theorist Wrangling
PhD in Petulant Tantrum Quelling
Dean of the School of Hard Knocks
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03-29-2007, 08:07 AM
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Still Figuring It Out.
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,858
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ronzo
Preach it bruddah!
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Now Ronzo... in cases such as ours... we just sit quietly hoping they never realize how much better they could have done.
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03-29-2007, 08:08 AM
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My Family!
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Collierville, TN
Posts: 31,786
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Digging4Truth
Now Ronzo... in cases such as ours... we just sit quietly hoping they never realize how much better they could have done. |
After reading your welcome to your wife yesterday - I don't believe this for one bit! She is lucky to have found you!
__________________
Master of Science in Applied Disgruntled Religious Theorist Wrangling
PhD in Petulant Tantrum Quelling
Dean of the School of Hard Knocks
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03-29-2007, 08:16 AM
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Still Figuring It Out.
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,858
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissBrattified
Good post!
The "chemical" attraction needs to be there...for obvious reasons... However, most people mistake that initial chemistry for love, when in reality LOVE is what you do day to day with or for another person, even when the "chemistry" has sometimes gone AWOL.
The romantic man is the one who commits his life to cherishing his woman, and then sticks to his commitment. You can provide all the flowers and dinners and jewelry and kisses and walks on the beach and talks by the fire you want to, but if a man won't commit to a relationship fearlessly and selflessly, he's missed the point of romance completely. |
Yes'm...
Flowers, dinner, (no jewelry here ) etc outside of being part of a committed relationship are as useless as light bulbs & flashlights without being connected to power.
Hence the lady that just walks away rolling her eyes saying "You just don't get it" while handsome Jim stands there saying "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?"
It about the love stupid.
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