McCain Jokes Here!!!!!!!

[Monkeyman]

This thread is for McCain jokes so AFF will be balanced and fair...I'll go first since it is MY thread:


According to the Washington Post, Barack Obama and actress Scarlett Johansson are email buddies. Apparently they email each other back and forth. So, you've got a 23-year-old gorgeous, blonde actress emailing a married presidential candidate. Well, what could go wrong there? Not to be outdone today, John McCain admitted he had been exchanging flirty emails with Angela Lansbury.

[Monkeyman]

Earlier today, John McCain released 1,200 pages of his medical records. Or, as his doctor calls it, Chapter One

[Monkeyman]

This week, Barack Obama, campaigned on an Indian reservation and the tribal chief adopted him. The Indians actually prefer Obama to John McCain, because they still remember when McCain took their land.

[Monkeyman]

Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John McCain have all been arguing, claiming that they're the most qualified person to answer the White House phone at 3 a.m. Yeah, McCain said, 'I'm the most qualified, because I'm usually up at that hour peeing anyway.

[FRINGE_NUTTER]

This is not a McCain joke but some may make it into one. I heard John Rich talk about this song he wrote on Hannity's radio program today. I can imagine this played at rallies. Or is it already?


http://www.johnrich.com
Click on Download the Single to listen.

Lyrics:
http://www.johnrich.com/lyrics.htm

RAISIN' MCCAIN
Music and lyrics by John Rich

Well we're all just raisin' McCain
Everywhere across the USA
You can get on the train or get out of the way
We're all just raisin' McCain

And we're all just raisin' McCain
Everywhere across the USA
You can get on the train or get out of the way
We're all just raisin' McCain

Well he got shot down in a Vietnam town
Fighting for the red, white and blue
And they locked him up in the Hanoi Hilton
Thinking they could break him in two

He stayed strong, stayed extra long
'Til they let all the other boys out
Now we've got a real man with an American plan
We're going to put him in the big White House

Well we're all just raisin' McCain
Everywhere across the USA
You can get on the train or get out of the way
We're all just raisin' McCain

Play that American guitar, son
And we're all just raisin' McCain
Everywhere across the USA
You can get on the train or get out of the way

We're all just raisin' McCain
I said we're all just raisin' McCain
Everywhere across the USA
You can get on the train or get out of the way
We're all just raisin' McCain

Well you can get on the train or get out of the way
We're all just raisin' McCain.

[Monkeyman]

hahaha, that's a good ole boy song for sure!!!

[Monkeyman]

"We're leaning more and more about John and Cindy McCain. He's on this big biography tour. I guess his wife Cindy is worth over $100 million because the family made money selling Budweiser beer. So he has a wife 20 years younger than him, free beer, and unlimited money. I think I speak for all guys when I go, 'Why is he running for president?'" --Jay Leno

[Monkeyman]

John McCain's daughter is in the news. John McCain's daughter says that a lot of guys don't want to date her because her dad makes her too high-profile. Yeah. That's part of the reason. It's also because she is 63 years old!!!!

[Monkeyman]

"Did you hear about this? Two State Department employees were fired -- this is a bit of a scandal -- because they were looking at Barack Obama's passport file. Not only that, but the same person was also looking at John McCain's Civil War records." --David Letterman

[OP_Carl]

Those were some good ones!

I'm sure you can also dig in to all the old Ronald Reagan joke archives, and anything covering the age angle can be made to fit.