Sunday School classes teaching sex education

[jaxfam6]

I found out yesterday that over 4 years ago the wonderful UPC church we attended taught a lesson to the 12 years about sex education. This was done without parental knowledge. Also found out that their Biblical teachings on sex was not accurate. Go figure.

Just curious what others may have to say about such activities by churches. Do you think it should be taught at church? If so at what age? Do you believe they should do so without parental knowledge? Have you had a similar experience?

Needless to say, this is info that we have discussed with our kids on an on going basis. Our son knows that the info they gave him is not correct. I still wish he had told us at that time about the class. If I had known then I would not have allowed him to sit in on the class. I am just thankful that we were ahead of the game and that he was not messed up with their ideas and thinking.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by jaxfam6

I found out yesterday that over 4 years ago the wonderful UPC church we attended taught a lesson to the 12 years about sex education. This was done without parental knowledge. Also found out that their Biblical teachings on sex was not accurate. Go figure.

Just curious what others may have to say about such activities by churches. Do you think it should be taught at church? If so at what age? Do you believe they should do so without parental knowledge? Have you had a similar experience?

Needless to say, this is info that we have discussed with our kids on an on going basis. Our son knows that the info they gave him is not correct. I still wish he had told us at that time about the class. If I had known then I would not have allowed him to sit in on the class. I am just thankful that we were ahead of the game and that he was not messed up with their ideas and thinking.

Explain what you mean by "sex education." Was it a passing comment by the teacher within a lesson, or a group of lessons devoted to that topic? What exactly was taught, and which parts were inaccurate?

Satisfy my curiosity, and then I'll answer.

[jaxfam6]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Explain what you mean by "sex education." Was it a passing comment by the teacher within a lesson, or a group of lessons devoted to that topic? What exactly was taught, and which parts were inaccurate?

Satisfy my curiosity, and then I'll answer.

It was a series of classes they taught to the kids. I have no idea why my son never spoke about it at the time. They were telling the kids what positions were Biblical. I had no idea the Bible told us that information.
From the things he has been telling me it was pretty graphic. Stuff best not talked about.

Probably should have thought of that before I started this. I was just a little annoyed. A little late in time for that but still annoyed.

[Pro31:28]

Wow, Thats crazy!
I teach at a Christian School, and we had a "Purity Lock-in" for the girls. We had the parents permission and we had a staff of very qualified teachers. The classes were "Hygeine", "Purity", "Forgiveness", and "Modesty". We had girls that were in 6th grade (these were focused on hygeine, menstruation, purity, and modesty) all the way to 12th. The older (high school) girls were spoken to a little more plainly.
All of the parents very specific knowledge as to what was being discussed. We also had a Christian recording artist give a concert, her message was purity.
The girls loved it and said that no one had ever talked to them about these things before so plainly, not parents, or youth pastors. This broke my heart.
Most of these "Christian kids" had learned about sex was from their friends and the world, other than --Don't do it-- which is what they were told by pastors and parents.
I have a real heart for teenagers, and I want to see them live holy, pure lives. But if the world is so plain spoken with their lies, we must counter with the Truth.
We told the girls to go home and talk about all of this with their parents, we got letters and phone calls from parents saying that this was the most their teen had ever communicated with them in some time... (no negative response whatsoever). Paul talked about it plainly, why shouldn't the church?
BTW there was no discussion of 'biblical positions'!

On another note, my son only went to public school for 2 years. In his last year, they were teaching a sex education class. it stated very specifically that parents could come in and reveiw the material. My husband went to the school and when he asked to reveiw it, he was told that he was the only parent EVER to ask to reveiw the material!!! CRAZY! After reveiwing it, we opted out, thank you very much!

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by jaxfam6

It was a series of classes they taught to the kids. I have no idea why my son never spoke about it at the time. They were telling the kids what positions were Biblical. I had no idea the Bible told us that information.

From the things he has been telling me it was pretty graphic. Stuff best not talked about.

Probably should have thought of that before I started this. I was just a little annoyed. A little late in time for that but still annoyed.

Well. LOL!!! If our church did something similar (which they wouldn't), we would be having a meeting with the pastor immediately to address it. WAY out of line.

And "which positions are biblical?" I didn't know the Bible discussed that.

However...(and I know you believe your son), its always a good idea to ask a few adults about it, and get their take on the events before you go for the jugular. Children can misunderstand, or mistake one thing for another. I'm not saying he did...but its best to have your ducks in a row and have indisputable facts before you go into attack mode.

(I would go so far as to ask in a very friendly and non-confrontational tone..."Hey, my son told me you guys taught a biblically based sex ed curriculum last year--is there any way for me to get a copy of that?"

Anyway, if the facts are accurate as your son has presented them, there would be a very serious meeting with the pastor about the Sunday School department. (or youth dept.) Sometimes things are done without pastoral approval, so you can't assume the pastor knew or approved. But if he did....tsk tsk tsk.

Like I said--make sure you get the facts first from several reliable sources, and if you had a copy of the curriculum in hand (assuming there was any), it will be much better.

I had to educate Hannah on specifics a couple of years earlier than I had planned because her cousin gave her misinformation--such terrible misinformation, that leaving her with that info would have been more traumatic than setting it straight in great detail. I was NOT happy about it. And when I was done, I called my sister up and told her she needed to inform HER daughter of the birds and bees, since obviously my niece didn't have a CLUE...LOL!

[jaxfam6]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Well. LOL!!! If our church did something similar (which they wouldn't), we would be having a meeting with the pastor immediately to address it. WAY out of line.

And "which positions are biblical?" I didn't know the Bible discussed that.

However...(and I know you believe your son), its always a good idea to ask a few adults about it, and get their take on the events before you go for the jugular. Children can misunderstand, or mistake one thing for another. I'm not saying he did...but its best to have your ducks in a row and have indisputable facts before you go into attack mode.

(I would go so far as to ask in a very friendly and non-confrontational tone..."Hey, my son told me you guys taught a biblically based sex ed curriculum last year--is there any way for me to get a copy of that?"

Anyway, if the facts are accurate as your son has presented them, there would be a very serious meeting with the pastor about the Sunday School department. (or youth dept.) Sometimes things are done without pastoral approval, so you can't assume the pastor knew or approved. But if he did....tsk tsk tsk.

Like I said--make sure you get the facts first from several reliable sources, and if you had a copy of the curriculum in hand (assuming there was any), it will be much better.

I had to educate Hannah on specifics a couple of years earlier than I had planned because her cousin gave her misinformation--such terrible misinformation, that leaving her with that info would have been more traumatic than setting it straight in great detail. I was NOT happy about it. And when I was done, I called my sister up and told her she needed to inform HER daughter of the birds and bees, since obviously my niece didn't have a CLUE...LOL!

At this point it is over 4 years since this took place. I left FL because of bad feelings I had while there. Knowing the church and how many divorces and remarriages inside the church that have gone on I have no doubt what he told me is true. This particular son has a way of down playing things to sound better than what they really are.

I am just very thankful that we are not there anymore. I would have had me a holy fit if I had known this back then. The fit may have included a sort of re-enactment of Jesus driving out the money changers from the temple. Would have been my version.

[jaxfam6]

Originally Posted by Pro31:28

Wow, Thats crazy!
I teach at a Christian School, and we had a "Purity Lock-in" for the girls. We had the parents permission and we had a staff of very qualified teachers. The classes were "Hygeine", "Purity", "Forgiveness", and "Modesty". We had girls that were in 6th grade (these were focused on hygeine, menstruation, purity, and modesty) all the way to 12th. The older (high school) girls were spoken to a little more plainly.
All of the parents very specific knowledge as to what was being discussed. We also had a Christian recording artist give a concert, her message was purity.
The girls loved it and said that no one had ever talked to them about these things before so plainly, not parents, or youth pastors. This broke my heart.
Most of these "Christian kids" had learned about sex was from their friends and the world, other than --Don't do it-- which is what they were told by pastors and parents.
I have a real heart for teenagers, and I want to see them live holy, pure lives. But if the world is so plain spoken with their lies, we must counter with the Truth.
We told the girls to go home and talk about all of this with their parents, we got letters and phone calls from parents saying that this was the most their teen had ever communicated with them in some time... (no negative response whatsoever). Paul talked about it plainly, why shouldn't the church?
BTW there was no discussion of 'biblical positions'!

On another note, my son only went to public school for 2 years. In his last year, they were teaching a sex education class. it stated very specifically that parents could come in and reveiw the material. My husband went to the school and when he asked to reveiw it, he was told that he was the only parent EVER to ask to reveiw the material!!! CRAZY! After reveiwing it, we opted out, thank you very much!

That is the way it should be done. If this is how it was handled I think most would be satisfied. I am still just flabbergasted that they talked about such stuff to kids who were so young. He has been telling me some of the questions the kids asked and what the teachers had said and it was NOT things that should have been discussed. The teachers sound like perverts to me.

[Pro31:28]

Originally Posted by jaxfam6

That is the way it should be done. If this is how it was handled I think most would be satisfied. I am still just flabbergasted that they talked about such stuff to kids who were so young. He has been telling me some of the questions the kids asked and what the teachers had said and it was NOT things that should have been discussed. The teachers sound like perverts to me.

What a shame

[Jack Shephard]

I have no trouble with the church teaching on sex or about sex to the youth, say 15 and older. However discussion on positions and 'how-to's' and how-not-to's' should not be the topic that should be covered in a premarital class, IMO. Teaching that sex and sex acts are great things, BUT in the confines of marriage is important.

This topic has been too taboo in the church. If it is taught on the only thing you hear is how bad it is. I think it can hurt our kids. They have this false sense that sex is bad, but yet their bodies are telling them it is ok to do so there is this disconnect. I believe that if the church approached sex from a proactive view instead a reactive view that the youths of our church might have a better understanding and might actually stay away from it. My parents taught me about the benefits of sexual expressions, but also taught it was specifically for marriage. It actually helped me. I think that if we taught it to the youth in a straight honest way and not pervert it to be some bad thing, but show them the actual benefits and purpose it might be a different situation with them experimenting with it, IMO.

[Pro31:28]

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

I have no trouble with the church teaching on sex or about sex to the youth, say 15 and older. However discussion on positions and 'how-to's' and how-not-to's' should not be the topic that should be covered in a premarital class, IMO. Teaching that sex and sex acts are great things, BUT in the confines of marriage is important.

This topic has been too taboo in the church. If it is taught on the only thing you hear is how bad it is. I think it can hurt our kids. They have this false sense that sex is bad, but yet their bodies are telling them it is ok to do so there is this disconnect. I believe that if the church approached sex from a proactive view instead a reactive view that the youths of our church might have a better understanding and might actually stay away from it. My parents taught me about the benefits of sexual expressions, but also taught it was specifically for marriage. It actually helped me. I think that if we taught it to the youth in a straight honest way and not pervert it to be some bad thing, but show them the actual benefits and purpose it might be a different situation with them experimenting with it, IMO.

And This sister gives you a loud "AMEN"!!!