Matters of The Heart

bishoph · #1 03-12-2008, 07:44 PM

Let me first say that, I believe 150% in pastoral authority and submission to the same. Having said that, when it comes to inter-church dating:

1. How much should the respective pastors be involved with the dating/engagement/marriage process?

2. If one of the pastors do not feel the relationship should progress, how should that be handled?

3. If the saved parents give their approval/disapproval, how much should that effect the pastor's opinion?

4. If one pastor is against the relationship based on a dislike of the other pastor/organization etc, is the couple in rebellion to spiritual authority if they continue their relationship?

(For the sake of discussion, assume all people involved are Apostolic but attend different churches)

Rhoni · #2 03-12-2008, 08:01 PM

Unless the Pastor is asked for counseling or advice about a relationship, He/she should just pray about it and not approach the couple.

One of the only exceptions to this rule would be if he knew of legal and/or sinful issues associated with one or other of the parties involved and knew they other was unaware.

Pastor Keith · #3 03-12-2008, 08:13 PM

According to the Apostle Paul the only qualification for the suitability of a partner for marriage is that they be a believer. Beyond that I am slow to get involved in who people marry, if so it will come back to bite you.

I think that parents should be involved much in this, also I hate to say it but stats show that arranged marriages do much better than what we currently experience here.

Kings Kid · #4 03-12-2008, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bishoph

Let me first say that, I believe 150% in pastoral authority and submission to the same. Having said that, when it comes to inter-church dating:

1. How much should the respective pastors be involved with the dating/engagement/marriage process?

2. If one of the pastors do not feel the relationship should progress, how should that be handled?

3. If the saved parents give their approval/disapproval, how much should that effect the pastor's opinion?

4. If one pastor is against the relationship based on a dislike of the other pastor/organization etc, is the couple in rebellion to spiritual authority if they continue their relationship?

(For the sake of discussion, assume all people involved are Apostolic but attend different churches)

Our church is kind of dealing with very issue right now. Her fiancee goes go a church that is about twenty minutes from us and our pastors don't get along with the pastor from the other church.

chosenbyone · #5 03-12-2008, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by keith4him

According to the Apostle Paul the only qualification for the suitability of a partner for marriage is that they be a believer. Beyond that I am slow to get involved in who people marry, if so it will come back to bite you.

I think that parents should be involved much in this, also I hate to say it but stats show that arranged marriages do much better than what we currently experience here.

I think your approach is well balanced.

chosenbyone · #6 03-12-2008, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kings Kid

Our church is kind of dealing with very issue right now. Her fiancee goes go a church that is about twenty minutes from us and our pastors don't get along with the pastor from the other church.

Why am I not surprised?

Praxeas · #7 03-12-2008, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bishoph

Let me first say that, I believe 150% in pastoral authority and submission to the same. Having said that, when it comes to inter-church dating:

1. How much should the respective pastors be involved with the dating/engagement/marriage process?

2. If one of the pastors do not feel the relationship should progress, how should that be handled?

3. If the saved parents give their approval/disapproval, how much should that effect the pastor's opinion?

4. If one pastor is against the relationship based on a dislike of the other pastor/organization etc, is the couple in rebellion to spiritual authority if they continue their relationship?

(For the sake of discussion, assume all people involved are Apostolic but attend different churches)

I don't believe a Pastor was meant to micro manage saints lives at all. He might give suggestions but the Pastor should not hold "pastoral authority" over someone's head.

freeatlast · #8 03-12-2008, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Praxeas

I don't believe a Pastor was meant to micro manage saints lives at all. He might give suggestions but the Pastor should not hold "pastoral authority" over someone's head.

I'm going to agree with you here Prax.

A_PoMo · #9 03-13-2008, 12:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Praxeas

I don't believe a Pastor was meant to micro manage saints lives at all. He might give suggestions but the Pastor should not hold "pastoral authority" over someone's head.

Ya, I'm not sure it's much the pastor's business. Actually, I'm pretty sure it's not. Well, I'm very sure it's not. The pastor is a shepherd not a Pope.

TRFrance · #10 03-13-2008, 01:38 AM

If they're both saved, and in doctrinally solid churches, the pastor should be careful not to be too heavy handed in his approach, even if he has reservations about the relationship or potential marriage.

If there are moral issues, criminal issues, or other serious issues that the pastor is aware of regarding the other potential mate, he should certainly bring that up, and express his reservations/disapproval of the situation if he feels that strongly about it.

At the end of the day,however, the pastor has to let the person make their own decision. If it comes down to it, if he feels his church member is being rebellious or unwise in the decision to marry this person, he can just politely decline to participate in the wedding ceremony, stating his reasons why, and then leave it in God's hands.

But its not his place to explicitly forbid the marriage of two Apostolic adults who wish to marry.