UPCI pastor resigns amid teen sex charges

[ILG]

Originally Posted by coadie

If he is into counseling, he should read up on ethics and take a few classes. One of the current issues is taking a risk of a false accusation. Good hedges protect the counselor.

I think it's too late for that.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by ILG

I think it's too late for that.

Yes, now he'll have to have his atty present.

[coadie]

Originally Posted by geekette

Oh, this has nothing to do with abortion, but you're so willing to drag that in here. Get back to the topic, please!

I'm really disgusted with the comments coming from some people. There's a reason why we make legal differences between children and adults, and that's because adults are presumed to be, well, Adult. On top of that, if you're in a certain position of trust with a youth, then more is expected of you. This man abused that trust and knew or should have known full well that having a relationship with a 16 YO is illegal and wrong. What you're doing here is blaming the victim.

I do not blame the victum. You missed the point. If we teach sexual activity in schools and the kids get curious and explore, it places a larger requirement on adults to be guarded and avoid messaging and private contact..

[ILG]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

I think it is a part of it. There are other girls in his church, it's stated it had never happened before. So, he knew from something counseling her and that's why he zeroed in on her. Not blaming HER at ALL.

Coming from the aspect of that girls need help with self-esteem, I agree with you. What I am speaking against is the idea of blaming the girl as if she wanted it and was asking for it. A girl can be confused about what she wants, especially a young girl who has low self-esteem. The pastor has no such excuse.

[scotty]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

Scotty, I hope some time you can share your story. Because I understand what you are saying. I cannot imagine the heartbreak you have had to deal with your own girls.

Without getting too personal and if you want to answer me via PM that's okay too, but I have a question. Since your daughters DO have you (a father) in their lives, do you feel it's a self-esteem issue with them?

I don't know Renda. That is a question I have been struggling with. They are beautiful girls who get plenty of attention from boys, honestly they could pick from a list if they wanted to. While I do believe that is the issue with some I believe more so its just the world today. As you said perfectly in your post, they equate love with sex. Its ok nowdays, its just sex. And its everywhere, the music, tv, movies, internet and school. They believe they have all the knowledge, freedoms and rights an adult has. They dont believe they should be treated any differently.

But the affection is something they crave. My 13yr old is the "daddys girl". She is very affectionate and loving and always has been. Then boys came along. When she has a boyfriend I rarely see her and have to stop her to get a hug. When she doesnt have a boyfriend she is at the door when I get home and will not pass by me without stealing a hug or just come downstairs and sit in my lap and talk. She knows I am here for her, but when she has a boyfriend then I'm not needed in the equation. So really , I dont know..... I just dont know.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by scotty

Why not ? What was she thinking ? Sneaking out of her home to have sex with a grown man, pastor or not thats really irrelevant to me. Why did she feel she had to go through with it ? The problem is very much a part of this equation. This was not rape, it was consentual sex. She consented to have sex with him. Let me reword that , "SHE WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM" . Yes, its very much a part of this equation.

Here is where I am taking issue with what you are saying. Let me clarify, I pretty much agree with Renda. But you are taking it one step further.

[ILG]

Originally Posted by geekette

Oh, this has nothing to do with abortion, but you're so willing to drag that in here. Get back to the topic, please!

I'm really disgusted with the comments coming from some people. There's a reason why we make legal differences between children and adults, and that's because adults are presumed to be, well, Adult. On top of that, if you're in a certain position of trust with a youth, then more is expected of you. This man abused that trust and knew or should have known full well that having a relationship with a 16 YO is illegal and wrong. What you're doing here is blaming the victim.

Blaming the victim is pretty popular amongst many conservative groups. If you see the problem, you are the problem.

[missourimary]

Originally Posted by Jermyn Davidson

He surrendered his license.
He knew this was coming and he knew he was guilty.
The only innocent parties involved in this case are the families of the adulterers and the church that this guy and his family founded.
This is so sad to read-- and quite baffling.
No one is above the attacks of satan or immune from the out of bounds desires of the flesh.

For the record, he appears to have surrendered his license a few days after the investigation began. This will make him appear guilty, but could have been done on advisement from the District because they didn't want the UPCI brought into it.

Originally Posted by Jermyn Davidson

What about this Pastor's family?
What about the souls of this child's parents?
What about the girl's soul?
What about the congregation?
What about the wife that worked so hard, side by side with her husband in this work of time and eternity?
What about his children?

In the video he states that he supports no minor children. If he has kids, they are grown. (Which means this girl would be younger than his own kids, if he has any.)

Originally Posted by rgcraig

I think it is a part of it. There are other girls in his church, it's stated it had never happened before. So, he knew from something counseling her and that's why he zeroed in on her. Not blaming HER at ALL.

Is there an article somewhere that states there were other girls her age in that church? The church is considering disbanding. I assume that means it may be fairly small.

[scotty]

Originally Posted by ILG

Here is where I am taking issue with what you are saying. Let me clarify, I pretty much agree with Renda. But you are taking it one step further.

I understand. Which part exactly are you having problems with? I would be happy to explain my position in detail .

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by scotty

I don't know Renda. That is a question I have been struggling with. They are beautiful girls who get plenty of attention from boys, honestly they could pick from a list if they wanted to. While I do believe that is the issue with some I believe more so its just the world today. As you said perfectly in your post, they equate love with sex. Its ok nowdays, its just sex. And its everywhere, the music, tv, movies, internet and school. They believe they have all the knowledge, freedoms and rights an adult has. They dont believe they should be treated any differently.

But the affection is something they crave. My 13yr old is the "daddys girl". She is very affectionate and loving and always has been. Then boys came along. When she has a boyfriend I rarely see her and have to stop her to get a hug. When she doesnt have a boyfriend she is at the door when I get home and will not pass by me without stealing a hug or just come downstairs and sit in my lap and talk. She knows I am here for her, but when she has a boyfriend then I'm not needed in the equation. So really , I dont know..... I just dont know.

Sorry you are having to go through this and I think people are misunderstanding you in this thread, but you know from experience that this could just as easily be one of your daughters we are talking about here.

I'm sure you'd sucker punch the dude that took advantage of your daughter, but you are seeing another side that some aren't.

Hang in there and love those girls and do all you can to help them. I'm so glad that my children are married. However, now I have a granddaughter to worry about. The influence that surrounds them is disgusting.