More Yucks

[Jay]

Originally Posted by Sam

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington DC . Nothing was moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window

The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?”

“Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and they’re asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they’re going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We’re going from car to car, collecting donations.”

“How much is everyone giving, on average?” the driver asks.

The man replies, “Roughly a gallon.”

AhAhaahAhaahHahhaHahahah!! That was too funny. I will have to share that with others.

[AreYouReady?]

Originally Posted by n david

Oh c'mon Timmy! Have you no sense of humor?! I mean, if Christians don't smile, we're criticised and if we do it's the same.... we can't win.

God definitely had a sense of humor ... He created a creature such as myself!

[RandyWayne]

[houston]

Wow!

[bbyrd009]

Originally Posted by Sam
A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington DC . Nothing was moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window

The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?”

“Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and they’re asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they’re going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We’re going from car to car, collecting donations.”

“How much is everyone giving, on average?” the driver asks.

The man replies, “Roughly a gallon.”

Hilarious. This is recent, I just trimmed it to the punch line.

[bbyrd009]

In the coming New Year, 2012, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address will occur on the same day.

This is an ironic juxtaposition of events.

One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant
creature of little intelligence for prognostication.

The other involves a groundhog.

[Sam]

Originally Posted by bbyrd009

In the coming New Year, 2012, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address will occur on the same day.

This is an ironic juxtaposition of events.

One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant
creature of little intelligence for prognostication.

The other involves a groundhog.

That is sooooo politically incorrect....

[BeenThinkin]

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road-side eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You may come with us, also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and
SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.

Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."


Come on now...you really didn't think there was such a thing as a heart-warming lawyer story...did you????

Just kidding....

Apology to all of the lawyers that post on AFF!

Been Thinkin

[BeenThinkin]

An eighty year old woman goes to the Doctor for a check up.

She was required to bring with her all types of medicine she had at home.

As the Doctor was looking through these he came across Birth Control pills.

"Mrs. Smith do you realize that these are Birth Control pills"? he said. "Yes, they help me sleep at night."

"But Mrs. Smith there is nothing in them that would help you to sleep!"

"I know that, but when I grind one up each morning and put it in the glass of orange juice that my 17 year old Granddaughter drinks, believe me, it helps me sleep at night"!

[bbyrd009]

HA!