Teens and "dating"???

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Truthseeker

Good points. I have explained what purpose of dating really is.

What are your thoughts on other person not in church or the truth?

We haven't allowed our girls to date anyone who isn't the same religion we are. Denomination is irrelevant, but doctrine and practices are important to us. What they do after they're grown and out of our house will be up to them, obviously, but while we have some input, we use it.

There was one young man who wanted to date Sarah a little over a year ago, and he goes to a different church (Baptist, I think?). Sarah told him that if he wanted to date her, he'd have to talk to her Daddy first. (Good girl! LOL!! ) He took her up on the offer, came over, helped Jeff put up some Christmas lights, had a conversation, and then went home. Jeff apparently told him that we don't allow dating outside our religion, and if he was interested in dating Sarah, he would have to attend our church and consider converting.

That was the end of that, and more importantly, Sarah saw that she wasn't important enough to the guy to warrant any changes (or extra effort) on his part so she was no longer interested anyway.

It all boils down to values. If you want to share a life with someone, you need to have the same values. If one person values family and the other doesn't, that will be a problem. If one person values church and the other doesn't, that will be a problem. If one person values hard work and the other one is lazy, that will be a problem. Dating people who are the same religion is a good way (but not foolproof way) to sort of have some of those things already behind you. At least the type of church, religious beliefs and certain inherent core values about morality and family are taken care of. You can move on to figuring out things like "What's their work ethic?", "How compassionate is this person?", "Do they respect their elders?, "Are they kind to animals and little kids?" "What are they passionate about?" Etc.

Plus, you have the biblical instruction to not be unequally yoked. I think that's a pretty important point to make. Dating is about finding the person you plan to be "yoked" with. Ergo, it makes sense to only date people who truly have that potential.

[Truthseeker]

I can see that. Just trying not to be to strict to not cause resentment which leads to rebellion but don't want to be loose either. Its like if I cut it off will it be counterproductive? He suppose to be talking to some girl from another school. Don't know much about her yet. We have open conversations about relationship and sex etc... Actually he told us about it so we would know. This stuff just scares parents because of what so many youth are doing.

[Truthseeker]

Miss Brattifield, didn't you date some out of your faith when in high school? Not sure if you that mentioned that before.

[BrotherEastman]

Originally Posted by Pliny

Please accept my apologies then. Much of what I stand for is ridiculed on this forum. I assumed, incorrectly, that this was more of the same. My apologies...

No worries my friend

[KeptByTheWord]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

We haven't allowed our girls to date anyone who isn't the same religion we are. Denomination is irrelevant, but doctrine and practices are important to us. What they do after they're grown and out of our house will be up to them, obviously, but while we have some input, we use it.

There was one young man who wanted to date Sarah a little over a year ago, and he goes to a different church (Baptist, I think?). Sarah told him that if he wanted to date her, he'd have to talk to her Daddy first. (Good girl! LOL!! ) He took her up on the offer, came over, helped Jeff put up some Christmas lights, had a conversation, and then went home. Jeff apparently told him that we don't allow dating outside our religion, and if he was interested in dating Sarah, he would have to attend our church and consider converting.

That was the end of that, and more importantly, Sarah saw that she wasn't important enough to the guy to warrant any changes (or extra effort) on his part so she was no longer interested anyway.

It all boils down to values. If you want to share a life with someone, you need to have the same values. If one person values family and the other doesn't, that will be a problem. If one person values church and the other doesn't, that will be a problem. If one person values hard work and the other one is lazy, that will be a problem. Dating people who are the same religion is a good way (but not foolproof way) to sort of have some of those things already behind you. At least the type of church, religious beliefs and certain inherent core values about morality and family are taken care of. You can move on to figuring out things like "What's their work ethic?", "How compassionate is this person?", "Do they respect their elders?, "Are they kind to animals and little kids?" "What are they passionate about?" Etc.

Plus, you have the biblical instruction to not be unequally yoked. I think that's a pretty important point to make. Dating is about finding the person you plan to be "yoked" with. Ergo, it makes sense to only date people who truly have that potential.

Excellent post!

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Truthseeker

Miss Brattifield, didn't you date some out of your faith when in high school? Not sure if you that mentioned that before.

My husband is the only guy I ever dated, and he was raised Assembly of God. He started coming to our church when I was about 15, and my Dad gave him a Bible study and he converted and was baptized. He received the Holy Ghost later. We started dating when I was 17. So...by the time we started dating, we were the same faith.

[MissBrattified]

TS, I do know that how you deal with boys has to be a bit different, and we're not there yet. Our boy is only 11. I can't really advise you on that, other than...I hope you got your "bluff in early." We've been lucky in that our girls actually take our advice and do what we ask. It could easily go another way, and there's not much we could do to stop them if they really wanted to rebel.

[Truthseeker]

Our appoarch has been to have honest open talk regarding relationship and sex. He seems to listen when spoken to the right way. I have just heard stories about church kids faking it at church or with parents but out doing stuff. So I wonder if best to be involved with them in the "dating" stuff to guide them the right way. Besides him being saved, If I can keep his pants on then we done something.

[Dordrecht]

Pliny,Much of what I stand for is ridiculed on this forum.

Much of what many say is ridiculed here.
Nothing new